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summary: every terrible memory comes rushing back to you after you accidentally break one of steve’s plates.
warnings: mentions of past abuse, domestic abuse (not including steve), glass breaking, minor injury, ptsd, anxiety, panic attack, little angst, crying, steve is so sweet, fluff, happy ending of course
word count: 2.1k
Sometime you felt like being with Steve was too good to be true. He was unlike anybody you’ve ever known. He was loyal and kind, always affectionate and respectful beyond words. He understood you in ways you weren’t even sure you did yourself.
As achingly sweet as he was, you practically lived in anxiety. It was like you were always waiting for the other shoe to drop. You waited, shoulders tense, for his kind hearted demeanor to finally switch on a day you upset him – maybe even only inconvenienced.
But he never did.
Steve never raised his voice – never raised his hand to you – he never dished out silent treatment when he was upset. He never demanded unrealistic expectations from you. He never asked you to change yourself or try to stuff you in a box.
It should’ve felt good. Safe.
It just made you feel more on edge. Like his inevitable blow up would be worse than anything your mind could have ever conjured up.
None of this was his fault, not even a little bit. You had your disgusting ex-boyfriend to thank for it. He was the one who littered your skin with bruises and wounds. He was the one who would kick you to the ground over and over and over again for saying the wrong thing at dinner. He was the one who told you you’d never deserve anything more than what he gave you.
And even though you were years out of it, and you did most of the work to unlearn every cruel word he instilled in your brain, it was hard to let it all go.
Steve knew about your past and not once did he let it affect the way he saw you. He didn’t see you as fragile or weak – he saw you for you. Strong willed and determined.
But was it really enough?
Today was Steve’s first day as head coach for the middle school baseball team. His promotion from elementary school to middle had been something he worked the past year for.
You couldn’t have been more proud of him but words didn’t feel like enough. So while he was at practice, you spent the day fixing up your shared apartment. You paid attention to every detail as you cleaned, you hung adorable baseball decorations around the room and you put every ounce of love into the dinner you made for him.
You had three pans across the stove at any given time, your fingers raw and numb from all the chopping. Your back ached from leaning over the stove but you knew it would all be worth it to see his face when he walked in.
He spent so much time making other people happy, you wanted to do the same for him.
Dinner was just about finished, you made him his favorite dish of yours – pot roast with some mashed potatoes and veggies on the side. The last thing was to plate it and fix the table.
In the cabinet, there was a set of beautiful glass dishes you and Steve were gifted by his mom. They were old china – beautifully hand painted with blue and white. You never had the chance to use them yet, but today felt like the perfect opportunity.
You carefully pulled two plates out and perfectly placed the food across the glass. You set his side of the table and then yours and with a quick glance at the clock, you had just enough time to yank your apron off to reveal the pretty red dress Steve bought you a few weeks ago.
Only a few minutes later, Steve walked through the door. Dressed in his blue and white coaching polo, paired with his khaki pants. His brown hair was floppy atop his head, his stubborn curl leaning over his forehead.
He looked tired – undoubtedly from the warm sun, but his eyes lit up the second they saw you. He gently shut the door behind him, but paused in the doorway as he took in the sight around him. The smell of food hit him first. His eyes danced around the room – taking in the decorations, the cleanliness, the beautiful table you set with candles and flowers alongside your dinner.
Then at you.
Your ridiculously gorgeous frame standing beside the table, wearing the dress he bought you. Your hands clasped in front of you, a shy smile ghosting on your lips.
“Hi Steve,” You murmured at him and he didn’t even try to bite back his grin.
“Hey baby,” He replied, finally finding his strength to move. He tossed his keys on the dish beside him and in a few short steps, he ended up right in front of you.
His hands found their home at your waist, his thumb stroking over the fabric there. Your arms follow, wrapping around his shoulders.
“What’s all this, hm?” His voice is so gentle and full of love. You smile up at him and quickly peck his lips before pulling away from him. You easily steer him to his seat across from you. You find your own seat immediately after, a smile still coating your mouth.
“This..” You gesture towards the plate in front of him. “Is to show you how proud I am of you, Steve. You worked so hard for your promotion and you’re gonna do great,”
Steve felt his chest warm with adoration as you stared at him. He was almost at a loss for words.
You were too damn sweet.
He smiled back at you and raised his hand across the table to grab yours.
“It’s beautiful baby, just like you,” His words make your cheeks heat up and he chuckles. “I love it honey, thank you.”
Your smile widens and you gesture towards the food “Now eat, it’s gonna get cold,”
Steve nods quickly, his hand slipping from yours to dig in. The two of you ate together, talking about how his first day went and how much he loved it already.
He told you about the kids on the team and some of the parents he was able to meet. He told you what he planned to focus on first with them and you could see that twinkle in his eye every time he talked about it.
It made your heart feel like it was going to burst.
When you finished dinner, you stood to gather the dishes but he stopped you before you could.
“Nuh-uh,” He hummed, rising to his feet and easily stealing the glasses from you. “I can do this,”
You frown up at him. “But it’s your day, Steve,”
He stacks the plates over each other, holding them with both hands as he presses a sweet kiss to your temple.
“You cooked all of this. The least I could do is wash the dishes,”
You fight back a smile as he walks further into the kitchen and to the sink. He places them down before his fingers begin to unbutton the sleeves of his shirt, carefully rolling them up to his elbow.
You bite your lip to suppress the grin threatening to make it’s appearance.
“Okay, but I can still help,” You declared. Steve says something from the sink that you can’t quite catch as you grab the drinking glasses from the table.
Both of them sit in each palm as you turn to walk back to the sink. What you didn’t account for was the chair pushed closer than you thought and before you can stop it, your foot catches on the wooden leg. Your knee buckles and in an attempt to keep yourself from falling, the cup slips from your grasp and shatters across the hardwood floor.
Your ears ring.
In an instant, you’re on your knees, huddled over the broken glass. Instinctively, your hands reach out to grab the pieces of glass as if you could somehow put it all back together before Steve turned around.
Suddenly, it was like you were no longer with Steve and instead, you were back in that awful house. You could feel your body trembling as your mind echoed with nasty thoughts, all by the sound of your ex boyfriend’s voice.
Look at what you did.
You can’t do anything right.
Do you even know how much that cost?
Your eyes stung with tears and your breathing hitched. This wasn’t just a cup – this was gorgeous art Steve was gifted by his mother and you ruined it.
You heard the sound of plates clattering in the sink and Steve’s footsteps getting closer.
This was it. This was when it was going to happen.
Your stomach was in knots as your hands quickly grabbed pieces of the glass. You couldn’t stop your hands from clenching around it but the fear pumping in your veins had you unable to feel the way it pierced your skin.
You could just barely see his shoes enter your vision. The sound of him calling your name was almost clouded.
“I’m – I’m so – I’m so sorry, Steve. It was an accident, I – I swear,” Your stuttering voice was all you could focus on.
Then Steve bent down and you physically braced for the impact. You didn’t really know what kind – from his hand, his shoe, his elbow – whatever he chose really.
But that didn’t happen. Of course not.
Steve gently wrapped his palms around your arms, pulling you upright until you were sitting in the chair furthest from the broken glass. Your hands still clutched the pieces tight, little specs of blood spilling from the sides.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Steve cooed, gingerly raising his palms to cup your cheeks. “Are you okay, baby? What happened?”
You don’t dare to meet his gaze. You keep your eyes locked on your trembling hands. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to break it. I’ll – I’ll fix it. I can – I can fix it,” You say frantically, tears streaming down your face in rapid succession.
Steve frowns and pulls your face upwards to face him. He says your name gently but firm. “Hey, I don’t care about the cup,”
Finally, you look up at him.
Your vision is clouded from the hot tears lining your eyes but you can see him. His face is twisted in confusion, his mouth pulled down into a frown and his eyes swirl with concern.
He looks almost relieved that you’re looking at him again.
“It’s just a cup, okay? It’s not a big deal,”
You shake your head, lip wobbling. “But it was from your mom. It was important and I – I broke it,” You sobbed.
Steve held you tighter. “Baby, breathe,” He says softly. “I promise you it’s okay. It was an accident.”
Your shoulders shake as more tears pour from you. Steve glances down at your hands and sees the way you’re clinging to the glass pieces. He mutters a curse before grabbing a wet towel and carefully forcing your fingers away from your palm.
He winces at the sight of your nicked skin and begins to clean up the skin. He keeps his eyes on his task as he begins to talk again.
“Baby, I need you to understand something,” His voice is firm but so tender. You blink through your tears and look back at him. “I will never hurt you, and I will never yell at you, especially not over a broken cup,”
Steve carefully plucks the pieces of glass out of your hold and throws them into the pile of the rest. He places the towel over your palm and uses both of his to interlace your fingers. His brown eyes meet yours.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, baby. Accidents happen and it’s okay to get scared but I want you to know that you never have to be afraid of me. You’re safe baby, I promise you that.”
By the time he finishes, a new wave of tears have washed over you but not from anxiety – from love. From the love you’re overwhelmed with for him. From the aching difference in the way he treats you than anybody else.
You want to believe him so much – you do believe him, even when it’s easy to fall back into your bad spot.
He looks up at you from where he kneels in front of you. He’s careful in his movements, hyperaware of anything they could set you off. You suck in a shaky breath and wrap your arms around his neck.
His arms wrap around you easily, caging you into him and his warmth. He whispers sweet things in your hair, lips grazing across your temple.
“I – I love you,” You whimper against the skin of his neck.
summary: you’ve lived your entire life without depending on anybody. steve harrington walked into your life ready to change that.
warnings: mayfield!reader, angst, little bit of arguing, canon violence, blood and bit of gore, avoidant issues to the max, she’s so stubborn, and lowkey mean, crying kiss and makeup, cursing, the kids <3,
word count: 6.7k
Early in life, you learned pretty quickly the only person you could depend on was yourself. Your parents were always too busy fighting each other to pay any attention to you and no matter how much you wanted someone to care for you and hold you in your hard times, nobody ever did.
You tucked yourself into bed. You soothed yourself after a nightmare. You took care of yourself and never let anyone see how much you ached for help.
Eventually, the ache dulled and you found some sort of sick comfort in having yourself. At least you never had to deal with disappointment.
Then your baby sister came along.
You were overwhelmed by the intense need to protect her from everything you weren’t. As you two grew up, you began to tuck her in, soothe her back to sleep, care for her every morning.
You distracted her when your parents argued and when their marriage finally met it’s inevitable end, you held her tight. Then, and without input from either of you, your mom moved you half way across the world to move in with her new husband and his step son.
It wasn’t so much the move that upset you. You couldn’t have cared less about California or being far from your dad – it was how much it upset Max.
Even though your mom promised it would be a fresh start, it wasn’t. Nothing good changed in Hawkins. Your mom and Neil fought just as much as your parents. You and Billy fought even worse than them. It was the exact reminder as to why you never depended on anybody.
And then Steve Harrington entered your life.
He was like a breath of fresh air entering your lungs. Floppy hair, charming eyes and a dizzying smile. You were a goner before he even said his name.
But admitting that was another story.
It was obvious by the time you came into town, he’d gone through a pretty messy breakup but whatever happened, it got him to clean up his act. He was right beside you when you and Max got roped into fighting monsters in the junkyard. He was there when Billy tried to attack you and Lucas in the Byers home. He was the one who pulled you into a plot of underground Russians and it was him who held you and Max after Billy died.
It took him a year to finally break through your walls, but he proved himself to you. It was Steve Harrington who proved that there was at least one person you could depend on. Steve told you he loved you first – even though you already knew – and surprising to everyone, you let him in.
Steve was yours and you were his.
But as good as it felt, you couldn’t let go of your bad habits. Grief and guilt tried to swallow you whole – mostly because you didn’t even actually care that Billy died and how could you feel like that over someone who’s supposed to be family?
You knew Steve would love you no matter what but the idea of letting him see the darkest parts of yourself? Leaving you bare and open to his scrutiny? It was terrifying. Slowly, you gave him pieces, enough to satisfy him, but you knew it wouldn’t be enough forever.
Steve was patient, incredibly so, and sometimes you wondered how long it would be before he realized you weren’t worth it.
Loving him came to you as easy as breathing did. Asking him for help? That felt humiliating. Like you were weak.
But soon, your mind wasn’t on yourself anymore. It was on Max and when you all got sucked into a reality where she was next on a monsters kill list?
Well, shit hit the fan.
You, Steve and the rest of the group form a circle in the Wheeler’s basement. It’s been three days since the random deaths started hitting the town and yesterday, Max told you all about the visions she’d been having.
Sneaking into the high school and watching the way her eyes clouded over and she drifted somewhere else, had your heart dropping to hell itself.
Your biggest fear was now happening right in front of you and you’ve never felt more helpless in your life.
You can hear Nancy talking about the plan for tonight and how the groups are supposed to be split up, but you’re not actually listening. You’re standing right next to Max, one hand resting over the side of her chair and itching to grab her instead.
You’ve barely been able to take your eyes off her for more than a few seconds all night – it’s like you’re afraid if you blink, she’ll be taken from you. Right now, it actually feels plausible.
It’s obvious to everyone, including her, just how much you’re hovering and you know it’s beginning to irritate her but you can’t find it in yourself to care even a little bit. This isn’t just you being an overprotective older sister – this is her life. You’ll be damned if you let anything happen to her.
Nancy calling your name pulls your attention from Max and you look up at her. “You’ll go with me, Steve and Robin to check out the site closest to the lab. We can’t risk anybody seeing Eddie, so he’ll stay with the kids,”
There’s not a moments hesitation when you speak. “I’m staying with Max.”
She glances around the others before she sighs. You can tell she wants to argue but she doesn’t. “Okay. Just me, Steve and Robin then. You guys have to check out the woods and make sure the gate already closed. If anybody hears anything, you radio it in, okay?” Her voice is full of conviction, something no one tries to challenge.
Everyone nods, except for Steve.
“Take Henderson,” He says. Your gaze flickers up to where he stands beside you. “I’ll stay with them instead,”
In all fairness, it’s a sweet gesture. The idea of Steve wanting to stay close to you and Max but lately, it’s all he’s been doing. Ever since Max’s depression hit its highest peak, you’ve been hovering her and Steve’s been hovering you.
You’ve tried to ignore the irritation that bubbles inside you every time he does it. It’s ironic really – he’s only doing to you, the exact thing you’re doing to Max, but she’s used to that with you. You’re still not used to it with Steve.
“You don’t have to come with us, Steve.” You interrupt carefully. “I can handle it alone,”
He frowns down at you. “I want to.”
You don’t respond before looking away and you let Nancy’s voice fill the silence you created. You can feel his eyes still on you but you don’t look back up at him.
A few minutes later and everyone has dispersed, quickly gathering their things to head out. You took the opportunity to pull Max aside.
“Hey,” You murmur, gently holding her arm. You’re staring at her adorably freckled face, your heart aching at the sight of the braid you put in her hair. “Are you sure you’re okay to do this? If you don’t want to, we can stay back and let them handle it.”
She groans and pulls away from you. “I told you, I’m fine. You’re treating me like a baby,”
Your mouth pulls down as you watch her fill her bag . “I don’t think you’re a baby, Max. I think this is a real problem and I..”You quickly grow irritated over the fact that she won’t look at you, busying herself with her bag. You grab her hand and force her gaze back on you. “Hey, I don’t want you getting hurt.”
She stares back at you, her expression unreadable. “If you don’t want me to get hurt, then stop babying me and let me figure this out.”
The tone in her voice takes you aback but before you can even respond, she rips her arm from your grasp and walks towards Lucas and follows everyone else upstairs.
Your shoulders deflate as you watch her leave.
Maybe she was right – maybe you were babying her, just a little, but what did she expect? This wasn’t just a game – it was her life on the line.
All you want is to protect her. To lock her somewhere safe, far away where nobody and nothing could ever hurt her. Instead, you’re stuck on a ticking time bomb to save her.
Suddenly, Steve appears in front of you and holds your arm the same way you held hers only minutes ago. His large hands circle your arms, his thumbs brushing over your skin.
He gives you a small smile. “Everything’s gonna be okay, baby,”
You glance up at him and sigh. “I’m not worried about me, Steve.” You pull away from his grasp and step around him to grab your jacket.
There’s a beat of silence.
“I know you’re not but I am,”
Your eyes flutter shut and you take a deep breath. You can feel the tension in your body begging to snap – at him.
“I don’t need you to babysit me, Steve.”
You see him step next to you out of your peripheral vision. “I’m not babysitting you, I’m – I’m trying to be there for you,”
You can hear the confusion in his voice and your heart tugs at the sound, but it’s not enough to reel in your annoyance.
Steve hasn’t taken his eyes off the side of your face and you don’t move to look at him. “You’re not though, you’re hovering. I don’t need you to coddle me, I need you to help me find this Vecna guy and save my sister.”
Your frustration has bled through your voice and Steve picks up on it in seconds.
His brows furrow and his mouth is turned down in a permanent frown. “I am trying to do that. What – what do you think I’ve been doing these past couple of days?” He pauses for a second and shifts on his feet, moving until he’s right in front of you. You still keep your eyes downward, fixated on snapping in every button of your jacket. “But baby, it’s not just Max I’m worried about. It’s you too, I can see the way it’s affecting you.”
Finally, your head snaps up at him, eyes blazing. “Of course it’s affecting me, Steve, she’s my sister! But you treating me like glass isn’t going to help. You’re not helping, you’re just - you’re just suffocating me!”
As soon as the words leave you, you feel overwhelmed with regret. And the look on his face? He looks devastated. You watch as his entire body stills and his shoulders tense. He take a step back, as if your words physically struck him.
Your lips part, almost like you’re ready to say something but nothing comes out. It’s completely silent.
You stand across from each other without a word, only the sound of uneven breathing surrounding you two.
Then, he shakes his head.
His eyes flicker away from you and he rakes his hand through his hair.
“Fine,” He starts. His voice is low and broken – you can hear the hidden anger beneath it. “If I’m suffocating you then fine. I can’t keep sitting here, trying to guess how to love you. You’re right – you’re better off alone.”
Steve doesn’t wait for you to respond before he’s walking away too, leaving you alone in the basement.
Your eyes burn and you can feel your throat tighten. It’s shame and regret and guilt hitting you all at once but there’s no taking it back. There’s no apology to fix it.
You had meant it – maybe not entirely – but you’re not used to the comfort Steve’s offering and instead of letting him help, you hurt him.
You hurt him.
You’ve never felt worse in your life.
A few minutes later, you made your own way upstairs and the only thing you could focus on was the way Steve completely avoided you.
He kept his back turned towards you while everyone filled Nancy’s car. The car ride was awkward to say the least. Nancy let him drive and instead of you taking the passenger seat beside him, Nancy sat there and you occupied the seat directly behind him and next to Max.
You hoped maybe his eyes would watch yours in the rear view mirror.
They didn’t.
Not once did he make eye contact or offer any comforting touches.
It wasn’t until then did you realize how much it actually helped you. Before, it felt like his touch was burning. Now, you yearned for it back.
It’s a painful twenty minute car ride and once you make it to the middle of the woods, everyone barrels out of the wagon. You all stand around in another circle, listening to Nancy talk about the meetup point. Everyone is ready to split up when Steve reaches down to grab the bag from her hand and begins passing out flashlights.
Your eyes are hopeful when he moves to hand you yours. He still hasn’t looked at you, instead keeping his eyes locked on the flashlight. Your fingers close around the object and you take a step closer to him, ready to try and initiate a conversation before you walk away but before you can, his grip drops and he brushes past you.
He was barely close enough for his shoulder to press against yours and you could smell his cologne as he passed you. Your heart ached as you turned around and watched him walk away – following Nancy further down the path of their own route.
But you don’t stop him.
Instead, you flip your flashlight on and walk in the opposite direction. Away from him.
It’s been nearly half an hour of walking towards the gate. The woods are dark and silent – save from the leaves rusting and crunching beneath your feet. You’re not sure if the way the wind whistles is from whatever could be lurking between the trees or to blame on nature.
Still, not once has your mind wandered from Steve.
From the argument, the look on his face, his words. You couldn’t blame him for what he said – you weren’t exactly nice with the things you said but it still stung to think about.
You always knew you didn’t make it easy for people to be around you – let alone love you but Steve did. He did wholeheartedly and unapologetically.
And what did you give him in return?
Basically a slap in the face.
It’s hardly a surprise he’s met his wits end with you.
Max quietly steps beside you, her footsteps matching your own. For a few seconds, you don’t really register her presence or the way she keeps side eyeing you.
“It’s okay to let someone in, you know.” She finally breaks the silence. “Like all the way,”
You glance up at her. Your response isn’t immediate – you’re not even truly sure how to respond.
You choose deflection.
“You’re one to talk,” You huff. “You broke up with Lucas a few months ago.”
Max rolls her eyes. “Yeah, and look where that got me,”
Your hand shoots out to grab her arm; forcing her to a halt. “Don’t joke about that,” You say firmly. “You’re going to be fine.”
She doesn’t flinch at your tone and she doesn’t pull away either. Your fingers tighten around her skin, as if her words were a declaration for someone to snatch her away.
She sighs quickly. “My point is I let my shit control me. I could’ve asked for help – Lucas spent months trying and all I did was push him away. This wouldn’t be happening if I just let him.”
Your eyes gloss over at the thought of her regretting the way she handled everything. She couldn’t have known.
“You don’t know that, Maxie,” You murmur and for once, she doesn’t bite your head off for calling her that.
Instead she shrugs and continues walking, letting you follow her. “Maybe not. But I do know if I make it out of this alive,” She looks away from you then and you follow to where her gaze lands on Lucas walking a few feet ahead of Dustin. “I’m going to fix it with Lucas because I love him and he loves me.” She looks back at you, a newfound sadness deep in her eyes. “And Steve really loves you. So get your shit together and stop pushing him away,”
Her words land exactly where she intended. Embedded deep beneath your ribs, stabbing through your heart. She was right – in every aspect.
If Steve was going to leave, he would’ve done so already, but he hasn’t. He’s held you through almost every ugly part of your life and still loves you with every ounce of himself.
And if you haven’t completely ruined everything between you two, you were going to fix it. Even if you didn’t deserve him.
You glance at Max from the corner of your eye. “You’re making it out of this alive by the way. Even if I have to burn the upside down to the ground myself.”
Max smirks at your words, even though you both catch the way your voice breaks. “Whatever you say.”
You and the kids keep walking further into the woods, so far until the trees begin to blend and you almost worry you won’t be able to find your way back.
You still haven’t found the gate and you’re ready to pull everyone back and retreat before Dustin suddenly springs upwards. He murmurs out a string of curses and spins in a circle.
“Henderson, I’m getting dizzy just looking at you. What’re you doing?” You grimace at the curly headed boy.
“The compass. It’s – it’s acting crazy. It’s pointing in every direction.” He distractedly responds. His face is pulled tight, brows furrowed and a frown plastered on his mouth.
“Maybe it’s broken?” Lucas asks. Dustin glares at him.
“I know how to take care of my things, Lucas,” He hissed. Lucas glares back harder.
“I didn’t say you didn’t, Dustin, but why else would it be going haywire?”
“I don’t know! That’s what I’m trying to figure out, asshole – ,”
“You’re the asshole!”
“No, you’re the – .”
Max cuts them off with an obnoxious groan.
“Are you two ladies finished?” She snaps. “If it’s not broken then that could mean the gate is near here. We need to try and find it, so stop your cat fight, alright?”
The two boys huff but ultimately listen.
The four of you walk in opposite directions, flashlights stuck to the ground as you inspect the floor for an opening. For a few minutes, the only sound around you is the branches snapping under your feet – everyone is quiet as they search for any evidence of the opening.
Suddenly, your light does catch something. Something red.
You move closer without thinking, but your steps are slow and careful. As you approach the sight, it almost looks like a cocoon reaching one tree, all the way across to the other. There’s dark, thick vine like branches surrounding what looks like the rift. The red flashes beam from beneath it, lighting up the dark woods around you.
But the closer you get, the worse it looks. It’s not just sitting there - it’s moving. The thin layer covering it pulses like a heart beats rhythm. Slowly, lean just a little closer.
Without looking away, you speak up. “Hey guys..” You start hesitantly. “I think – I think I found it,”
You know without looking the kids have wandered a little further than a few feet but still close enough to hear you. The sound of their distant voices fills the air around you.
“Are you sure?” Dustin’s voice rings out.
“I’m pretty sure,” You reply. You sink to the floor, squatting in front of the rift. “This isn’t something I’ve randomly come across bef– ,”
Suddenly, you’re cut off when one of the thick vines snaps through the cocoon like layer.
A fearful yelp tears from your throat and you jerk backwards, landing on your bottom against the hard ground. Your flashlight falls from your hand, rolling away and taking away any light you had before.
You hear the kids shout your name from far behind you and the sound of their footsteps rushing closer.
Your stomach sinks as you watch the vine slither across the ground and within seconds, wrap itself around your thigh. Even through your jeans, you can feel the cold and slippery skin of the vine – just before its hold tightens, tight enough to nearly cut off circulation.
Pain shoots from the skin of your thigh, traveling through every inch of your body. You don’t even have time to react before it yanks you across the dirt.
It’s white hot pain coursing through your veins, setting every nerve on fire. It feels like nails are sinking into your skin – almost like it has teeth it’s holding you by – as it drags you around. The pain is enough for a real scream to tear out of you this time.
The vine flips you around and your nails dig into the dirt of the forest, desperate to grab any leverage you can. Your skin fills with a hundred tiny cuts from branches and rocks digging into your skin as it pulls you across the floor.
Your legs kick with every movement of the vine in an attempt to break free but the more you struggle, the tighter its hold gets. You can’t suppress the cry that launches from your chest – the sound bouncing off the trees around you.
Your chest is pressed to the floor when you see the kids running to you but before they can reach you, it pulls you further down. Max screams your name and even through your pain, it’s enough to gather all your strength. The vine pulls you past a pile of leaves and rocks.
You barely have a second to think about it before your hand yanks the sharpest rock you find and you’re slamming it into the flesh like surface of the vine. You drive the sharpest point again, and again and again until it begins to squeal around your skin.
The grip slowly loosens but still tries to tug you further into the forest. You keep stabbing wildly, your vision clouded from pain and the dirt stuck to your face. Your arms burn from the movement until you strike directly at the top.
The rock slashes through the head of the vine, hard enough to slide right through its skin and pierce your own thigh.
The adrenaline coursing through your veins isn’t enough to mask the pain and you scream in agony at the feeling of the rock puncturing your skin.
Finally, the vine forces itself out from under the rock and slowly slithers back deep into the trees.
You’re gasping for breath, your entire body trembling as you drop the rock to the ground. Your gaze drops down to your thigh.
Blood soaks your jeans and you can see the way your thigh shakes from pain. Gingerly, your hands grasp the skin of your thigh, trying to apply pressure but your hands quickly stain from the blood.
The kids finally reach you and Max sinks to the ground beneath you, launching herself around you. You catch her as best you can with one arm, the other pressed firm against your wound.
“Oh thank God!” She cries. You groan in pain – from both her bone crushing hug and your leg.
The boys shine their lights over you two, both letting out a sigh of relief until they catch sight of your leg.
“Holy shit,” Dustin gasps. You wince, breath shuddering.
“It’s – it’s not as bad as it looks,” You force out through your teeth. Max pulls away and looks at your legs next.
“Are you kidding me?” She exclaims. “You’re literally gushing blood – that’s as bad as it gets!”
“Max, calm down,” You mutter and it only pisses her off more.
“Don’t tell me to calm down! That could’ve killed you,”
“Yeah except it didn’t,” You bite back.
You take a deep breath and swallow down a cry as you try to push yourself up. Lucas quickly drops beside you, arms slipping under your arms to help you up.
You wince at the pain shooting from your thigh, up to your chest, but you try to hide it. The last thing you want is for them to panic. Dustin appears in front of you.
He says your name carefully. “Your leg looks really bad, okay? We have to call –.”
You cut him off. “I’m fine, Dustin.” He looks ready to argue but you cut him off. “Is that a favorite shirt?”
The boy glances down at his shirt, brows pulled tight. “What? No, not really. It’s just –.”
This time, you cut him off by yanking the bottom towards you and tearing a long piece.
“Hey – what the hell!” He shouts, eyes wide.
Your only response is a groan as you wrap the fabric around your cut, tying a knot tight enough to burn. Max quickly pulls your arm around your waist, holding you from falling. There’s a muffled cry in your throat as you feel more blood slide down your leg but the makeshift tourniquet will have to do for now.
“I said I’m fine,” You breathe out, one arm sliding across Max’s shoulders. “We can’t just sit here and wait for someone to find us, alright? It’s too dangerous out here,”
Despite the pain filling your body, your voice is firm and unyielding. The three kids look up at you and silence fills the air for a few moments before they all nod, murmuring agreements towards you.
The four of you begin to move forward together, back in the direction of the meetup point. Max holds onto you – one arm snaked around your waist and the other holding your hand draped over her shoulder. Lucas walks behind you two, carefully looking in every direction for any sign of danger. Dustin walks ahead of you all, flashlight beaming in front of him as he tries to make contact with the radio.
“I repeat – this is a code red. We are in dire need of rescue and we need a response!” His angry voice rings through the trees. “Nancy? Steve? Anybody? Damnit!” He shouts.
You wince at the shrill sound. Everything around you feels heightened – the pain in your leg, the way your blood soaked jeans cling to your skin, the way blood continues to pour out of your cut and into your shoe.
“We’re too deep in the woods, Dustin. The chances of getting a signal are slim,” Lucas points out behind you.
The walk towards the gate felt long enough but now, it feels endless. It feels like you’re walking in circles – every tree looks the same and every time you think you’re almost to the end, you’re met with the same sight of never ending darkness ahead of you.
“How much further?” Max asks, her hold around your waist tightening.
Your face twists in pain but you stay quiet.
“I don’t think it’s that far anymore. We passed this hill like ten minutes after we started walking,” Dustin says.
It should give you some hope but you don’t think you have ten minutes of walking left in you.
You look at Max and you can see the complete fear covering her face. A sight you haven’t seen since Billy attacked the group back at Starcourt last year. It kills you.
You can’t give up now. It’s not about you. She’s depending on you – they all are. Getting them back to safety is all that matters, no matter what.
Despite your mind telling you to keep pushing through the pain, your leg has decided it’s had enough. Before you even realize it’s happening, your knee buckles beneath you and you slip from Max’s hold.
A sharp gasp slips past your lips as you crash into the floor. Your knees smack against the ground, a shattering feeling shooting up to your wound. Your hands barely catch you in time, the sticks and rocks digging into the skin of your palm.
Max’s hand miss as they shoot out to catch you. Lucas appears next to you in the blink of an eye and the three kids huddle around you.
Max says your name tearfully. “You can’t keep going, we – we have to wait here,”
“We can’t,” You grit out. “It’s not safe out here for you guys, I can – I can keep going, I just need a min-minute,”
The kids all glance at each other before Dustin speaks up.
“Okay, you guys stay here with her. I’m gonna walk further down, see if I can reach them on the walkie,”
“No!” You try to manage your firmest tone but your voice cracks right down the middle. “Henderson, you’re not going alone. I can walk.”
You brace your palms against the ground and try to push up. Your elbows wobble beneath you and you barely make it into an upright kneeling position before they give out beneath you.
You cry out in pain but this time, Max catches you.
“Lucas, go with him. I’ll stay here with her.” She orders.
“I said no!” You shout but the boys don’t listen to you this time. They walk a few feet further away, Dustin’s voice echoing through the woods as he calls out their names.
“Stop it!” Max snaps. “You’re no help if you’re dead, alright! We need the others,”
Tears prick your eyes as her words settle in your chest.
Not from the pain but from frustration.
You were supposed to protect her. All of them.
Instead, you’re kneeling in dirt, grime and a pool of your own blood. Instead, you’re relying on three teenagers to take care of you.
The only thing you’re grateful for is the fact that you can still see the boys when you finally hear Nancy’s voice fills the air too.
“Dus – Dustin?” Her voice cracks over the static. You watch the way the boys practically jump for joy at the sound of her voice and you can feel Max’s body loosen just barely beside you.
“Oh thank fuck!” Dustin curses over the radio. “Nancy, we need help. We found the gate but Y/N, she’s – she’s hurt really bad.”
“What hap-happened?”
The cracks over the radio prove how weak the signal is and you worry you’re about to lose it entirely.
“It was like, a vine from the damn rift. I don’t – I don’t know but it’s bad, she can’t walk,” He explains.
The reminder of what happened has your face twisting. The way Dustin sounds explaining to Nancy how you got hurt – like you can’t handle things. Like you’re weak. It’s irrational, it really is but it’s all you can focus on.
Max notices the pained look on your face and the way your breathing turns uneven. She shifts to kneel in front of you and pulls your gaze towards her.
“What do you need?” She asks softly.
Your lip wobbles as you look at her.
Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it.
“I – I want Steve,” You choke out. Her eyes soften immediately and she squeezes your hands before turning her head.
“She wants Steve!” She shouts to the boys. They both look over at where you both kneel on the ground and Dustin quickly locks in.
“Where’s Steve? She’s asking for Steve,” He relays over the walkie.
There’s a beat of silence.
And then you hear him.
“Dustin! I’m right here. What happened? Where is she?”
Steve.
His voice is loud and frantic, almost like he’s too close to the speaker. It’s hard to understand him completely and you can feel your eyes get heavier as Dustin gives him a quick rundown of what happened.
“I’m coming.” His voice cracks through the line.
It’s two simple words, but it’s enough to bring you to tears.
You will them back with every bit of strength you have left. You already feel weak enough – actually crying in front of your baby sister will kill you before your wound ever can.
You try not to focus on the way embarrassment slowly begins to creep up on you but it’s hard not to feel it. Because Steve is coming and he’s going to see you – covered in blood and tears, helpless and exposed.
But as overwhelming as that feels, you also feel relief.
Because Steve is coming back to you.
As much as you fought against admitting it, all you want is him. You want to be wrapped in his arms, buried in his chest, and surrounded by his warmth.
You just want him.
It’s barely five minutes before you can hear his voice shouting in the distance.
He’s calling out for you – your name echoing through the air and off the trees. Your chest aches at the sound of his voice so close.
Finally, you see his flashlight through the trees a few feet in front of you and then you see him. He appears from between the trees, his eyes wide and frantic. He lands on Dustin first, the light flickering from him, to where you kneel on the ground.
The second his eyes land on you, he’s rushing towards you. He’s within arms reach in seconds and he drops to his knees in front of you, the flashlight long forgotten at his side.
“Hey, hey, hey,” He whispers, carefully pulling you from Max’s hold. His eyes lock on the blood seeping from your thigh. “You’re gonna be okay, baby,” He nods. “Where does it hurt?”
Your lips part to answer but the words get caught in your throat.
The sight of him in front of you again – his puppy dog brown eyes wide with concern for you. His gentle voice soothing you. The warmth of his skin radiating from his body to yours.
Your resolve breaks.
Thick and hot tears slide down your cheeks, dripping down your face and soaking your neck. Your arms reach out to grab him and he doesn’t even hesitate.
Steve meets you half way and you collapse into his chest. Your shoulders shake as you finally let yourself feel it all. You feel the pain of your cut and the pain of accepting help.
His arms wrap tightly around your body, holding you just as tight as you hold him. Your fists clutch the back of his jacket so hard you can hear your nails scratching the leather. You bury your face into his neck, soaking his skin in tears. He whispers gentle reassurances against your hair.
Your body wracks with sobs and not a single part of you cares about the others around you. You don’t care that they’re watching you two. You don’t care if you look weak. All you care about is Steve.
“I got you baby, I got you,” He murmurs. Carefully, Steve shifts so he can slide one arm around your back and the other beneath your knees. He moves to stand and pull you with him, settling over his arms.
You cry out from the pain of your leg bending, eyes squeezing shut and your fingers tighten their grip on his shoulders.
“I know baby, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” He soothes. “I just gotta get you out of here, okay?”
You nod timidly, breath shuddering as you try to calm yourself down. Steve doesn’t wait for anyone else before carrying you through the woods and back towards the car. He holds you as if you weigh nothing and turns what should’ve been a ten minute walk into a four minute one.
The second the car is in view, Max runs to open the back door for Steve. He easily slides in, still holding you in his arms and settles against the window of the wagon. He holds you in his lap, your arms still wrapped around his neck and your head tucked under his chin.
Everyone quickly jumps into the car and before anyone can even buckle, Nancy is peeling off the gravel and onto the main road.
Steve holds you tight to his chest the entire car ride and you don’t miss the way his eyes keep falling back to your leg.
“I’m – I’m sorry,” You whimper against his skin. Steve shakes his head.
“Don’t apologize baby, it’s okay. Everything’s okay, I promise,” He reassures you.
Steve does his best to keep you conscious even as your eyelids grow heavy and begin to drop. Nancy breaks multiple speeding laws getting back to her house and when you finally make it back, he quickly pulls you out of the car and onto the extra bed they pulled into the basement.
Steve holds your hand the entire time Nancy cleans your leg. You were right before – as bad as it was, it definitely looked worse than it was. You squeezed his hand every time the antiseptic burned against your skin and he gently wiped your tears with his thumb.
He whispered sweet reassurances into your ears, planting gentle kisses to your face every time you winced in pain. Nancy managed to clean and dress the wound fairly quickly and once she finished, she steered everyone back upstairs to give you space.
Exhaustion has embedded itself deep in your bones and you gather all your strength to keep looking at Steve. He’s kneeling on the side of the bed, one hand stroking your hair and the other laced with yours.
He looks completely content just watching you for the rest of the night but your guilt hasn’t subsided even a bit.
“Steve,” You whisper so softly, he would’ve missed it if he wasn’t so hyperaware of you.
“What is it, baby?”
Your wide eyes stare up at him. “I’m sorry,”
Tears line your eyes again, hot and unyielding, and your lip wobbles. His eyes soften at you and he moves to lay beside you instead. He settles beside you, carefully pulling you into his chest.
“You don’t have to –.”
“Yes I do,” You interrupt. Your voice is slow, but he lets you talk. “I didn’t – I didn’t mean it, Steve, I swear. I was just scared. I’ve only ever needed Max and now it just feels like I’m losing her and I was scared if I admitted I needed you, I would lose you too,” You confess, tears staining your cheeks.
His face twists in pain at the sight of you crying. He raises his hand to cup your cheek. “I didn’t mean what I said either,” He begins. “About you being better off alone. I was angry and I tried to hurt you back but it wasn’t true baby, not for a second. I’m sorry,”
His thumb glides across the skin of your cheek. You lean into his touch, brows pulled tight.
“I don’t want to be alone anymore, Steve.”
He nods, his eyes glossing over. “You’re not baby, you have me,”
You stare up at him and every instinct to shut him out disappears. “I need you, Steve. More than anything and I don’t ever want to lose you,”
He exhales sharply. “You will never lose me, okay? I swear to you. It doesn’t matter what’s going on – you’ll have me until the end of fucking time, baby,”
Without another word, you bury yourself back in his chest and cling to him like second skin.
For twenty years, you convinced yourself you didn’t need anybody else. You convinced yourself that accepting help meant admitting failure. But now, as you lay against Steve’s chest – completely bare and vulnerable to him – fully allowing him to take care of you, it all changed.
You finally admitted that you needed him and the world didn't end. He kept his promise. He was here, and he always would be.
summary: every terrible memory comes rushing back to you after you accidentally break one of steve’s plates.
warnings: mentions of past abuse, domestic abuse (not including steve), glass breaking, minor injury, ptsd, anxiety, panic attack, little angst, crying, steve is so sweet, fluff, happy ending of course
word count: 2.1k
Sometime you felt like being with Steve was too good to be true. He was unlike anybody you’ve ever known. He was loyal and kind, always affectionate and respectful beyond words. He understood you in ways you weren’t even sure you did yourself.
As achingly sweet as he was, you practically lived in anxiety. It was like you were always waiting for the other shoe to drop. You waited, shoulders tense, for his kind hearted demeanor to finally switch on a day you upset him – maybe even only inconvenienced.
But he never did.
Steve never raised his voice – never raised his hand to you – he never dished out silent treatment when he was upset. He never demanded unrealistic expectations from you. He never asked you to change yourself or try to stuff you in a box.
It should’ve felt good. Safe.
It just made you feel more on edge. Like his inevitable blow up would be worse than anything your mind could have ever conjured up.
None of this was his fault, not even a little bit. You had your disgusting ex-boyfriend to thank for it. He was the one who littered your skin with bruises and wounds. He was the one who would kick you to the ground over and over and over again for saying the wrong thing at dinner. He was the one who told you you’d never deserve anything more than what he gave you.
And even though you were years out of it, and you did most of the work to unlearn every cruel word he instilled in your brain, it was hard to let it all go.
Steve knew about your past and not once did he let it affect the way he saw you. He didn’t see you as fragile or weak – he saw you for you. Strong willed and determined.
But was it really enough?
Today was Steve’s first day as head coach for the middle school baseball team. His promotion from elementary school to middle had been something he worked the past year for.
You couldn’t have been more proud of him but words didn’t feel like enough. So while he was at practice, you spent the day fixing up your shared apartment. You paid attention to every detail as you cleaned, you hung adorable baseball decorations around the room and you put every ounce of love into the dinner you made for him.
You had three pans across the stove at any given time, your fingers raw and numb from all the chopping. Your back ached from leaning over the stove but you knew it would all be worth it to see his face when he walked in.
He spent so much time making other people happy, you wanted to do the same for him.
Dinner was just about finished, you made him his favorite dish of yours – pot roast with some mashed potatoes and veggies on the side. The last thing was to plate it and fix the table.
In the cabinet, there was a set of beautiful glass dishes you and Steve were gifted by his mom. They were old china – beautifully hand painted with blue and white. You never had the chance to use them yet, but today felt like the perfect opportunity.
You carefully pulled two plates out and perfectly placed the food across the glass. You set his side of the table and then yours and with a quick glance at the clock, you had just enough time to yank your apron off to reveal the pretty red dress Steve bought you a few weeks ago.
Only a few minutes later, Steve walked through the door. Dressed in his blue and white coaching polo, paired with his khaki pants. His brown hair was floppy atop his head, his stubborn curl leaning over his forehead.
He looked tired – undoubtedly from the warm sun, but his eyes lit up the second they saw you. He gently shut the door behind him, but paused in the doorway as he took in the sight around him. The smell of food hit him first. His eyes danced around the room – taking in the decorations, the cleanliness, the beautiful table you set with candles and flowers alongside your dinner.
Then at you.
Your ridiculously gorgeous frame standing beside the table, wearing the dress he bought you. Your hands clasped in front of you, a shy smile ghosting on your lips.
“Hi Steve,” You murmured at him and he didn’t even try to bite back his grin.
“Hey baby,” He replied, finally finding his strength to move. He tossed his keys on the dish beside him and in a few short steps, he ended up right in front of you.
His hands found their home at your waist, his thumb stroking over the fabric there. Your arms follow, wrapping around his shoulders.
“What’s all this, hm?” His voice is so gentle and full of love. You smile up at him and quickly peck his lips before pulling away from him. You easily steer him to his seat across from you. You find your own seat immediately after, a smile still coating your mouth.
“This..” You gesture towards the plate in front of him. “Is to show you how proud I am of you, Steve. You worked so hard for your promotion and you’re gonna do great,”
Steve felt his chest warm with adoration as you stared at him. He was almost at a loss for words.
You were too damn sweet.
He smiled back at you and raised his hand across the table to grab yours.
“It’s beautiful baby, just like you,” His words make your cheeks heat up and he chuckles. “I love it honey, thank you.”
Your smile widens and you gesture towards the food “Now eat, it’s gonna get cold,”
Steve nods quickly, his hand slipping from yours to dig in. The two of you ate together, talking about how his first day went and how much he loved it already.
He told you about the kids on the team and some of the parents he was able to meet. He told you what he planned to focus on first with them and you could see that twinkle in his eye every time he talked about it.
It made your heart feel like it was going to burst.
When you finished dinner, you stood to gather the dishes but he stopped you before you could.
“Nuh-uh,” He hummed, rising to his feet and easily stealing the glasses from you. “I can do this,”
You frown up at him. “But it’s your day, Steve,”
He stacks the plates over each other, holding them with both hands as he presses a sweet kiss to your temple.
“You cooked all of this. The least I could do is wash the dishes,”
You fight back a smile as he walks further into the kitchen and to the sink. He places them down before his fingers begin to unbutton the sleeves of his shirt, carefully rolling them up to his elbow.
You bite your lip to suppress the grin threatening to make it’s appearance.
“Okay, but I can still help,” You declared. Steve says something from the sink that you can’t quite catch as you grab the drinking glasses from the table.
Both of them sit in each palm as you turn to walk back to the sink. What you didn’t account for was the chair pushed closer than you thought and before you can stop it, your foot catches on the wooden leg. Your knee buckles and in an attempt to keep yourself from falling, the cup slips from your grasp and shatters across the hardwood floor.
Your ears ring.
In an instant, you’re on your knees, huddled over the broken glass. Instinctively, your hands reach out to grab the pieces of glass as if you could somehow put it all back together before Steve turned around.
Suddenly, it was like you were no longer with Steve and instead, you were back in that awful house. You could feel your body trembling as your mind echoed with nasty thoughts, all by the sound of your ex boyfriend’s voice.
Look at what you did.
You can’t do anything right.
Do you even know how much that cost?
Your eyes stung with tears and your breathing hitched. This wasn’t just a cup – this was gorgeous art Steve was gifted by his mother and you ruined it.
You heard the sound of plates clattering in the sink and Steve’s footsteps getting closer.
This was it. This was when it was going to happen.
Your stomach was in knots as your hands quickly grabbed pieces of the glass. You couldn’t stop your hands from clenching around it but the fear pumping in your veins had you unable to feel the way it pierced your skin.
You could just barely see his shoes enter your vision. The sound of him calling your name was almost clouded.
“I’m – I’m so – I’m so sorry, Steve. It was an accident, I – I swear,” Your stuttering voice was all you could focus on.
Then Steve bent down and you physically braced for the impact. You didn’t really know what kind – from his hand, his shoe, his elbow – whatever he chose really.
But that didn’t happen. Of course not.
Steve gently wrapped his palms around your arms, pulling you upright until you were sitting in the chair furthest from the broken glass. Your hands still clutched the pieces tight, little specs of blood spilling from the sides.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Steve cooed, gingerly raising his palms to cup your cheeks. “Are you okay, baby? What happened?”
You don’t dare to meet his gaze. You keep your eyes locked on your trembling hands. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to break it. I’ll – I’ll fix it. I can – I can fix it,” You say frantically, tears streaming down your face in rapid succession.
Steve frowns and pulls your face upwards to face him. He says your name gently but firm. “Hey, I don’t care about the cup,”
Finally, you look up at him.
Your vision is clouded from the hot tears lining your eyes but you can see him. His face is twisted in confusion, his mouth pulled down into a frown and his eyes swirl with concern.
He looks almost relieved that you’re looking at him again.
“It’s just a cup, okay? It’s not a big deal,”
You shake your head, lip wobbling. “But it was from your mom. It was important and I – I broke it,” You sobbed.
Steve held you tighter. “Baby, breathe,” He says softly. “I promise you it’s okay. It was an accident.”
Your shoulders shake as more tears pour from you. Steve glances down at your hands and sees the way you’re clinging to the glass pieces. He mutters a curse before grabbing a wet towel and carefully forcing your fingers away from your palm.
He winces at the sight of your nicked skin and begins to clean up the skin. He keeps his eyes on his task as he begins to talk again.
“Baby, I need you to understand something,” His voice is firm but so tender. You blink through your tears and look back at him. “I will never hurt you, and I will never yell at you, especially not over a broken cup,”
Steve carefully plucks the pieces of glass out of your hold and throws them into the pile of the rest. He places the towel over your palm and uses both of his to interlace your fingers. His brown eyes meet yours.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, baby. Accidents happen and it’s okay to get scared but I want you to know that you never have to be afraid of me. You’re safe baby, I promise you that.”
By the time he finishes, a new wave of tears have washed over you but not from anxiety – from love. From the love you’re overwhelmed with for him. From the aching difference in the way he treats you than anybody else.
You want to believe him so much – you do believe him, even when it’s easy to fall back into your bad spot.
He looks up at you from where he kneels in front of you. He’s careful in his movements, hyperaware of anything they could set you off. You suck in a shaky breath and wrap your arms around his neck.
His arms wrap around you easily, caging you into him and his warmth. He whispers sweet things in your hair, lips grazing across your temple.
“I – I love you,” You whimper against the skin of his neck.
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summary: you’ve lived your entire life without depending on anybody. steve harrington walked into your life ready to change that.
warnings: mayfield!reader, angst, little bit of arguing, canon violence, blood and bit of gore, avoidant issues to the max, she’s so stubborn, and lowkey mean, crying kiss and makeup, cursing, the kids <3,
word count: 6.7k
Early in life, you learned pretty quickly the only person you could depend on was yourself. Your parents were always too busy fighting each other to pay any attention to you and no matter how much you wanted someone to care for you and hold you in your hard times, nobody ever did.
You tucked yourself into bed. You soothed yourself after a nightmare. You took care of yourself and never let anyone see how much you ached for help.
Eventually, the ache dulled and you found some sort of sick comfort in having yourself. At least you never had to deal with disappointment.
Then your baby sister came along.
You were overwhelmed by the intense need to protect her from everything you weren’t. As you two grew up, you began to tuck her in, soothe her back to sleep, care for her every morning.
You distracted her when your parents argued and when their marriage finally met it’s inevitable end, you held her tight. Then, and without input from either of you, your mom moved you half way across the world to move in with her new husband and his step son.
It wasn’t so much the move that upset you. You couldn’t have cared less about California or being far from your dad – it was how much it upset Max.
Even though your mom promised it would be a fresh start, it wasn’t. Nothing good changed in Hawkins. Your mom and Neil fought just as much as your parents. You and Billy fought even worse than them. It was the exact reminder as to why you never depended on anybody.
And then Steve Harrington entered your life.
He was like a breath of fresh air entering your lungs. Floppy hair, charming eyes and a dizzying smile. You were a goner before he even said his name.
But admitting that was another story.
It was obvious by the time you came into town, he’d gone through a pretty messy breakup but whatever happened, it got him to clean up his act. He was right beside you when you and Max got roped into fighting monsters in the junkyard. He was there when Billy tried to attack you and Lucas in the Byers home. He was the one who pulled you into a plot of underground Russians and it was him who held you and Max after Billy died.
It took him a year to finally break through your walls, but he proved himself to you. It was Steve Harrington who proved that there was at least one person you could depend on. Steve told you he loved you first – even though you already knew – and surprising to everyone, you let him in.
Steve was yours and you were his.
But as good as it felt, you couldn’t let go of your bad habits. Grief and guilt tried to swallow you whole – mostly because you didn’t even actually care that Billy died and how could you feel like that over someone who’s supposed to be family?
You knew Steve would love you no matter what but the idea of letting him see the darkest parts of yourself? Leaving you bare and open to his scrutiny? It was terrifying. Slowly, you gave him pieces, enough to satisfy him, but you knew it wouldn’t be enough forever.
Steve was patient, incredibly so, and sometimes you wondered how long it would be before he realized you weren’t worth it.
Loving him came to you as easy as breathing did. Asking him for help? That felt humiliating. Like you were weak.
But soon, your mind wasn’t on yourself anymore. It was on Max and when you all got sucked into a reality where she was next on a monsters kill list?
Well, shit hit the fan.
You, Steve and the rest of the group form a circle in the Wheeler’s basement. It’s been three days since the random deaths started hitting the town and yesterday, Max told you all about the visions she’d been having.
Sneaking into the high school and watching the way her eyes clouded over and she drifted somewhere else, had your heart dropping to hell itself.
Your biggest fear was now happening right in front of you and you’ve never felt more helpless in your life.
You can hear Nancy talking about the plan for tonight and how the groups are supposed to be split up, but you’re not actually listening. You’re standing right next to Max, one hand resting over the side of her chair and itching to grab her instead.
You’ve barely been able to take your eyes off her for more than a few seconds all night – it’s like you’re afraid if you blink, she’ll be taken from you. Right now, it actually feels plausible.
It’s obvious to everyone, including her, just how much you’re hovering and you know it’s beginning to irritate her but you can’t find it in yourself to care even a little bit. This isn’t just you being an overprotective older sister – this is her life. You’ll be damned if you let anything happen to her.
Nancy calling your name pulls your attention from Max and you look up at her. “You’ll go with me, Steve and Robin to check out the site closest to the lab. We can’t risk anybody seeing Eddie, so he’ll stay with the kids,”
There’s not a moments hesitation when you speak. “I’m staying with Max.”
She glances around the others before she sighs. You can tell she wants to argue but she doesn’t. “Okay. Just me, Steve and Robin then. You guys have to check out the woods and make sure the gate already closed. If anybody hears anything, you radio it in, okay?” Her voice is full of conviction, something no one tries to challenge.
Everyone nods, except for Steve.
“Take Henderson,” He says. Your gaze flickers up to where he stands beside you. “I’ll stay with them instead,”
In all fairness, it’s a sweet gesture. The idea of Steve wanting to stay close to you and Max but lately, it’s all he’s been doing. Ever since Max’s depression hit its highest peak, you’ve been hovering her and Steve’s been hovering you.
You’ve tried to ignore the irritation that bubbles inside you every time he does it. It’s ironic really – he’s only doing to you, the exact thing you’re doing to Max, but she’s used to that with you. You’re still not used to it with Steve.
“You don’t have to come with us, Steve.” You interrupt carefully. “I can handle it alone,”
He frowns down at you. “I want to.”
You don’t respond before looking away and you let Nancy’s voice fill the silence you created. You can feel his eyes still on you but you don’t look back up at him.
A few minutes later and everyone has dispersed, quickly gathering their things to head out. You took the opportunity to pull Max aside.
“Hey,” You murmur, gently holding her arm. You’re staring at her adorably freckled face, your heart aching at the sight of the braid you put in her hair. “Are you sure you’re okay to do this? If you don’t want to, we can stay back and let them handle it.”
She groans and pulls away from you. “I told you, I’m fine. You’re treating me like a baby,”
Your mouth pulls down as you watch her fill her bag . “I don’t think you’re a baby, Max. I think this is a real problem and I..”You quickly grow irritated over the fact that she won’t look at you, busying herself with her bag. You grab her hand and force her gaze back on you. “Hey, I don’t want you getting hurt.”
She stares back at you, her expression unreadable. “If you don’t want me to get hurt, then stop babying me and let me figure this out.”
The tone in her voice takes you aback but before you can even respond, she rips her arm from your grasp and walks towards Lucas and follows everyone else upstairs.
Your shoulders deflate as you watch her leave.
Maybe she was right – maybe you were babying her, just a little, but what did she expect? This wasn’t just a game – it was her life on the line.
All you want is to protect her. To lock her somewhere safe, far away where nobody and nothing could ever hurt her. Instead, you’re stuck on a ticking time bomb to save her.
Suddenly, Steve appears in front of you and holds your arm the same way you held hers only minutes ago. His large hands circle your arms, his thumbs brushing over your skin.
He gives you a small smile. “Everything’s gonna be okay, baby,”
You glance up at him and sigh. “I’m not worried about me, Steve.” You pull away from his grasp and step around him to grab your jacket.
There’s a beat of silence.
“I know you’re not but I am,”
Your eyes flutter shut and you take a deep breath. You can feel the tension in your body begging to snap – at him.
“I don’t need you to babysit me, Steve.”
You see him step next to you out of your peripheral vision. “I’m not babysitting you, I’m – I’m trying to be there for you,”
You can hear the confusion in his voice and your heart tugs at the sound, but it’s not enough to reel in your annoyance.
Steve hasn’t taken his eyes off the side of your face and you don’t move to look at him. “You’re not though, you’re hovering. I don’t need you to coddle me, I need you to help me find this Vecna guy and save my sister.”
Your frustration has bled through your voice and Steve picks up on it in seconds.
His brows furrow and his mouth is turned down in a permanent frown. “I am trying to do that. What – what do you think I’ve been doing these past couple of days?” He pauses for a second and shifts on his feet, moving until he’s right in front of you. You still keep your eyes downward, fixated on snapping in every button of your jacket. “But baby, it’s not just Max I’m worried about. It’s you too, I can see the way it’s affecting you.”
Finally, your head snaps up at him, eyes blazing. “Of course it’s affecting me, Steve, she’s my sister! But you treating me like glass isn’t going to help. You’re not helping, you’re just - you’re just suffocating me!”
As soon as the words leave you, you feel overwhelmed with regret. And the look on his face? He looks devastated. You watch as his entire body stills and his shoulders tense. He take a step back, as if your words physically struck him.
Your lips part, almost like you’re ready to say something but nothing comes out. It’s completely silent.
You stand across from each other without a word, only the sound of uneven breathing surrounding you two.
Then, he shakes his head.
His eyes flicker away from you and he rakes his hand through his hair.
“Fine,” He starts. His voice is low and broken – you can hear the hidden anger beneath it. “If I’m suffocating you then fine. I can’t keep sitting here, trying to guess how to love you. You’re right – you’re better off alone.”
Steve doesn’t wait for you to respond before he’s walking away too, leaving you alone in the basement.
Your eyes burn and you can feel your throat tighten. It’s shame and regret and guilt hitting you all at once but there’s no taking it back. There’s no apology to fix it.
You had meant it – maybe not entirely – but you’re not used to the comfort Steve’s offering and instead of letting him help, you hurt him.
You hurt him.
You’ve never felt worse in your life.
A few minutes later, you made your own way upstairs and the only thing you could focus on was the way Steve completely avoided you.
He kept his back turned towards you while everyone filled Nancy’s car. The car ride was awkward to say the least. Nancy let him drive and instead of you taking the passenger seat beside him, Nancy sat there and you occupied the seat directly behind him and next to Max.
You hoped maybe his eyes would watch yours in the rear view mirror.
They didn’t.
Not once did he make eye contact or offer any comforting touches.
It wasn’t until then did you realize how much it actually helped you. Before, it felt like his touch was burning. Now, you yearned for it back.
It’s a painful twenty minute car ride and once you make it to the middle of the woods, everyone barrels out of the wagon. You all stand around in another circle, listening to Nancy talk about the meetup point. Everyone is ready to split up when Steve reaches down to grab the bag from her hand and begins passing out flashlights.
Your eyes are hopeful when he moves to hand you yours. He still hasn’t looked at you, instead keeping his eyes locked on the flashlight. Your fingers close around the object and you take a step closer to him, ready to try and initiate a conversation before you walk away but before you can, his grip drops and he brushes past you.
He was barely close enough for his shoulder to press against yours and you could smell his cologne as he passed you. Your heart ached as you turned around and watched him walk away – following Nancy further down the path of their own route.
But you don’t stop him.
Instead, you flip your flashlight on and walk in the opposite direction. Away from him.
It’s been nearly half an hour of walking towards the gate. The woods are dark and silent – save from the leaves rusting and crunching beneath your feet. You’re not sure if the way the wind whistles is from whatever could be lurking between the trees or to blame on nature.
Still, not once has your mind wandered from Steve.
From the argument, the look on his face, his words. You couldn’t blame him for what he said – you weren’t exactly nice with the things you said but it still stung to think about.
You always knew you didn’t make it easy for people to be around you – let alone love you but Steve did. He did wholeheartedly and unapologetically.
And what did you give him in return?
Basically a slap in the face.
It’s hardly a surprise he’s met his wits end with you.
Max quietly steps beside you, her footsteps matching your own. For a few seconds, you don’t really register her presence or the way she keeps side eyeing you.
“It’s okay to let someone in, you know.” She finally breaks the silence. “Like all the way,”
You glance up at her. Your response isn’t immediate – you’re not even truly sure how to respond.
You choose deflection.
“You’re one to talk,” You huff. “You broke up with Lucas a few months ago.”
Max rolls her eyes. “Yeah, and look where that got me,”
Your hand shoots out to grab her arm; forcing her to a halt. “Don’t joke about that,” You say firmly. “You’re going to be fine.”
She doesn’t flinch at your tone and she doesn’t pull away either. Your fingers tighten around her skin, as if her words were a declaration for someone to snatch her away.
She sighs quickly. “My point is I let my shit control me. I could’ve asked for help – Lucas spent months trying and all I did was push him away. This wouldn’t be happening if I just let him.”
Your eyes gloss over at the thought of her regretting the way she handled everything. She couldn’t have known.
“You don’t know that, Maxie,” You murmur and for once, she doesn’t bite your head off for calling her that.
Instead she shrugs and continues walking, letting you follow her. “Maybe not. But I do know if I make it out of this alive,” She looks away from you then and you follow to where her gaze lands on Lucas walking a few feet ahead of Dustin. “I’m going to fix it with Lucas because I love him and he loves me.” She looks back at you, a newfound sadness deep in her eyes. “And Steve really loves you. So get your shit together and stop pushing him away,”
Her words land exactly where she intended. Embedded deep beneath your ribs, stabbing through your heart. She was right – in every aspect.
If Steve was going to leave, he would’ve done so already, but he hasn’t. He’s held you through almost every ugly part of your life and still loves you with every ounce of himself.
And if you haven’t completely ruined everything between you two, you were going to fix it. Even if you didn’t deserve him.
You glance at Max from the corner of your eye. “You’re making it out of this alive by the way. Even if I have to burn the upside down to the ground myself.”
Max smirks at your words, even though you both catch the way your voice breaks. “Whatever you say.”
You and the kids keep walking further into the woods, so far until the trees begin to blend and you almost worry you won’t be able to find your way back.
You still haven’t found the gate and you’re ready to pull everyone back and retreat before Dustin suddenly springs upwards. He murmurs out a string of curses and spins in a circle.
“Henderson, I’m getting dizzy just looking at you. What’re you doing?” You grimace at the curly headed boy.
“The compass. It’s – it’s acting crazy. It’s pointing in every direction.” He distractedly responds. His face is pulled tight, brows furrowed and a frown plastered on his mouth.
“Maybe it’s broken?” Lucas asks. Dustin glares at him.
“I know how to take care of my things, Lucas,” He hissed. Lucas glares back harder.
“I didn’t say you didn’t, Dustin, but why else would it be going haywire?”
“I don’t know! That’s what I’m trying to figure out, asshole – ,”
“You’re the asshole!”
“No, you’re the – .”
Max cuts them off with an obnoxious groan.
“Are you two ladies finished?” She snaps. “If it’s not broken then that could mean the gate is near here. We need to try and find it, so stop your cat fight, alright?”
The two boys huff but ultimately listen.
The four of you walk in opposite directions, flashlights stuck to the ground as you inspect the floor for an opening. For a few minutes, the only sound around you is the branches snapping under your feet – everyone is quiet as they search for any evidence of the opening.
Suddenly, your light does catch something. Something red.
You move closer without thinking, but your steps are slow and careful. As you approach the sight, it almost looks like a cocoon reaching one tree, all the way across to the other. There’s dark, thick vine like branches surrounding what looks like the rift. The red flashes beam from beneath it, lighting up the dark woods around you.
But the closer you get, the worse it looks. It’s not just sitting there - it’s moving. The thin layer covering it pulses like a heart beats rhythm. Slowly, lean just a little closer.
Without looking away, you speak up. “Hey guys..” You start hesitantly. “I think – I think I found it,”
You know without looking the kids have wandered a little further than a few feet but still close enough to hear you. The sound of their distant voices fills the air around you.
“Are you sure?” Dustin’s voice rings out.
“I’m pretty sure,” You reply. You sink to the floor, squatting in front of the rift. “This isn’t something I’ve randomly come across bef– ,”
Suddenly, you’re cut off when one of the thick vines snaps through the cocoon like layer.
A fearful yelp tears from your throat and you jerk backwards, landing on your bottom against the hard ground. Your flashlight falls from your hand, rolling away and taking away any light you had before.
You hear the kids shout your name from far behind you and the sound of their footsteps rushing closer.
Your stomach sinks as you watch the vine slither across the ground and within seconds, wrap itself around your thigh. Even through your jeans, you can feel the cold and slippery skin of the vine – just before its hold tightens, tight enough to nearly cut off circulation.
Pain shoots from the skin of your thigh, traveling through every inch of your body. You don’t even have time to react before it yanks you across the dirt.
It’s white hot pain coursing through your veins, setting every nerve on fire. It feels like nails are sinking into your skin – almost like it has teeth it’s holding you by – as it drags you around. The pain is enough for a real scream to tear out of you this time.
The vine flips you around and your nails dig into the dirt of the forest, desperate to grab any leverage you can. Your skin fills with a hundred tiny cuts from branches and rocks digging into your skin as it pulls you across the floor.
Your legs kick with every movement of the vine in an attempt to break free but the more you struggle, the tighter its hold gets. You can’t suppress the cry that launches from your chest – the sound bouncing off the trees around you.
Your chest is pressed to the floor when you see the kids running to you but before they can reach you, it pulls you further down. Max screams your name and even through your pain, it’s enough to gather all your strength. The vine pulls you past a pile of leaves and rocks.
You barely have a second to think about it before your hand yanks the sharpest rock you find and you’re slamming it into the flesh like surface of the vine. You drive the sharpest point again, and again and again until it begins to squeal around your skin.
The grip slowly loosens but still tries to tug you further into the forest. You keep stabbing wildly, your vision clouded from pain and the dirt stuck to your face. Your arms burn from the movement until you strike directly at the top.
The rock slashes through the head of the vine, hard enough to slide right through its skin and pierce your own thigh.
The adrenaline coursing through your veins isn’t enough to mask the pain and you scream in agony at the feeling of the rock puncturing your skin.
Finally, the vine forces itself out from under the rock and slowly slithers back deep into the trees.
You’re gasping for breath, your entire body trembling as you drop the rock to the ground. Your gaze drops down to your thigh.
Blood soaks your jeans and you can see the way your thigh shakes from pain. Gingerly, your hands grasp the skin of your thigh, trying to apply pressure but your hands quickly stain from the blood.
The kids finally reach you and Max sinks to the ground beneath you, launching herself around you. You catch her as best you can with one arm, the other pressed firm against your wound.
“Oh thank God!” She cries. You groan in pain – from both her bone crushing hug and your leg.
The boys shine their lights over you two, both letting out a sigh of relief until they catch sight of your leg.
“Holy shit,” Dustin gasps. You wince, breath shuddering.
“It’s – it’s not as bad as it looks,” You force out through your teeth. Max pulls away and looks at your legs next.
“Are you kidding me?” She exclaims. “You’re literally gushing blood – that’s as bad as it gets!”
“Max, calm down,” You mutter and it only pisses her off more.
“Don’t tell me to calm down! That could’ve killed you,”
“Yeah except it didn’t,” You bite back.
You take a deep breath and swallow down a cry as you try to push yourself up. Lucas quickly drops beside you, arms slipping under your arms to help you up.
You wince at the pain shooting from your thigh, up to your chest, but you try to hide it. The last thing you want is for them to panic. Dustin appears in front of you.
He says your name carefully. “Your leg looks really bad, okay? We have to call –.”
You cut him off. “I’m fine, Dustin.” He looks ready to argue but you cut him off. “Is that a favorite shirt?”
The boy glances down at his shirt, brows pulled tight. “What? No, not really. It’s just –.”
This time, you cut him off by yanking the bottom towards you and tearing a long piece.
“Hey – what the hell!” He shouts, eyes wide.
Your only response is a groan as you wrap the fabric around your cut, tying a knot tight enough to burn. Max quickly pulls your arm around your waist, holding you from falling. There’s a muffled cry in your throat as you feel more blood slide down your leg but the makeshift tourniquet will have to do for now.
“I said I’m fine,” You breathe out, one arm sliding across Max’s shoulders. “We can’t just sit here and wait for someone to find us, alright? It’s too dangerous out here,”
Despite the pain filling your body, your voice is firm and unyielding. The three kids look up at you and silence fills the air for a few moments before they all nod, murmuring agreements towards you.
The four of you begin to move forward together, back in the direction of the meetup point. Max holds onto you – one arm snaked around your waist and the other holding your hand draped over her shoulder. Lucas walks behind you two, carefully looking in every direction for any sign of danger. Dustin walks ahead of you all, flashlight beaming in front of him as he tries to make contact with the radio.
“I repeat – this is a code red. We are in dire need of rescue and we need a response!” His angry voice rings through the trees. “Nancy? Steve? Anybody? Damnit!” He shouts.
You wince at the shrill sound. Everything around you feels heightened – the pain in your leg, the way your blood soaked jeans cling to your skin, the way blood continues to pour out of your cut and into your shoe.
“We’re too deep in the woods, Dustin. The chances of getting a signal are slim,” Lucas points out behind you.
The walk towards the gate felt long enough but now, it feels endless. It feels like you’re walking in circles – every tree looks the same and every time you think you’re almost to the end, you’re met with the same sight of never ending darkness ahead of you.
“How much further?” Max asks, her hold around your waist tightening.
Your face twists in pain but you stay quiet.
“I don’t think it’s that far anymore. We passed this hill like ten minutes after we started walking,” Dustin says.
It should give you some hope but you don’t think you have ten minutes of walking left in you.
You look at Max and you can see the complete fear covering her face. A sight you haven’t seen since Billy attacked the group back at Starcourt last year. It kills you.
You can’t give up now. It’s not about you. She’s depending on you – they all are. Getting them back to safety is all that matters, no matter what.
Despite your mind telling you to keep pushing through the pain, your leg has decided it’s had enough. Before you even realize it’s happening, your knee buckles beneath you and you slip from Max’s hold.
A sharp gasp slips past your lips as you crash into the floor. Your knees smack against the ground, a shattering feeling shooting up to your wound. Your hands barely catch you in time, the sticks and rocks digging into the skin of your palm.
Max’s hand miss as they shoot out to catch you. Lucas appears next to you in the blink of an eye and the three kids huddle around you.
Max says your name tearfully. “You can’t keep going, we – we have to wait here,”
“We can’t,” You grit out. “It’s not safe out here for you guys, I can – I can keep going, I just need a min-minute,”
The kids all glance at each other before Dustin speaks up.
“Okay, you guys stay here with her. I’m gonna walk further down, see if I can reach them on the walkie,”
“No!” You try to manage your firmest tone but your voice cracks right down the middle. “Henderson, you’re not going alone. I can walk.”
You brace your palms against the ground and try to push up. Your elbows wobble beneath you and you barely make it into an upright kneeling position before they give out beneath you.
You cry out in pain but this time, Max catches you.
“Lucas, go with him. I’ll stay here with her.” She orders.
“I said no!” You shout but the boys don’t listen to you this time. They walk a few feet further away, Dustin’s voice echoing through the woods as he calls out their names.
“Stop it!” Max snaps. “You’re no help if you’re dead, alright! We need the others,”
Tears prick your eyes as her words settle in your chest.
Not from the pain but from frustration.
You were supposed to protect her. All of them.
Instead, you’re kneeling in dirt, grime and a pool of your own blood. Instead, you’re relying on three teenagers to take care of you.
The only thing you’re grateful for is the fact that you can still see the boys when you finally hear Nancy’s voice fills the air too.
“Dus – Dustin?” Her voice cracks over the static. You watch the way the boys practically jump for joy at the sound of her voice and you can feel Max’s body loosen just barely beside you.
“Oh thank fuck!” Dustin curses over the radio. “Nancy, we need help. We found the gate but Y/N, she’s – she’s hurt really bad.”
“What hap-happened?”
The cracks over the radio prove how weak the signal is and you worry you’re about to lose it entirely.
“It was like, a vine from the damn rift. I don’t – I don’t know but it’s bad, she can’t walk,” He explains.
The reminder of what happened has your face twisting. The way Dustin sounds explaining to Nancy how you got hurt – like you can’t handle things. Like you’re weak. It’s irrational, it really is but it’s all you can focus on.
Max notices the pained look on your face and the way your breathing turns uneven. She shifts to kneel in front of you and pulls your gaze towards her.
“What do you need?” She asks softly.
Your lip wobbles as you look at her.
Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it.
“I – I want Steve,” You choke out. Her eyes soften immediately and she squeezes your hands before turning her head.
“She wants Steve!” She shouts to the boys. They both look over at where you both kneel on the ground and Dustin quickly locks in.
“Where’s Steve? She’s asking for Steve,” He relays over the walkie.
There’s a beat of silence.
And then you hear him.
“Dustin! I’m right here. What happened? Where is she?”
Steve.
His voice is loud and frantic, almost like he’s too close to the speaker. It’s hard to understand him completely and you can feel your eyes get heavier as Dustin gives him a quick rundown of what happened.
“I’m coming.” His voice cracks through the line.
It’s two simple words, but it’s enough to bring you to tears.
You will them back with every bit of strength you have left. You already feel weak enough – actually crying in front of your baby sister will kill you before your wound ever can.
You try not to focus on the way embarrassment slowly begins to creep up on you but it’s hard not to feel it. Because Steve is coming and he’s going to see you – covered in blood and tears, helpless and exposed.
But as overwhelming as that feels, you also feel relief.
Because Steve is coming back to you.
As much as you fought against admitting it, all you want is him. You want to be wrapped in his arms, buried in his chest, and surrounded by his warmth.
You just want him.
It’s barely five minutes before you can hear his voice shouting in the distance.
He’s calling out for you – your name echoing through the air and off the trees. Your chest aches at the sound of his voice so close.
Finally, you see his flashlight through the trees a few feet in front of you and then you see him. He appears from between the trees, his eyes wide and frantic. He lands on Dustin first, the light flickering from him, to where you kneel on the ground.
The second his eyes land on you, he’s rushing towards you. He’s within arms reach in seconds and he drops to his knees in front of you, the flashlight long forgotten at his side.
“Hey, hey, hey,” He whispers, carefully pulling you from Max’s hold. His eyes lock on the blood seeping from your thigh. “You’re gonna be okay, baby,” He nods. “Where does it hurt?”
Your lips part to answer but the words get caught in your throat.
The sight of him in front of you again – his puppy dog brown eyes wide with concern for you. His gentle voice soothing you. The warmth of his skin radiating from his body to yours.
Your resolve breaks.
Thick and hot tears slide down your cheeks, dripping down your face and soaking your neck. Your arms reach out to grab him and he doesn’t even hesitate.
Steve meets you half way and you collapse into his chest. Your shoulders shake as you finally let yourself feel it all. You feel the pain of your cut and the pain of accepting help.
His arms wrap tightly around your body, holding you just as tight as you hold him. Your fists clutch the back of his jacket so hard you can hear your nails scratching the leather. You bury your face into his neck, soaking his skin in tears. He whispers gentle reassurances against your hair.
Your body wracks with sobs and not a single part of you cares about the others around you. You don’t care that they’re watching you two. You don’t care if you look weak. All you care about is Steve.
“I got you baby, I got you,” He murmurs. Carefully, Steve shifts so he can slide one arm around your back and the other beneath your knees. He moves to stand and pull you with him, settling over his arms.
You cry out from the pain of your leg bending, eyes squeezing shut and your fingers tighten their grip on his shoulders.
“I know baby, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” He soothes. “I just gotta get you out of here, okay?”
You nod timidly, breath shuddering as you try to calm yourself down. Steve doesn’t wait for anyone else before carrying you through the woods and back towards the car. He holds you as if you weigh nothing and turns what should’ve been a ten minute walk into a four minute one.
The second the car is in view, Max runs to open the back door for Steve. He easily slides in, still holding you in his arms and settles against the window of the wagon. He holds you in his lap, your arms still wrapped around his neck and your head tucked under his chin.
Everyone quickly jumps into the car and before anyone can even buckle, Nancy is peeling off the gravel and onto the main road.
Steve holds you tight to his chest the entire car ride and you don’t miss the way his eyes keep falling back to your leg.
“I’m – I’m sorry,” You whimper against his skin. Steve shakes his head.
“Don’t apologize baby, it’s okay. Everything’s okay, I promise,” He reassures you.
Steve does his best to keep you conscious even as your eyelids grow heavy and begin to drop. Nancy breaks multiple speeding laws getting back to her house and when you finally make it back, he quickly pulls you out of the car and onto the extra bed they pulled into the basement.
Steve holds your hand the entire time Nancy cleans your leg. You were right before – as bad as it was, it definitely looked worse than it was. You squeezed his hand every time the antiseptic burned against your skin and he gently wiped your tears with his thumb.
He whispered sweet reassurances into your ears, planting gentle kisses to your face every time you winced in pain. Nancy managed to clean and dress the wound fairly quickly and once she finished, she steered everyone back upstairs to give you space.
Exhaustion has embedded itself deep in your bones and you gather all your strength to keep looking at Steve. He’s kneeling on the side of the bed, one hand stroking your hair and the other laced with yours.
He looks completely content just watching you for the rest of the night but your guilt hasn’t subsided even a bit.
“Steve,” You whisper so softly, he would’ve missed it if he wasn’t so hyperaware of you.
“What is it, baby?”
Your wide eyes stare up at him. “I’m sorry,”
Tears line your eyes again, hot and unyielding, and your lip wobbles. His eyes soften at you and he moves to lay beside you instead. He settles beside you, carefully pulling you into his chest.
“You don’t have to –.”
“Yes I do,” You interrupt. Your voice is slow, but he lets you talk. “I didn’t – I didn’t mean it, Steve, I swear. I was just scared. I’ve only ever needed Max and now it just feels like I’m losing her and I was scared if I admitted I needed you, I would lose you too,” You confess, tears staining your cheeks.
His face twists in pain at the sight of you crying. He raises his hand to cup your cheek. “I didn’t mean what I said either,” He begins. “About you being better off alone. I was angry and I tried to hurt you back but it wasn’t true baby, not for a second. I’m sorry,”
His thumb glides across the skin of your cheek. You lean into his touch, brows pulled tight.
“I don’t want to be alone anymore, Steve.”
He nods, his eyes glossing over. “You’re not baby, you have me,”
You stare up at him and every instinct to shut him out disappears. “I need you, Steve. More than anything and I don’t ever want to lose you,”
He exhales sharply. “You will never lose me, okay? I swear to you. It doesn’t matter what’s going on – you’ll have me until the end of fucking time, baby,”
Without another word, you bury yourself back in his chest and cling to him like second skin.
For twenty years, you convinced yourself you didn’t need anybody else. You convinced yourself that accepting help meant admitting failure. But now, as you lay against Steve’s chest – completely bare and vulnerable to him – fully allowing him to take care of you, it all changed.
You finally admitted that you needed him and the world didn't end. He kept his promise. He was here, and he always would be.
summary: you’ve lived your entire life without depending on anybody. steve harrington walked into your life ready to change that.
warnings: mayfield!reader, angst, little bit of arguing, canon violence, blood and bit of gore, avoidant issues to the max, she’s so stubborn, and lowkey mean, crying kiss and makeup, cursing, the kids <3,
word count: 6.7k
Early in life, you learned pretty quickly the only person you could depend on was yourself. Your parents were always too busy fighting each other to pay any attention to you and no matter how much you wanted someone to care for you and hold you in your hard times, nobody ever did.
You tucked yourself into bed. You soothed yourself after a nightmare. You took care of yourself and never let anyone see how much you ached for help.
Eventually, the ache dulled and you found some sort of sick comfort in having yourself. At least you never had to deal with disappointment.
Then your baby sister came along.
You were overwhelmed by the intense need to protect her from everything you weren’t. As you two grew up, you began to tuck her in, soothe her back to sleep, care for her every morning.
You distracted her when your parents argued and when their marriage finally met it’s inevitable end, you held her tight. Then, and without input from either of you, your mom moved you half way across the world to move in with her new husband and his step son.
It wasn’t so much the move that upset you. You couldn’t have cared less about California or being far from your dad – it was how much it upset Max.
Even though your mom promised it would be a fresh start, it wasn’t. Nothing good changed in Hawkins. Your mom and Neil fought just as much as your parents. You and Billy fought even worse than them. It was the exact reminder as to why you never depended on anybody.
And then Steve Harrington entered your life.
He was like a breath of fresh air entering your lungs. Floppy hair, charming eyes and a dizzying smile. You were a goner before he even said his name.
But admitting that was another story.
It was obvious by the time you came into town, he’d gone through a pretty messy breakup but whatever happened, it got him to clean up his act. He was right beside you when you and Max got roped into fighting monsters in the junkyard. He was there when Billy tried to attack you and Lucas in the Byers home. He was the one who pulled you into a plot of underground Russians and it was him who held you and Max after Billy died.
It took him a year to finally break through your walls, but he proved himself to you. It was Steve Harrington who proved that there was at least one person you could depend on. Steve told you he loved you first – even though you already knew – and surprising to everyone, you let him in.
Steve was yours and you were his.
But as good as it felt, you couldn’t let go of your bad habits. Grief and guilt tried to swallow you whole – mostly because you didn’t even actually care that Billy died and how could you feel like that over someone who’s supposed to be family?
You knew Steve would love you no matter what but the idea of letting him see the darkest parts of yourself? Leaving you bare and open to his scrutiny? It was terrifying. Slowly, you gave him pieces, enough to satisfy him, but you knew it wouldn’t be enough forever.
Steve was patient, incredibly so, and sometimes you wondered how long it would be before he realized you weren’t worth it.
Loving him came to you as easy as breathing did. Asking him for help? That felt humiliating. Like you were weak.
But soon, your mind wasn’t on yourself anymore. It was on Max and when you all got sucked into a reality where she was next on a monsters kill list?
Well, shit hit the fan.
You, Steve and the rest of the group form a circle in the Wheeler’s basement. It’s been three days since the random deaths started hitting the town and yesterday, Max told you all about the visions she’d been having.
Sneaking into the high school and watching the way her eyes clouded over and she drifted somewhere else, had your heart dropping to hell itself.
Your biggest fear was now happening right in front of you and you’ve never felt more helpless in your life.
You can hear Nancy talking about the plan for tonight and how the groups are supposed to be split up, but you’re not actually listening. You’re standing right next to Max, one hand resting over the side of her chair and itching to grab her instead.
You’ve barely been able to take your eyes off her for more than a few seconds all night – it’s like you’re afraid if you blink, she’ll be taken from you. Right now, it actually feels plausible.
It’s obvious to everyone, including her, just how much you’re hovering and you know it’s beginning to irritate her but you can’t find it in yourself to care even a little bit. This isn’t just you being an overprotective older sister – this is her life. You’ll be damned if you let anything happen to her.
Nancy calling your name pulls your attention from Max and you look up at her. “You’ll go with me, Steve and Robin to check out the site closest to the lab. We can’t risk anybody seeing Eddie, so he’ll stay with the kids,”
There’s not a moments hesitation when you speak. “I’m staying with Max.”
She glances around the others before she sighs. You can tell she wants to argue but she doesn’t. “Okay. Just me, Steve and Robin then. You guys have to check out the woods and make sure the gate already closed. If anybody hears anything, you radio it in, okay?” Her voice is full of conviction, something no one tries to challenge.
Everyone nods, except for Steve.
“Take Henderson,” He says. Your gaze flickers up to where he stands beside you. “I’ll stay with them instead,”
In all fairness, it’s a sweet gesture. The idea of Steve wanting to stay close to you and Max but lately, it’s all he’s been doing. Ever since Max’s depression hit its highest peak, you’ve been hovering her and Steve’s been hovering you.
You’ve tried to ignore the irritation that bubbles inside you every time he does it. It’s ironic really – he’s only doing to you, the exact thing you’re doing to Max, but she’s used to that with you. You’re still not used to it with Steve.
“You don’t have to come with us, Steve.” You interrupt carefully. “I can handle it alone,”
He frowns down at you. “I want to.”
You don’t respond before looking away and you let Nancy’s voice fill the silence you created. You can feel his eyes still on you but you don’t look back up at him.
A few minutes later and everyone has dispersed, quickly gathering their things to head out. You took the opportunity to pull Max aside.
“Hey,” You murmur, gently holding her arm. You’re staring at her adorably freckled face, your heart aching at the sight of the braid you put in her hair. “Are you sure you’re okay to do this? If you don’t want to, we can stay back and let them handle it.”
She groans and pulls away from you. “I told you, I’m fine. You’re treating me like a baby,”
Your mouth pulls down as you watch her fill her bag . “I don’t think you’re a baby, Max. I think this is a real problem and I..”You quickly grow irritated over the fact that she won’t look at you, busying herself with her bag. You grab her hand and force her gaze back on you. “Hey, I don’t want you getting hurt.”
She stares back at you, her expression unreadable. “If you don’t want me to get hurt, then stop babying me and let me figure this out.”
The tone in her voice takes you aback but before you can even respond, she rips her arm from your grasp and walks towards Lucas and follows everyone else upstairs.
Your shoulders deflate as you watch her leave.
Maybe she was right – maybe you were babying her, just a little, but what did she expect? This wasn’t just a game – it was her life on the line.
All you want is to protect her. To lock her somewhere safe, far away where nobody and nothing could ever hurt her. Instead, you’re stuck on a ticking time bomb to save her.
Suddenly, Steve appears in front of you and holds your arm the same way you held hers only minutes ago. His large hands circle your arms, his thumbs brushing over your skin.
He gives you a small smile. “Everything’s gonna be okay, baby,”
You glance up at him and sigh. “I’m not worried about me, Steve.” You pull away from his grasp and step around him to grab your jacket.
There’s a beat of silence.
“I know you’re not but I am,”
Your eyes flutter shut and you take a deep breath. You can feel the tension in your body begging to snap – at him.
“I don’t need you to babysit me, Steve.”
You see him step next to you out of your peripheral vision. “I’m not babysitting you, I’m – I’m trying to be there for you,”
You can hear the confusion in his voice and your heart tugs at the sound, but it’s not enough to reel in your annoyance.
Steve hasn’t taken his eyes off the side of your face and you don’t move to look at him. “You’re not though, you’re hovering. I don’t need you to coddle me, I need you to help me find this Vecna guy and save my sister.”
Your frustration has bled through your voice and Steve picks up on it in seconds.
His brows furrow and his mouth is turned down in a permanent frown. “I am trying to do that. What – what do you think I’ve been doing these past couple of days?” He pauses for a second and shifts on his feet, moving until he’s right in front of you. You still keep your eyes downward, fixated on snapping in every button of your jacket. “But baby, it’s not just Max I’m worried about. It’s you too, I can see the way it’s affecting you.”
Finally, your head snaps up at him, eyes blazing. “Of course it’s affecting me, Steve, she’s my sister! But you treating me like glass isn’t going to help. You’re not helping, you’re just - you’re just suffocating me!”
As soon as the words leave you, you feel overwhelmed with regret. And the look on his face? He looks devastated. You watch as his entire body stills and his shoulders tense. He take a step back, as if your words physically struck him.
Your lips part, almost like you’re ready to say something but nothing comes out. It’s completely silent.
You stand across from each other without a word, only the sound of uneven breathing surrounding you two.
Then, he shakes his head.
His eyes flicker away from you and he rakes his hand through his hair.
“Fine,” He starts. His voice is low and broken – you can hear the hidden anger beneath it. “If I’m suffocating you then fine. I can’t keep sitting here, trying to guess how to love you. You’re right – you’re better off alone.”
Steve doesn’t wait for you to respond before he’s walking away too, leaving you alone in the basement.
Your eyes burn and you can feel your throat tighten. It’s shame and regret and guilt hitting you all at once but there’s no taking it back. There’s no apology to fix it.
You had meant it – maybe not entirely – but you’re not used to the comfort Steve’s offering and instead of letting him help, you hurt him.
You hurt him.
You’ve never felt worse in your life.
A few minutes later, you made your own way upstairs and the only thing you could focus on was the way Steve completely avoided you.
He kept his back turned towards you while everyone filled Nancy’s car. The car ride was awkward to say the least. Nancy let him drive and instead of you taking the passenger seat beside him, Nancy sat there and you occupied the seat directly behind him and next to Max.
You hoped maybe his eyes would watch yours in the rear view mirror.
They didn’t.
Not once did he make eye contact or offer any comforting touches.
It wasn’t until then did you realize how much it actually helped you. Before, it felt like his touch was burning. Now, you yearned for it back.
It’s a painful twenty minute car ride and once you make it to the middle of the woods, everyone barrels out of the wagon. You all stand around in another circle, listening to Nancy talk about the meetup point. Everyone is ready to split up when Steve reaches down to grab the bag from her hand and begins passing out flashlights.
Your eyes are hopeful when he moves to hand you yours. He still hasn’t looked at you, instead keeping his eyes locked on the flashlight. Your fingers close around the object and you take a step closer to him, ready to try and initiate a conversation before you walk away but before you can, his grip drops and he brushes past you.
He was barely close enough for his shoulder to press against yours and you could smell his cologne as he passed you. Your heart ached as you turned around and watched him walk away – following Nancy further down the path of their own route.
But you don’t stop him.
Instead, you flip your flashlight on and walk in the opposite direction. Away from him.
It’s been nearly half an hour of walking towards the gate. The woods are dark and silent – save from the leaves rusting and crunching beneath your feet. You’re not sure if the way the wind whistles is from whatever could be lurking between the trees or to blame on nature.
Still, not once has your mind wandered from Steve.
From the argument, the look on his face, his words. You couldn’t blame him for what he said – you weren’t exactly nice with the things you said but it still stung to think about.
You always knew you didn’t make it easy for people to be around you – let alone love you but Steve did. He did wholeheartedly and unapologetically.
And what did you give him in return?
Basically a slap in the face.
It’s hardly a surprise he’s met his wits end with you.
Max quietly steps beside you, her footsteps matching your own. For a few seconds, you don’t really register her presence or the way she keeps side eyeing you.
“It’s okay to let someone in, you know.” She finally breaks the silence. “Like all the way,”
You glance up at her. Your response isn’t immediate – you’re not even truly sure how to respond.
You choose deflection.
“You’re one to talk,” You huff. “You broke up with Lucas a few months ago.”
Max rolls her eyes. “Yeah, and look where that got me,”
Your hand shoots out to grab her arm; forcing her to a halt. “Don’t joke about that,” You say firmly. “You’re going to be fine.”
She doesn’t flinch at your tone and she doesn’t pull away either. Your fingers tighten around her skin, as if her words were a declaration for someone to snatch her away.
She sighs quickly. “My point is I let my shit control me. I could’ve asked for help – Lucas spent months trying and all I did was push him away. This wouldn’t be happening if I just let him.”
Your eyes gloss over at the thought of her regretting the way she handled everything. She couldn’t have known.
“You don’t know that, Maxie,” You murmur and for once, she doesn’t bite your head off for calling her that.
Instead she shrugs and continues walking, letting you follow her. “Maybe not. But I do know if I make it out of this alive,” She looks away from you then and you follow to where her gaze lands on Lucas walking a few feet ahead of Dustin. “I’m going to fix it with Lucas because I love him and he loves me.” She looks back at you, a newfound sadness deep in her eyes. “And Steve really loves you. So get your shit together and stop pushing him away,”
Her words land exactly where she intended. Embedded deep beneath your ribs, stabbing through your heart. She was right – in every aspect.
If Steve was going to leave, he would’ve done so already, but he hasn’t. He’s held you through almost every ugly part of your life and still loves you with every ounce of himself.
And if you haven’t completely ruined everything between you two, you were going to fix it. Even if you didn’t deserve him.
You glance at Max from the corner of your eye. “You’re making it out of this alive by the way. Even if I have to burn the upside down to the ground myself.”
Max smirks at your words, even though you both catch the way your voice breaks. “Whatever you say.”
You and the kids keep walking further into the woods, so far until the trees begin to blend and you almost worry you won’t be able to find your way back.
You still haven’t found the gate and you’re ready to pull everyone back and retreat before Dustin suddenly springs upwards. He murmurs out a string of curses and spins in a circle.
“Henderson, I’m getting dizzy just looking at you. What’re you doing?” You grimace at the curly headed boy.
“The compass. It’s – it’s acting crazy. It’s pointing in every direction.” He distractedly responds. His face is pulled tight, brows furrowed and a frown plastered on his mouth.
“Maybe it’s broken?” Lucas asks. Dustin glares at him.
“I know how to take care of my things, Lucas,” He hissed. Lucas glares back harder.
“I didn’t say you didn’t, Dustin, but why else would it be going haywire?”
“I don’t know! That’s what I’m trying to figure out, asshole – ,”
“You’re the asshole!”
“No, you’re the – .”
Max cuts them off with an obnoxious groan.
“Are you two ladies finished?” She snaps. “If it’s not broken then that could mean the gate is near here. We need to try and find it, so stop your cat fight, alright?”
The two boys huff but ultimately listen.
The four of you walk in opposite directions, flashlights stuck to the ground as you inspect the floor for an opening. For a few minutes, the only sound around you is the branches snapping under your feet – everyone is quiet as they search for any evidence of the opening.
Suddenly, your light does catch something. Something red.
You move closer without thinking, but your steps are slow and careful. As you approach the sight, it almost looks like a cocoon reaching one tree, all the way across to the other. There’s dark, thick vine like branches surrounding what looks like the rift. The red flashes beam from beneath it, lighting up the dark woods around you.
But the closer you get, the worse it looks. It’s not just sitting there - it’s moving. The thin layer covering it pulses like a heart beats rhythm. Slowly, lean just a little closer.
Without looking away, you speak up. “Hey guys..” You start hesitantly. “I think – I think I found it,”
You know without looking the kids have wandered a little further than a few feet but still close enough to hear you. The sound of their distant voices fills the air around you.
“Are you sure?” Dustin’s voice rings out.
“I’m pretty sure,” You reply. You sink to the floor, squatting in front of the rift. “This isn’t something I’ve randomly come across bef– ,”
Suddenly, you’re cut off when one of the thick vines snaps through the cocoon like layer.
A fearful yelp tears from your throat and you jerk backwards, landing on your bottom against the hard ground. Your flashlight falls from your hand, rolling away and taking away any light you had before.
You hear the kids shout your name from far behind you and the sound of their footsteps rushing closer.
Your stomach sinks as you watch the vine slither across the ground and within seconds, wrap itself around your thigh. Even through your jeans, you can feel the cold and slippery skin of the vine – just before its hold tightens, tight enough to nearly cut off circulation.
Pain shoots from the skin of your thigh, traveling through every inch of your body. You don’t even have time to react before it yanks you across the dirt.
It’s white hot pain coursing through your veins, setting every nerve on fire. It feels like nails are sinking into your skin – almost like it has teeth it’s holding you by – as it drags you around. The pain is enough for a real scream to tear out of you this time.
The vine flips you around and your nails dig into the dirt of the forest, desperate to grab any leverage you can. Your skin fills with a hundred tiny cuts from branches and rocks digging into your skin as it pulls you across the floor.
Your legs kick with every movement of the vine in an attempt to break free but the more you struggle, the tighter its hold gets. You can’t suppress the cry that launches from your chest – the sound bouncing off the trees around you.
Your chest is pressed to the floor when you see the kids running to you but before they can reach you, it pulls you further down. Max screams your name and even through your pain, it’s enough to gather all your strength. The vine pulls you past a pile of leaves and rocks.
You barely have a second to think about it before your hand yanks the sharpest rock you find and you’re slamming it into the flesh like surface of the vine. You drive the sharpest point again, and again and again until it begins to squeal around your skin.
The grip slowly loosens but still tries to tug you further into the forest. You keep stabbing wildly, your vision clouded from pain and the dirt stuck to your face. Your arms burn from the movement until you strike directly at the top.
The rock slashes through the head of the vine, hard enough to slide right through its skin and pierce your own thigh.
The adrenaline coursing through your veins isn’t enough to mask the pain and you scream in agony at the feeling of the rock puncturing your skin.
Finally, the vine forces itself out from under the rock and slowly slithers back deep into the trees.
You’re gasping for breath, your entire body trembling as you drop the rock to the ground. Your gaze drops down to your thigh.
Blood soaks your jeans and you can see the way your thigh shakes from pain. Gingerly, your hands grasp the skin of your thigh, trying to apply pressure but your hands quickly stain from the blood.
The kids finally reach you and Max sinks to the ground beneath you, launching herself around you. You catch her as best you can with one arm, the other pressed firm against your wound.
“Oh thank God!” She cries. You groan in pain – from both her bone crushing hug and your leg.
The boys shine their lights over you two, both letting out a sigh of relief until they catch sight of your leg.
“Holy shit,” Dustin gasps. You wince, breath shuddering.
“It’s – it’s not as bad as it looks,” You force out through your teeth. Max pulls away and looks at your legs next.
“Are you kidding me?” She exclaims. “You’re literally gushing blood – that’s as bad as it gets!”
“Max, calm down,” You mutter and it only pisses her off more.
“Don’t tell me to calm down! That could’ve killed you,”
“Yeah except it didn’t,” You bite back.
You take a deep breath and swallow down a cry as you try to push yourself up. Lucas quickly drops beside you, arms slipping under your arms to help you up.
You wince at the pain shooting from your thigh, up to your chest, but you try to hide it. The last thing you want is for them to panic. Dustin appears in front of you.
He says your name carefully. “Your leg looks really bad, okay? We have to call –.”
You cut him off. “I’m fine, Dustin.” He looks ready to argue but you cut him off. “Is that a favorite shirt?”
The boy glances down at his shirt, brows pulled tight. “What? No, not really. It’s just –.”
This time, you cut him off by yanking the bottom towards you and tearing a long piece.
“Hey – what the hell!” He shouts, eyes wide.
Your only response is a groan as you wrap the fabric around your cut, tying a knot tight enough to burn. Max quickly pulls your arm around your waist, holding you from falling. There’s a muffled cry in your throat as you feel more blood slide down your leg but the makeshift tourniquet will have to do for now.
“I said I’m fine,” You breathe out, one arm sliding across Max’s shoulders. “We can’t just sit here and wait for someone to find us, alright? It’s too dangerous out here,”
Despite the pain filling your body, your voice is firm and unyielding. The three kids look up at you and silence fills the air for a few moments before they all nod, murmuring agreements towards you.
The four of you begin to move forward together, back in the direction of the meetup point. Max holds onto you – one arm snaked around your waist and the other holding your hand draped over her shoulder. Lucas walks behind you two, carefully looking in every direction for any sign of danger. Dustin walks ahead of you all, flashlight beaming in front of him as he tries to make contact with the radio.
“I repeat – this is a code red. We are in dire need of rescue and we need a response!” His angry voice rings through the trees. “Nancy? Steve? Anybody? Damnit!” He shouts.
You wince at the shrill sound. Everything around you feels heightened – the pain in your leg, the way your blood soaked jeans cling to your skin, the way blood continues to pour out of your cut and into your shoe.
“We’re too deep in the woods, Dustin. The chances of getting a signal are slim,” Lucas points out behind you.
The walk towards the gate felt long enough but now, it feels endless. It feels like you’re walking in circles – every tree looks the same and every time you think you’re almost to the end, you’re met with the same sight of never ending darkness ahead of you.
“How much further?” Max asks, her hold around your waist tightening.
Your face twists in pain but you stay quiet.
“I don’t think it’s that far anymore. We passed this hill like ten minutes after we started walking,” Dustin says.
It should give you some hope but you don’t think you have ten minutes of walking left in you.
You look at Max and you can see the complete fear covering her face. A sight you haven’t seen since Billy attacked the group back at Starcourt last year. It kills you.
You can’t give up now. It’s not about you. She’s depending on you – they all are. Getting them back to safety is all that matters, no matter what.
Despite your mind telling you to keep pushing through the pain, your leg has decided it’s had enough. Before you even realize it’s happening, your knee buckles beneath you and you slip from Max’s hold.
A sharp gasp slips past your lips as you crash into the floor. Your knees smack against the ground, a shattering feeling shooting up to your wound. Your hands barely catch you in time, the sticks and rocks digging into the skin of your palm.
Max’s hand miss as they shoot out to catch you. Lucas appears next to you in the blink of an eye and the three kids huddle around you.
Max says your name tearfully. “You can’t keep going, we – we have to wait here,”
“We can’t,” You grit out. “It’s not safe out here for you guys, I can – I can keep going, I just need a min-minute,”
The kids all glance at each other before Dustin speaks up.
“Okay, you guys stay here with her. I’m gonna walk further down, see if I can reach them on the walkie,”
“No!” You try to manage your firmest tone but your voice cracks right down the middle. “Henderson, you’re not going alone. I can walk.”
You brace your palms against the ground and try to push up. Your elbows wobble beneath you and you barely make it into an upright kneeling position before they give out beneath you.
You cry out in pain but this time, Max catches you.
“Lucas, go with him. I’ll stay here with her.” She orders.
“I said no!” You shout but the boys don’t listen to you this time. They walk a few feet further away, Dustin’s voice echoing through the woods as he calls out their names.
“Stop it!” Max snaps. “You’re no help if you’re dead, alright! We need the others,”
Tears prick your eyes as her words settle in your chest.
Not from the pain but from frustration.
You were supposed to protect her. All of them.
Instead, you’re kneeling in dirt, grime and a pool of your own blood. Instead, you’re relying on three teenagers to take care of you.
The only thing you’re grateful for is the fact that you can still see the boys when you finally hear Nancy’s voice fills the air too.
“Dus – Dustin?” Her voice cracks over the static. You watch the way the boys practically jump for joy at the sound of her voice and you can feel Max’s body loosen just barely beside you.
“Oh thank fuck!” Dustin curses over the radio. “Nancy, we need help. We found the gate but Y/N, she’s – she’s hurt really bad.”
“What hap-happened?”
The cracks over the radio prove how weak the signal is and you worry you’re about to lose it entirely.
“It was like, a vine from the damn rift. I don’t – I don’t know but it’s bad, she can’t walk,” He explains.
The reminder of what happened has your face twisting. The way Dustin sounds explaining to Nancy how you got hurt – like you can’t handle things. Like you’re weak. It’s irrational, it really is but it’s all you can focus on.
Max notices the pained look on your face and the way your breathing turns uneven. She shifts to kneel in front of you and pulls your gaze towards her.
“What do you need?” She asks softly.
Your lip wobbles as you look at her.
Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it.
“I – I want Steve,” You choke out. Her eyes soften immediately and she squeezes your hands before turning her head.
“She wants Steve!” She shouts to the boys. They both look over at where you both kneel on the ground and Dustin quickly locks in.
“Where’s Steve? She’s asking for Steve,” He relays over the walkie.
There’s a beat of silence.
And then you hear him.
“Dustin! I’m right here. What happened? Where is she?”
Steve.
His voice is loud and frantic, almost like he’s too close to the speaker. It’s hard to understand him completely and you can feel your eyes get heavier as Dustin gives him a quick rundown of what happened.
“I’m coming.” His voice cracks through the line.
It’s two simple words, but it’s enough to bring you to tears.
You will them back with every bit of strength you have left. You already feel weak enough – actually crying in front of your baby sister will kill you before your wound ever can.
You try not to focus on the way embarrassment slowly begins to creep up on you but it’s hard not to feel it. Because Steve is coming and he’s going to see you – covered in blood and tears, helpless and exposed.
But as overwhelming as that feels, you also feel relief.
Because Steve is coming back to you.
As much as you fought against admitting it, all you want is him. You want to be wrapped in his arms, buried in his chest, and surrounded by his warmth.
You just want him.
It’s barely five minutes before you can hear his voice shouting in the distance.
He’s calling out for you – your name echoing through the air and off the trees. Your chest aches at the sound of his voice so close.
Finally, you see his flashlight through the trees a few feet in front of you and then you see him. He appears from between the trees, his eyes wide and frantic. He lands on Dustin first, the light flickering from him, to where you kneel on the ground.
The second his eyes land on you, he’s rushing towards you. He’s within arms reach in seconds and he drops to his knees in front of you, the flashlight long forgotten at his side.
“Hey, hey, hey,” He whispers, carefully pulling you from Max’s hold. His eyes lock on the blood seeping from your thigh. “You’re gonna be okay, baby,” He nods. “Where does it hurt?”
Your lips part to answer but the words get caught in your throat.
The sight of him in front of you again – his puppy dog brown eyes wide with concern for you. His gentle voice soothing you. The warmth of his skin radiating from his body to yours.
Your resolve breaks.
Thick and hot tears slide down your cheeks, dripping down your face and soaking your neck. Your arms reach out to grab him and he doesn’t even hesitate.
Steve meets you half way and you collapse into his chest. Your shoulders shake as you finally let yourself feel it all. You feel the pain of your cut and the pain of accepting help.
His arms wrap tightly around your body, holding you just as tight as you hold him. Your fists clutch the back of his jacket so hard you can hear your nails scratching the leather. You bury your face into his neck, soaking his skin in tears. He whispers gentle reassurances against your hair.
Your body wracks with sobs and not a single part of you cares about the others around you. You don’t care that they’re watching you two. You don’t care if you look weak. All you care about is Steve.
“I got you baby, I got you,” He murmurs. Carefully, Steve shifts so he can slide one arm around your back and the other beneath your knees. He moves to stand and pull you with him, settling over his arms.
You cry out from the pain of your leg bending, eyes squeezing shut and your fingers tighten their grip on his shoulders.
“I know baby, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” He soothes. “I just gotta get you out of here, okay?”
You nod timidly, breath shuddering as you try to calm yourself down. Steve doesn’t wait for anyone else before carrying you through the woods and back towards the car. He holds you as if you weigh nothing and turns what should’ve been a ten minute walk into a four minute one.
The second the car is in view, Max runs to open the back door for Steve. He easily slides in, still holding you in his arms and settles against the window of the wagon. He holds you in his lap, your arms still wrapped around his neck and your head tucked under his chin.
Everyone quickly jumps into the car and before anyone can even buckle, Nancy is peeling off the gravel and onto the main road.
Steve holds you tight to his chest the entire car ride and you don’t miss the way his eyes keep falling back to your leg.
“I’m – I’m sorry,” You whimper against his skin. Steve shakes his head.
“Don’t apologize baby, it’s okay. Everything’s okay, I promise,” He reassures you.
Steve does his best to keep you conscious even as your eyelids grow heavy and begin to drop. Nancy breaks multiple speeding laws getting back to her house and when you finally make it back, he quickly pulls you out of the car and onto the extra bed they pulled into the basement.
Steve holds your hand the entire time Nancy cleans your leg. You were right before – as bad as it was, it definitely looked worse than it was. You squeezed his hand every time the antiseptic burned against your skin and he gently wiped your tears with his thumb.
He whispered sweet reassurances into your ears, planting gentle kisses to your face every time you winced in pain. Nancy managed to clean and dress the wound fairly quickly and once she finished, she steered everyone back upstairs to give you space.
Exhaustion has embedded itself deep in your bones and you gather all your strength to keep looking at Steve. He’s kneeling on the side of the bed, one hand stroking your hair and the other laced with yours.
He looks completely content just watching you for the rest of the night but your guilt hasn’t subsided even a bit.
“Steve,” You whisper so softly, he would’ve missed it if he wasn’t so hyperaware of you.
“What is it, baby?”
Your wide eyes stare up at him. “I’m sorry,”
Tears line your eyes again, hot and unyielding, and your lip wobbles. His eyes soften at you and he moves to lay beside you instead. He settles beside you, carefully pulling you into his chest.
“You don’t have to –.”
“Yes I do,” You interrupt. Your voice is slow, but he lets you talk. “I didn’t – I didn’t mean it, Steve, I swear. I was just scared. I’ve only ever needed Max and now it just feels like I’m losing her and I was scared if I admitted I needed you, I would lose you too,” You confess, tears staining your cheeks.
His face twists in pain at the sight of you crying. He raises his hand to cup your cheek. “I didn’t mean what I said either,” He begins. “About you being better off alone. I was angry and I tried to hurt you back but it wasn’t true baby, not for a second. I’m sorry,”
His thumb glides across the skin of your cheek. You lean into his touch, brows pulled tight.
“I don’t want to be alone anymore, Steve.”
He nods, his eyes glossing over. “You’re not baby, you have me,”
You stare up at him and every instinct to shut him out disappears. “I need you, Steve. More than anything and I don’t ever want to lose you,”
He exhales sharply. “You will never lose me, okay? I swear to you. It doesn’t matter what’s going on – you’ll have me until the end of fucking time, baby,”
Without another word, you bury yourself back in his chest and cling to him like second skin.
For twenty years, you convinced yourself you didn’t need anybody else. You convinced yourself that accepting help meant admitting failure. But now, as you lay against Steve’s chest – completely bare and vulnerable to him – fully allowing him to take care of you, it all changed.
You finally admitted that you needed him and the world didn't end. He kept his promise. He was here, and he always would be.
summary: every terrible memory comes rushing back to you after you accidentally break one of steve’s plates.
warnings: mentions of past abuse, domestic abuse (not including steve), glass breaking, minor injury, ptsd, anxiety, panic attack, little angst, crying, steve is so sweet, fluff, happy ending of course
word count: 2.1k
Sometime you felt like being with Steve was too good to be true. He was unlike anybody you’ve ever known. He was loyal and kind, always affectionate and respectful beyond words. He understood you in ways you weren’t even sure you did yourself.
As achingly sweet as he was, you practically lived in anxiety. It was like you were always waiting for the other shoe to drop. You waited, shoulders tense, for his kind hearted demeanor to finally switch on a day you upset him – maybe even only inconvenienced.
But he never did.
Steve never raised his voice – never raised his hand to you – he never dished out silent treatment when he was upset. He never demanded unrealistic expectations from you. He never asked you to change yourself or try to stuff you in a box.
It should’ve felt good. Safe.
It just made you feel more on edge. Like his inevitable blow up would be worse than anything your mind could have ever conjured up.
None of this was his fault, not even a little bit. You had your disgusting ex-boyfriend to thank for it. He was the one who littered your skin with bruises and wounds. He was the one who would kick you to the ground over and over and over again for saying the wrong thing at dinner. He was the one who told you you’d never deserve anything more than what he gave you.
And even though you were years out of it, and you did most of the work to unlearn every cruel word he instilled in your brain, it was hard to let it all go.
Steve knew about your past and not once did he let it affect the way he saw you. He didn’t see you as fragile or weak – he saw you for you. Strong willed and determined.
But was it really enough?
Today was Steve’s first day as head coach for the middle school baseball team. His promotion from elementary school to middle had been something he worked the past year for.
You couldn’t have been more proud of him but words didn’t feel like enough. So while he was at practice, you spent the day fixing up your shared apartment. You paid attention to every detail as you cleaned, you hung adorable baseball decorations around the room and you put every ounce of love into the dinner you made for him.
You had three pans across the stove at any given time, your fingers raw and numb from all the chopping. Your back ached from leaning over the stove but you knew it would all be worth it to see his face when he walked in.
He spent so much time making other people happy, you wanted to do the same for him.
Dinner was just about finished, you made him his favorite dish of yours – pot roast with some mashed potatoes and veggies on the side. The last thing was to plate it and fix the table.
In the cabinet, there was a set of beautiful glass dishes you and Steve were gifted by his mom. They were old china – beautifully hand painted with blue and white. You never had the chance to use them yet, but today felt like the perfect opportunity.
You carefully pulled two plates out and perfectly placed the food across the glass. You set his side of the table and then yours and with a quick glance at the clock, you had just enough time to yank your apron off to reveal the pretty red dress Steve bought you a few weeks ago.
Only a few minutes later, Steve walked through the door. Dressed in his blue and white coaching polo, paired with his khaki pants. His brown hair was floppy atop his head, his stubborn curl leaning over his forehead.
He looked tired – undoubtedly from the warm sun, but his eyes lit up the second they saw you. He gently shut the door behind him, but paused in the doorway as he took in the sight around him. The smell of food hit him first. His eyes danced around the room – taking in the decorations, the cleanliness, the beautiful table you set with candles and flowers alongside your dinner.
Then at you.
Your ridiculously gorgeous frame standing beside the table, wearing the dress he bought you. Your hands clasped in front of you, a shy smile ghosting on your lips.
“Hi Steve,” You murmured at him and he didn’t even try to bite back his grin.
“Hey baby,” He replied, finally finding his strength to move. He tossed his keys on the dish beside him and in a few short steps, he ended up right in front of you.
His hands found their home at your waist, his thumb stroking over the fabric there. Your arms follow, wrapping around his shoulders.
“What’s all this, hm?” His voice is so gentle and full of love. You smile up at him and quickly peck his lips before pulling away from him. You easily steer him to his seat across from you. You find your own seat immediately after, a smile still coating your mouth.
“This..” You gesture towards the plate in front of him. “Is to show you how proud I am of you, Steve. You worked so hard for your promotion and you’re gonna do great,”
Steve felt his chest warm with adoration as you stared at him. He was almost at a loss for words.
You were too damn sweet.
He smiled back at you and raised his hand across the table to grab yours.
“It’s beautiful baby, just like you,” His words make your cheeks heat up and he chuckles. “I love it honey, thank you.”
Your smile widens and you gesture towards the food “Now eat, it’s gonna get cold,”
Steve nods quickly, his hand slipping from yours to dig in. The two of you ate together, talking about how his first day went and how much he loved it already.
He told you about the kids on the team and some of the parents he was able to meet. He told you what he planned to focus on first with them and you could see that twinkle in his eye every time he talked about it.
It made your heart feel like it was going to burst.
When you finished dinner, you stood to gather the dishes but he stopped you before you could.
“Nuh-uh,” He hummed, rising to his feet and easily stealing the glasses from you. “I can do this,”
You frown up at him. “But it’s your day, Steve,”
He stacks the plates over each other, holding them with both hands as he presses a sweet kiss to your temple.
“You cooked all of this. The least I could do is wash the dishes,”
You fight back a smile as he walks further into the kitchen and to the sink. He places them down before his fingers begin to unbutton the sleeves of his shirt, carefully rolling them up to his elbow.
You bite your lip to suppress the grin threatening to make it’s appearance.
“Okay, but I can still help,” You declared. Steve says something from the sink that you can’t quite catch as you grab the drinking glasses from the table.
Both of them sit in each palm as you turn to walk back to the sink. What you didn’t account for was the chair pushed closer than you thought and before you can stop it, your foot catches on the wooden leg. Your knee buckles and in an attempt to keep yourself from falling, the cup slips from your grasp and shatters across the hardwood floor.
Your ears ring.
In an instant, you’re on your knees, huddled over the broken glass. Instinctively, your hands reach out to grab the pieces of glass as if you could somehow put it all back together before Steve turned around.
Suddenly, it was like you were no longer with Steve and instead, you were back in that awful house. You could feel your body trembling as your mind echoed with nasty thoughts, all by the sound of your ex boyfriend’s voice.
Look at what you did.
You can’t do anything right.
Do you even know how much that cost?
Your eyes stung with tears and your breathing hitched. This wasn’t just a cup – this was gorgeous art Steve was gifted by his mother and you ruined it.
You heard the sound of plates clattering in the sink and Steve’s footsteps getting closer.
This was it. This was when it was going to happen.
Your stomach was in knots as your hands quickly grabbed pieces of the glass. You couldn’t stop your hands from clenching around it but the fear pumping in your veins had you unable to feel the way it pierced your skin.
You could just barely see his shoes enter your vision. The sound of him calling your name was almost clouded.
“I’m – I’m so – I’m so sorry, Steve. It was an accident, I – I swear,” Your stuttering voice was all you could focus on.
Then Steve bent down and you physically braced for the impact. You didn’t really know what kind – from his hand, his shoe, his elbow – whatever he chose really.
But that didn’t happen. Of course not.
Steve gently wrapped his palms around your arms, pulling you upright until you were sitting in the chair furthest from the broken glass. Your hands still clutched the pieces tight, little specs of blood spilling from the sides.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Steve cooed, gingerly raising his palms to cup your cheeks. “Are you okay, baby? What happened?”
You don’t dare to meet his gaze. You keep your eyes locked on your trembling hands. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to break it. I’ll – I’ll fix it. I can – I can fix it,” You say frantically, tears streaming down your face in rapid succession.
Steve frowns and pulls your face upwards to face him. He says your name gently but firm. “Hey, I don’t care about the cup,”
Finally, you look up at him.
Your vision is clouded from the hot tears lining your eyes but you can see him. His face is twisted in confusion, his mouth pulled down into a frown and his eyes swirl with concern.
He looks almost relieved that you’re looking at him again.
“It’s just a cup, okay? It’s not a big deal,”
You shake your head, lip wobbling. “But it was from your mom. It was important and I – I broke it,” You sobbed.
Steve held you tighter. “Baby, breathe,” He says softly. “I promise you it’s okay. It was an accident.”
Your shoulders shake as more tears pour from you. Steve glances down at your hands and sees the way you’re clinging to the glass pieces. He mutters a curse before grabbing a wet towel and carefully forcing your fingers away from your palm.
He winces at the sight of your nicked skin and begins to clean up the skin. He keeps his eyes on his task as he begins to talk again.
“Baby, I need you to understand something,” His voice is firm but so tender. You blink through your tears and look back at him. “I will never hurt you, and I will never yell at you, especially not over a broken cup,”
Steve carefully plucks the pieces of glass out of your hold and throws them into the pile of the rest. He places the towel over your palm and uses both of his to interlace your fingers. His brown eyes meet yours.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, baby. Accidents happen and it’s okay to get scared but I want you to know that you never have to be afraid of me. You’re safe baby, I promise you that.”
By the time he finishes, a new wave of tears have washed over you but not from anxiety – from love. From the love you’re overwhelmed with for him. From the aching difference in the way he treats you than anybody else.
You want to believe him so much – you do believe him, even when it’s easy to fall back into your bad spot.
He looks up at you from where he kneels in front of you. He’s careful in his movements, hyperaware of anything they could set you off. You suck in a shaky breath and wrap your arms around his neck.
His arms wrap around you easily, caging you into him and his warmth. He whispers sweet things in your hair, lips grazing across your temple.
“I – I love you,” You whimper against the skin of his neck.
summary: you’ve lived your entire life without depending on anybody. steve harrington walked into your life ready to change that.
warnings: mayfield!reader, angst, little bit of arguing, canon violence, blood and bit of gore, avoidant issues to the max, she’s so stubborn, and lowkey mean, crying kiss and makeup, cursing, the kids <3,
word count: 6.7k
Early in life, you learned pretty quickly the only person you could depend on was yourself. Your parents were always too busy fighting each other to pay any attention to you and no matter how much you wanted someone to care for you and hold you in your hard times, nobody ever did.
You tucked yourself into bed. You soothed yourself after a nightmare. You took care of yourself and never let anyone see how much you ached for help.
Eventually, the ache dulled and you found some sort of sick comfort in having yourself. At least you never had to deal with disappointment.
Then your baby sister came along.
You were overwhelmed by the intense need to protect her from everything you weren’t. As you two grew up, you began to tuck her in, soothe her back to sleep, care for her every morning.
You distracted her when your parents argued and when their marriage finally met it’s inevitable end, you held her tight. Then, and without input from either of you, your mom moved you half way across the world to move in with her new husband and his step son.
It wasn’t so much the move that upset you. You couldn’t have cared less about California or being far from your dad – it was how much it upset Max.
Even though your mom promised it would be a fresh start, it wasn’t. Nothing good changed in Hawkins. Your mom and Neil fought just as much as your parents. You and Billy fought even worse than them. It was the exact reminder as to why you never depended on anybody.
And then Steve Harrington entered your life.
He was like a breath of fresh air entering your lungs. Floppy hair, charming eyes and a dizzying smile. You were a goner before he even said his name.
But admitting that was another story.
It was obvious by the time you came into town, he’d gone through a pretty messy breakup but whatever happened, it got him to clean up his act. He was right beside you when you and Max got roped into fighting monsters in the junkyard. He was there when Billy tried to attack you and Lucas in the Byers home. He was the one who pulled you into a plot of underground Russians and it was him who held you and Max after Billy died.
It took him a year to finally break through your walls, but he proved himself to you. It was Steve Harrington who proved that there was at least one person you could depend on. Steve told you he loved you first – even though you already knew – and surprising to everyone, you let him in.
Steve was yours and you were his.
But as good as it felt, you couldn’t let go of your bad habits. Grief and guilt tried to swallow you whole – mostly because you didn’t even actually care that Billy died and how could you feel like that over someone who’s supposed to be family?
You knew Steve would love you no matter what but the idea of letting him see the darkest parts of yourself? Leaving you bare and open to his scrutiny? It was terrifying. Slowly, you gave him pieces, enough to satisfy him, but you knew it wouldn’t be enough forever.
Steve was patient, incredibly so, and sometimes you wondered how long it would be before he realized you weren’t worth it.
Loving him came to you as easy as breathing did. Asking him for help? That felt humiliating. Like you were weak.
But soon, your mind wasn’t on yourself anymore. It was on Max and when you all got sucked into a reality where she was next on a monsters kill list?
Well, shit hit the fan.
You, Steve and the rest of the group form a circle in the Wheeler’s basement. It’s been three days since the random deaths started hitting the town and yesterday, Max told you all about the visions she’d been having.
Sneaking into the high school and watching the way her eyes clouded over and she drifted somewhere else, had your heart dropping to hell itself.
Your biggest fear was now happening right in front of you and you’ve never felt more helpless in your life.
You can hear Nancy talking about the plan for tonight and how the groups are supposed to be split up, but you’re not actually listening. You’re standing right next to Max, one hand resting over the side of her chair and itching to grab her instead.
You’ve barely been able to take your eyes off her for more than a few seconds all night – it’s like you’re afraid if you blink, she’ll be taken from you. Right now, it actually feels plausible.
It’s obvious to everyone, including her, just how much you’re hovering and you know it’s beginning to irritate her but you can’t find it in yourself to care even a little bit. This isn’t just you being an overprotective older sister – this is her life. You’ll be damned if you let anything happen to her.
Nancy calling your name pulls your attention from Max and you look up at her. “You’ll go with me, Steve and Robin to check out the site closest to the lab. We can’t risk anybody seeing Eddie, so he’ll stay with the kids,”
There’s not a moments hesitation when you speak. “I’m staying with Max.”
She glances around the others before she sighs. You can tell she wants to argue but she doesn’t. “Okay. Just me, Steve and Robin then. You guys have to check out the woods and make sure the gate already closed. If anybody hears anything, you radio it in, okay?” Her voice is full of conviction, something no one tries to challenge.
Everyone nods, except for Steve.
“Take Henderson,” He says. Your gaze flickers up to where he stands beside you. “I’ll stay with them instead,”
In all fairness, it’s a sweet gesture. The idea of Steve wanting to stay close to you and Max but lately, it’s all he’s been doing. Ever since Max’s depression hit its highest peak, you’ve been hovering her and Steve’s been hovering you.
You’ve tried to ignore the irritation that bubbles inside you every time he does it. It’s ironic really – he’s only doing to you, the exact thing you’re doing to Max, but she’s used to that with you. You’re still not used to it with Steve.
“You don’t have to come with us, Steve.” You interrupt carefully. “I can handle it alone,”
He frowns down at you. “I want to.”
You don’t respond before looking away and you let Nancy’s voice fill the silence you created. You can feel his eyes still on you but you don’t look back up at him.
A few minutes later and everyone has dispersed, quickly gathering their things to head out. You took the opportunity to pull Max aside.
“Hey,” You murmur, gently holding her arm. You’re staring at her adorably freckled face, your heart aching at the sight of the braid you put in her hair. “Are you sure you’re okay to do this? If you don’t want to, we can stay back and let them handle it.”
She groans and pulls away from you. “I told you, I’m fine. You’re treating me like a baby,”
Your mouth pulls down as you watch her fill her bag . “I don’t think you’re a baby, Max. I think this is a real problem and I..”You quickly grow irritated over the fact that she won’t look at you, busying herself with her bag. You grab her hand and force her gaze back on you. “Hey, I don’t want you getting hurt.”
She stares back at you, her expression unreadable. “If you don’t want me to get hurt, then stop babying me and let me figure this out.”
The tone in her voice takes you aback but before you can even respond, she rips her arm from your grasp and walks towards Lucas and follows everyone else upstairs.
Your shoulders deflate as you watch her leave.
Maybe she was right – maybe you were babying her, just a little, but what did she expect? This wasn’t just a game – it was her life on the line.
All you want is to protect her. To lock her somewhere safe, far away where nobody and nothing could ever hurt her. Instead, you’re stuck on a ticking time bomb to save her.
Suddenly, Steve appears in front of you and holds your arm the same way you held hers only minutes ago. His large hands circle your arms, his thumbs brushing over your skin.
He gives you a small smile. “Everything’s gonna be okay, baby,”
You glance up at him and sigh. “I’m not worried about me, Steve.” You pull away from his grasp and step around him to grab your jacket.
There’s a beat of silence.
“I know you’re not but I am,”
Your eyes flutter shut and you take a deep breath. You can feel the tension in your body begging to snap – at him.
“I don’t need you to babysit me, Steve.”
You see him step next to you out of your peripheral vision. “I’m not babysitting you, I’m – I’m trying to be there for you,”
You can hear the confusion in his voice and your heart tugs at the sound, but it’s not enough to reel in your annoyance.
Steve hasn’t taken his eyes off the side of your face and you don’t move to look at him. “You’re not though, you’re hovering. I don’t need you to coddle me, I need you to help me find this Vecna guy and save my sister.”
Your frustration has bled through your voice and Steve picks up on it in seconds.
His brows furrow and his mouth is turned down in a permanent frown. “I am trying to do that. What – what do you think I’ve been doing these past couple of days?” He pauses for a second and shifts on his feet, moving until he’s right in front of you. You still keep your eyes downward, fixated on snapping in every button of your jacket. “But baby, it’s not just Max I’m worried about. It’s you too, I can see the way it’s affecting you.”
Finally, your head snaps up at him, eyes blazing. “Of course it’s affecting me, Steve, she’s my sister! But you treating me like glass isn’t going to help. You’re not helping, you’re just - you’re just suffocating me!”
As soon as the words leave you, you feel overwhelmed with regret. And the look on his face? He looks devastated. You watch as his entire body stills and his shoulders tense. He take a step back, as if your words physically struck him.
Your lips part, almost like you’re ready to say something but nothing comes out. It’s completely silent.
You stand across from each other without a word, only the sound of uneven breathing surrounding you two.
Then, he shakes his head.
His eyes flicker away from you and he rakes his hand through his hair.
“Fine,” He starts. His voice is low and broken – you can hear the hidden anger beneath it. “If I’m suffocating you then fine. I can’t keep sitting here, trying to guess how to love you. You’re right – you’re better off alone.”
Steve doesn’t wait for you to respond before he’s walking away too, leaving you alone in the basement.
Your eyes burn and you can feel your throat tighten. It’s shame and regret and guilt hitting you all at once but there’s no taking it back. There’s no apology to fix it.
You had meant it – maybe not entirely – but you’re not used to the comfort Steve’s offering and instead of letting him help, you hurt him.
You hurt him.
You’ve never felt worse in your life.
A few minutes later, you made your own way upstairs and the only thing you could focus on was the way Steve completely avoided you.
He kept his back turned towards you while everyone filled Nancy’s car. The car ride was awkward to say the least. Nancy let him drive and instead of you taking the passenger seat beside him, Nancy sat there and you occupied the seat directly behind him and next to Max.
You hoped maybe his eyes would watch yours in the rear view mirror.
They didn’t.
Not once did he make eye contact or offer any comforting touches.
It wasn’t until then did you realize how much it actually helped you. Before, it felt like his touch was burning. Now, you yearned for it back.
It’s a painful twenty minute car ride and once you make it to the middle of the woods, everyone barrels out of the wagon. You all stand around in another circle, listening to Nancy talk about the meetup point. Everyone is ready to split up when Steve reaches down to grab the bag from her hand and begins passing out flashlights.
Your eyes are hopeful when he moves to hand you yours. He still hasn’t looked at you, instead keeping his eyes locked on the flashlight. Your fingers close around the object and you take a step closer to him, ready to try and initiate a conversation before you walk away but before you can, his grip drops and he brushes past you.
He was barely close enough for his shoulder to press against yours and you could smell his cologne as he passed you. Your heart ached as you turned around and watched him walk away – following Nancy further down the path of their own route.
But you don’t stop him.
Instead, you flip your flashlight on and walk in the opposite direction. Away from him.
It’s been nearly half an hour of walking towards the gate. The woods are dark and silent – save from the leaves rusting and crunching beneath your feet. You’re not sure if the way the wind whistles is from whatever could be lurking between the trees or to blame on nature.
Still, not once has your mind wandered from Steve.
From the argument, the look on his face, his words. You couldn’t blame him for what he said – you weren’t exactly nice with the things you said but it still stung to think about.
You always knew you didn’t make it easy for people to be around you – let alone love you but Steve did. He did wholeheartedly and unapologetically.
And what did you give him in return?
Basically a slap in the face.
It’s hardly a surprise he’s met his wits end with you.
Max quietly steps beside you, her footsteps matching your own. For a few seconds, you don’t really register her presence or the way she keeps side eyeing you.
“It’s okay to let someone in, you know.” She finally breaks the silence. “Like all the way,”
You glance up at her. Your response isn’t immediate – you’re not even truly sure how to respond.
You choose deflection.
“You’re one to talk,” You huff. “You broke up with Lucas a few months ago.”
Max rolls her eyes. “Yeah, and look where that got me,”
Your hand shoots out to grab her arm; forcing her to a halt. “Don’t joke about that,” You say firmly. “You’re going to be fine.”
She doesn’t flinch at your tone and she doesn’t pull away either. Your fingers tighten around her skin, as if her words were a declaration for someone to snatch her away.
She sighs quickly. “My point is I let my shit control me. I could’ve asked for help – Lucas spent months trying and all I did was push him away. This wouldn’t be happening if I just let him.”
Your eyes gloss over at the thought of her regretting the way she handled everything. She couldn’t have known.
“You don’t know that, Maxie,” You murmur and for once, she doesn’t bite your head off for calling her that.
Instead she shrugs and continues walking, letting you follow her. “Maybe not. But I do know if I make it out of this alive,” She looks away from you then and you follow to where her gaze lands on Lucas walking a few feet ahead of Dustin. “I’m going to fix it with Lucas because I love him and he loves me.” She looks back at you, a newfound sadness deep in her eyes. “And Steve really loves you. So get your shit together and stop pushing him away,”
Her words land exactly where she intended. Embedded deep beneath your ribs, stabbing through your heart. She was right – in every aspect.
If Steve was going to leave, he would’ve done so already, but he hasn’t. He’s held you through almost every ugly part of your life and still loves you with every ounce of himself.
And if you haven’t completely ruined everything between you two, you were going to fix it. Even if you didn’t deserve him.
You glance at Max from the corner of your eye. “You’re making it out of this alive by the way. Even if I have to burn the upside down to the ground myself.”
Max smirks at your words, even though you both catch the way your voice breaks. “Whatever you say.”
You and the kids keep walking further into the woods, so far until the trees begin to blend and you almost worry you won’t be able to find your way back.
You still haven’t found the gate and you’re ready to pull everyone back and retreat before Dustin suddenly springs upwards. He murmurs out a string of curses and spins in a circle.
“Henderson, I’m getting dizzy just looking at you. What’re you doing?” You grimace at the curly headed boy.
“The compass. It’s – it’s acting crazy. It’s pointing in every direction.” He distractedly responds. His face is pulled tight, brows furrowed and a frown plastered on his mouth.
“Maybe it’s broken?” Lucas asks. Dustin glares at him.
“I know how to take care of my things, Lucas,” He hissed. Lucas glares back harder.
“I didn’t say you didn’t, Dustin, but why else would it be going haywire?”
“I don’t know! That’s what I’m trying to figure out, asshole – ,”
“You’re the asshole!”
“No, you’re the – .”
Max cuts them off with an obnoxious groan.
“Are you two ladies finished?” She snaps. “If it’s not broken then that could mean the gate is near here. We need to try and find it, so stop your cat fight, alright?”
The two boys huff but ultimately listen.
The four of you walk in opposite directions, flashlights stuck to the ground as you inspect the floor for an opening. For a few minutes, the only sound around you is the branches snapping under your feet – everyone is quiet as they search for any evidence of the opening.
Suddenly, your light does catch something. Something red.
You move closer without thinking, but your steps are slow and careful. As you approach the sight, it almost looks like a cocoon reaching one tree, all the way across to the other. There’s dark, thick vine like branches surrounding what looks like the rift. The red flashes beam from beneath it, lighting up the dark woods around you.
But the closer you get, the worse it looks. It’s not just sitting there - it’s moving. The thin layer covering it pulses like a heart beats rhythm. Slowly, lean just a little closer.
Without looking away, you speak up. “Hey guys..” You start hesitantly. “I think – I think I found it,”
You know without looking the kids have wandered a little further than a few feet but still close enough to hear you. The sound of their distant voices fills the air around you.
“Are you sure?” Dustin’s voice rings out.
“I’m pretty sure,” You reply. You sink to the floor, squatting in front of the rift. “This isn’t something I’ve randomly come across bef– ,”
Suddenly, you’re cut off when one of the thick vines snaps through the cocoon like layer.
A fearful yelp tears from your throat and you jerk backwards, landing on your bottom against the hard ground. Your flashlight falls from your hand, rolling away and taking away any light you had before.
You hear the kids shout your name from far behind you and the sound of their footsteps rushing closer.
Your stomach sinks as you watch the vine slither across the ground and within seconds, wrap itself around your thigh. Even through your jeans, you can feel the cold and slippery skin of the vine – just before its hold tightens, tight enough to nearly cut off circulation.
Pain shoots from the skin of your thigh, traveling through every inch of your body. You don’t even have time to react before it yanks you across the dirt.
It’s white hot pain coursing through your veins, setting every nerve on fire. It feels like nails are sinking into your skin – almost like it has teeth it’s holding you by – as it drags you around. The pain is enough for a real scream to tear out of you this time.
The vine flips you around and your nails dig into the dirt of the forest, desperate to grab any leverage you can. Your skin fills with a hundred tiny cuts from branches and rocks digging into your skin as it pulls you across the floor.
Your legs kick with every movement of the vine in an attempt to break free but the more you struggle, the tighter its hold gets. You can’t suppress the cry that launches from your chest – the sound bouncing off the trees around you.
Your chest is pressed to the floor when you see the kids running to you but before they can reach you, it pulls you further down. Max screams your name and even through your pain, it’s enough to gather all your strength. The vine pulls you past a pile of leaves and rocks.
You barely have a second to think about it before your hand yanks the sharpest rock you find and you’re slamming it into the flesh like surface of the vine. You drive the sharpest point again, and again and again until it begins to squeal around your skin.
The grip slowly loosens but still tries to tug you further into the forest. You keep stabbing wildly, your vision clouded from pain and the dirt stuck to your face. Your arms burn from the movement until you strike directly at the top.
The rock slashes through the head of the vine, hard enough to slide right through its skin and pierce your own thigh.
The adrenaline coursing through your veins isn’t enough to mask the pain and you scream in agony at the feeling of the rock puncturing your skin.
Finally, the vine forces itself out from under the rock and slowly slithers back deep into the trees.
You’re gasping for breath, your entire body trembling as you drop the rock to the ground. Your gaze drops down to your thigh.
Blood soaks your jeans and you can see the way your thigh shakes from pain. Gingerly, your hands grasp the skin of your thigh, trying to apply pressure but your hands quickly stain from the blood.
The kids finally reach you and Max sinks to the ground beneath you, launching herself around you. You catch her as best you can with one arm, the other pressed firm against your wound.
“Oh thank God!” She cries. You groan in pain – from both her bone crushing hug and your leg.
The boys shine their lights over you two, both letting out a sigh of relief until they catch sight of your leg.
“Holy shit,” Dustin gasps. You wince, breath shuddering.
“It’s – it’s not as bad as it looks,” You force out through your teeth. Max pulls away and looks at your legs next.
“Are you kidding me?” She exclaims. “You’re literally gushing blood – that’s as bad as it gets!”
“Max, calm down,” You mutter and it only pisses her off more.
“Don’t tell me to calm down! That could’ve killed you,”
“Yeah except it didn’t,” You bite back.
You take a deep breath and swallow down a cry as you try to push yourself up. Lucas quickly drops beside you, arms slipping under your arms to help you up.
You wince at the pain shooting from your thigh, up to your chest, but you try to hide it. The last thing you want is for them to panic. Dustin appears in front of you.
He says your name carefully. “Your leg looks really bad, okay? We have to call –.”
You cut him off. “I’m fine, Dustin.” He looks ready to argue but you cut him off. “Is that a favorite shirt?”
The boy glances down at his shirt, brows pulled tight. “What? No, not really. It’s just –.”
This time, you cut him off by yanking the bottom towards you and tearing a long piece.
“Hey – what the hell!” He shouts, eyes wide.
Your only response is a groan as you wrap the fabric around your cut, tying a knot tight enough to burn. Max quickly pulls your arm around your waist, holding you from falling. There’s a muffled cry in your throat as you feel more blood slide down your leg but the makeshift tourniquet will have to do for now.
“I said I’m fine,” You breathe out, one arm sliding across Max’s shoulders. “We can’t just sit here and wait for someone to find us, alright? It’s too dangerous out here,”
Despite the pain filling your body, your voice is firm and unyielding. The three kids look up at you and silence fills the air for a few moments before they all nod, murmuring agreements towards you.
The four of you begin to move forward together, back in the direction of the meetup point. Max holds onto you – one arm snaked around your waist and the other holding your hand draped over her shoulder. Lucas walks behind you two, carefully looking in every direction for any sign of danger. Dustin walks ahead of you all, flashlight beaming in front of him as he tries to make contact with the radio.
“I repeat – this is a code red. We are in dire need of rescue and we need a response!” His angry voice rings through the trees. “Nancy? Steve? Anybody? Damnit!” He shouts.
You wince at the shrill sound. Everything around you feels heightened – the pain in your leg, the way your blood soaked jeans cling to your skin, the way blood continues to pour out of your cut and into your shoe.
“We’re too deep in the woods, Dustin. The chances of getting a signal are slim,” Lucas points out behind you.
The walk towards the gate felt long enough but now, it feels endless. It feels like you’re walking in circles – every tree looks the same and every time you think you’re almost to the end, you’re met with the same sight of never ending darkness ahead of you.
“How much further?” Max asks, her hold around your waist tightening.
Your face twists in pain but you stay quiet.
“I don’t think it’s that far anymore. We passed this hill like ten minutes after we started walking,” Dustin says.
It should give you some hope but you don’t think you have ten minutes of walking left in you.
You look at Max and you can see the complete fear covering her face. A sight you haven’t seen since Billy attacked the group back at Starcourt last year. It kills you.
You can’t give up now. It’s not about you. She’s depending on you – they all are. Getting them back to safety is all that matters, no matter what.
Despite your mind telling you to keep pushing through the pain, your leg has decided it’s had enough. Before you even realize it’s happening, your knee buckles beneath you and you slip from Max’s hold.
A sharp gasp slips past your lips as you crash into the floor. Your knees smack against the ground, a shattering feeling shooting up to your wound. Your hands barely catch you in time, the sticks and rocks digging into the skin of your palm.
Max’s hand miss as they shoot out to catch you. Lucas appears next to you in the blink of an eye and the three kids huddle around you.
Max says your name tearfully. “You can’t keep going, we – we have to wait here,”
“We can’t,” You grit out. “It’s not safe out here for you guys, I can – I can keep going, I just need a min-minute,”
The kids all glance at each other before Dustin speaks up.
“Okay, you guys stay here with her. I’m gonna walk further down, see if I can reach them on the walkie,”
“No!” You try to manage your firmest tone but your voice cracks right down the middle. “Henderson, you’re not going alone. I can walk.”
You brace your palms against the ground and try to push up. Your elbows wobble beneath you and you barely make it into an upright kneeling position before they give out beneath you.
You cry out in pain but this time, Max catches you.
“Lucas, go with him. I’ll stay here with her.” She orders.
“I said no!” You shout but the boys don’t listen to you this time. They walk a few feet further away, Dustin’s voice echoing through the woods as he calls out their names.
“Stop it!” Max snaps. “You’re no help if you’re dead, alright! We need the others,”
Tears prick your eyes as her words settle in your chest.
Not from the pain but from frustration.
You were supposed to protect her. All of them.
Instead, you’re kneeling in dirt, grime and a pool of your own blood. Instead, you’re relying on three teenagers to take care of you.
The only thing you’re grateful for is the fact that you can still see the boys when you finally hear Nancy’s voice fills the air too.
“Dus – Dustin?” Her voice cracks over the static. You watch the way the boys practically jump for joy at the sound of her voice and you can feel Max’s body loosen just barely beside you.
“Oh thank fuck!” Dustin curses over the radio. “Nancy, we need help. We found the gate but Y/N, she’s – she’s hurt really bad.”
“What hap-happened?”
The cracks over the radio prove how weak the signal is and you worry you’re about to lose it entirely.
“It was like, a vine from the damn rift. I don’t – I don’t know but it’s bad, she can’t walk,” He explains.
The reminder of what happened has your face twisting. The way Dustin sounds explaining to Nancy how you got hurt – like you can’t handle things. Like you’re weak. It’s irrational, it really is but it’s all you can focus on.
Max notices the pained look on your face and the way your breathing turns uneven. She shifts to kneel in front of you and pulls your gaze towards her.
“What do you need?” She asks softly.
Your lip wobbles as you look at her.
Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it.
“I – I want Steve,” You choke out. Her eyes soften immediately and she squeezes your hands before turning her head.
“She wants Steve!” She shouts to the boys. They both look over at where you both kneel on the ground and Dustin quickly locks in.
“Where’s Steve? She’s asking for Steve,” He relays over the walkie.
There’s a beat of silence.
And then you hear him.
“Dustin! I’m right here. What happened? Where is she?”
Steve.
His voice is loud and frantic, almost like he’s too close to the speaker. It’s hard to understand him completely and you can feel your eyes get heavier as Dustin gives him a quick rundown of what happened.
“I’m coming.” His voice cracks through the line.
It’s two simple words, but it’s enough to bring you to tears.
You will them back with every bit of strength you have left. You already feel weak enough – actually crying in front of your baby sister will kill you before your wound ever can.
You try not to focus on the way embarrassment slowly begins to creep up on you but it’s hard not to feel it. Because Steve is coming and he’s going to see you – covered in blood and tears, helpless and exposed.
But as overwhelming as that feels, you also feel relief.
Because Steve is coming back to you.
As much as you fought against admitting it, all you want is him. You want to be wrapped in his arms, buried in his chest, and surrounded by his warmth.
You just want him.
It’s barely five minutes before you can hear his voice shouting in the distance.
He’s calling out for you – your name echoing through the air and off the trees. Your chest aches at the sound of his voice so close.
Finally, you see his flashlight through the trees a few feet in front of you and then you see him. He appears from between the trees, his eyes wide and frantic. He lands on Dustin first, the light flickering from him, to where you kneel on the ground.
The second his eyes land on you, he’s rushing towards you. He’s within arms reach in seconds and he drops to his knees in front of you, the flashlight long forgotten at his side.
“Hey, hey, hey,” He whispers, carefully pulling you from Max’s hold. His eyes lock on the blood seeping from your thigh. “You’re gonna be okay, baby,” He nods. “Where does it hurt?”
Your lips part to answer but the words get caught in your throat.
The sight of him in front of you again – his puppy dog brown eyes wide with concern for you. His gentle voice soothing you. The warmth of his skin radiating from his body to yours.
Your resolve breaks.
Thick and hot tears slide down your cheeks, dripping down your face and soaking your neck. Your arms reach out to grab him and he doesn’t even hesitate.
Steve meets you half way and you collapse into his chest. Your shoulders shake as you finally let yourself feel it all. You feel the pain of your cut and the pain of accepting help.
His arms wrap tightly around your body, holding you just as tight as you hold him. Your fists clutch the back of his jacket so hard you can hear your nails scratching the leather. You bury your face into his neck, soaking his skin in tears. He whispers gentle reassurances against your hair.
Your body wracks with sobs and not a single part of you cares about the others around you. You don’t care that they’re watching you two. You don’t care if you look weak. All you care about is Steve.
“I got you baby, I got you,” He murmurs. Carefully, Steve shifts so he can slide one arm around your back and the other beneath your knees. He moves to stand and pull you with him, settling over his arms.
You cry out from the pain of your leg bending, eyes squeezing shut and your fingers tighten their grip on his shoulders.
“I know baby, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” He soothes. “I just gotta get you out of here, okay?”
You nod timidly, breath shuddering as you try to calm yourself down. Steve doesn’t wait for anyone else before carrying you through the woods and back towards the car. He holds you as if you weigh nothing and turns what should’ve been a ten minute walk into a four minute one.
The second the car is in view, Max runs to open the back door for Steve. He easily slides in, still holding you in his arms and settles against the window of the wagon. He holds you in his lap, your arms still wrapped around his neck and your head tucked under his chin.
Everyone quickly jumps into the car and before anyone can even buckle, Nancy is peeling off the gravel and onto the main road.
Steve holds you tight to his chest the entire car ride and you don’t miss the way his eyes keep falling back to your leg.
“I’m – I’m sorry,” You whimper against his skin. Steve shakes his head.
“Don’t apologize baby, it’s okay. Everything’s okay, I promise,” He reassures you.
Steve does his best to keep you conscious even as your eyelids grow heavy and begin to drop. Nancy breaks multiple speeding laws getting back to her house and when you finally make it back, he quickly pulls you out of the car and onto the extra bed they pulled into the basement.
Steve holds your hand the entire time Nancy cleans your leg. You were right before – as bad as it was, it definitely looked worse than it was. You squeezed his hand every time the antiseptic burned against your skin and he gently wiped your tears with his thumb.
He whispered sweet reassurances into your ears, planting gentle kisses to your face every time you winced in pain. Nancy managed to clean and dress the wound fairly quickly and once she finished, she steered everyone back upstairs to give you space.
Exhaustion has embedded itself deep in your bones and you gather all your strength to keep looking at Steve. He’s kneeling on the side of the bed, one hand stroking your hair and the other laced with yours.
He looks completely content just watching you for the rest of the night but your guilt hasn’t subsided even a bit.
“Steve,” You whisper so softly, he would’ve missed it if he wasn’t so hyperaware of you.
“What is it, baby?”
Your wide eyes stare up at him. “I’m sorry,”
Tears line your eyes again, hot and unyielding, and your lip wobbles. His eyes soften at you and he moves to lay beside you instead. He settles beside you, carefully pulling you into his chest.
“You don’t have to –.”
“Yes I do,” You interrupt. Your voice is slow, but he lets you talk. “I didn’t – I didn’t mean it, Steve, I swear. I was just scared. I’ve only ever needed Max and now it just feels like I’m losing her and I was scared if I admitted I needed you, I would lose you too,” You confess, tears staining your cheeks.
His face twists in pain at the sight of you crying. He raises his hand to cup your cheek. “I didn’t mean what I said either,” He begins. “About you being better off alone. I was angry and I tried to hurt you back but it wasn’t true baby, not for a second. I’m sorry,”
His thumb glides across the skin of your cheek. You lean into his touch, brows pulled tight.
“I don’t want to be alone anymore, Steve.”
He nods, his eyes glossing over. “You’re not baby, you have me,”
You stare up at him and every instinct to shut him out disappears. “I need you, Steve. More than anything and I don’t ever want to lose you,”
He exhales sharply. “You will never lose me, okay? I swear to you. It doesn’t matter what’s going on – you’ll have me until the end of fucking time, baby,”
Without another word, you bury yourself back in his chest and cling to him like second skin.
For twenty years, you convinced yourself you didn’t need anybody else. You convinced yourself that accepting help meant admitting failure. But now, as you lay against Steve’s chest – completely bare and vulnerable to him – fully allowing him to take care of you, it all changed.
You finally admitted that you needed him and the world didn't end. He kept his promise. He was here, and he always would be.
summary: every terrible memory comes rushing back to you after you accidentally break one of steve’s plates.
warnings: mentions of past abuse, domestic abuse (not including steve), glass breaking, minor injury, ptsd, anxiety, panic attack, little angst, crying, steve is so sweet, fluff, happy ending of course
word count: 2.1k
Sometime you felt like being with Steve was too good to be true. He was unlike anybody you’ve ever known. He was loyal and kind, always affectionate and respectful beyond words. He understood you in ways you weren’t even sure you did yourself.
As achingly sweet as he was, you practically lived in anxiety. It was like you were always waiting for the other shoe to drop. You waited, shoulders tense, for his kind hearted demeanor to finally switch on a day you upset him – maybe even only inconvenienced.
But he never did.
Steve never raised his voice – never raised his hand to you – he never dished out silent treatment when he was upset. He never demanded unrealistic expectations from you. He never asked you to change yourself or try to stuff you in a box.
It should’ve felt good. Safe.
It just made you feel more on edge. Like his inevitable blow up would be worse than anything your mind could have ever conjured up.
None of this was his fault, not even a little bit. You had your disgusting ex-boyfriend to thank for it. He was the one who littered your skin with bruises and wounds. He was the one who would kick you to the ground over and over and over again for saying the wrong thing at dinner. He was the one who told you you’d never deserve anything more than what he gave you.
And even though you were years out of it, and you did most of the work to unlearn every cruel word he instilled in your brain, it was hard to let it all go.
Steve knew about your past and not once did he let it affect the way he saw you. He didn’t see you as fragile or weak – he saw you for you. Strong willed and determined.
But was it really enough?
Today was Steve’s first day as head coach for the middle school baseball team. His promotion from elementary school to middle had been something he worked the past year for.
You couldn’t have been more proud of him but words didn’t feel like enough. So while he was at practice, you spent the day fixing up your shared apartment. You paid attention to every detail as you cleaned, you hung adorable baseball decorations around the room and you put every ounce of love into the dinner you made for him.
You had three pans across the stove at any given time, your fingers raw and numb from all the chopping. Your back ached from leaning over the stove but you knew it would all be worth it to see his face when he walked in.
He spent so much time making other people happy, you wanted to do the same for him.
Dinner was just about finished, you made him his favorite dish of yours – pot roast with some mashed potatoes and veggies on the side. The last thing was to plate it and fix the table.
In the cabinet, there was a set of beautiful glass dishes you and Steve were gifted by his mom. They were old china – beautifully hand painted with blue and white. You never had the chance to use them yet, but today felt like the perfect opportunity.
You carefully pulled two plates out and perfectly placed the food across the glass. You set his side of the table and then yours and with a quick glance at the clock, you had just enough time to yank your apron off to reveal the pretty red dress Steve bought you a few weeks ago.
Only a few minutes later, Steve walked through the door. Dressed in his blue and white coaching polo, paired with his khaki pants. His brown hair was floppy atop his head, his stubborn curl leaning over his forehead.
He looked tired – undoubtedly from the warm sun, but his eyes lit up the second they saw you. He gently shut the door behind him, but paused in the doorway as he took in the sight around him. The smell of food hit him first. His eyes danced around the room – taking in the decorations, the cleanliness, the beautiful table you set with candles and flowers alongside your dinner.
Then at you.
Your ridiculously gorgeous frame standing beside the table, wearing the dress he bought you. Your hands clasped in front of you, a shy smile ghosting on your lips.
“Hi Steve,” You murmured at him and he didn’t even try to bite back his grin.
“Hey baby,” He replied, finally finding his strength to move. He tossed his keys on the dish beside him and in a few short steps, he ended up right in front of you.
His hands found their home at your waist, his thumb stroking over the fabric there. Your arms follow, wrapping around his shoulders.
“What’s all this, hm?” His voice is so gentle and full of love. You smile up at him and quickly peck his lips before pulling away from him. You easily steer him to his seat across from you. You find your own seat immediately after, a smile still coating your mouth.
“This..” You gesture towards the plate in front of him. “Is to show you how proud I am of you, Steve. You worked so hard for your promotion and you’re gonna do great,”
Steve felt his chest warm with adoration as you stared at him. He was almost at a loss for words.
You were too damn sweet.
He smiled back at you and raised his hand across the table to grab yours.
“It’s beautiful baby, just like you,” His words make your cheeks heat up and he chuckles. “I love it honey, thank you.”
Your smile widens and you gesture towards the food “Now eat, it’s gonna get cold,”
Steve nods quickly, his hand slipping from yours to dig in. The two of you ate together, talking about how his first day went and how much he loved it already.
He told you about the kids on the team and some of the parents he was able to meet. He told you what he planned to focus on first with them and you could see that twinkle in his eye every time he talked about it.
It made your heart feel like it was going to burst.
When you finished dinner, you stood to gather the dishes but he stopped you before you could.
“Nuh-uh,” He hummed, rising to his feet and easily stealing the glasses from you. “I can do this,”
You frown up at him. “But it’s your day, Steve,”
He stacks the plates over each other, holding them with both hands as he presses a sweet kiss to your temple.
“You cooked all of this. The least I could do is wash the dishes,”
You fight back a smile as he walks further into the kitchen and to the sink. He places them down before his fingers begin to unbutton the sleeves of his shirt, carefully rolling them up to his elbow.
You bite your lip to suppress the grin threatening to make it’s appearance.
“Okay, but I can still help,” You declared. Steve says something from the sink that you can’t quite catch as you grab the drinking glasses from the table.
Both of them sit in each palm as you turn to walk back to the sink. What you didn’t account for was the chair pushed closer than you thought and before you can stop it, your foot catches on the wooden leg. Your knee buckles and in an attempt to keep yourself from falling, the cup slips from your grasp and shatters across the hardwood floor.
Your ears ring.
In an instant, you’re on your knees, huddled over the broken glass. Instinctively, your hands reach out to grab the pieces of glass as if you could somehow put it all back together before Steve turned around.
Suddenly, it was like you were no longer with Steve and instead, you were back in that awful house. You could feel your body trembling as your mind echoed with nasty thoughts, all by the sound of your ex boyfriend’s voice.
Look at what you did.
You can’t do anything right.
Do you even know how much that cost?
Your eyes stung with tears and your breathing hitched. This wasn’t just a cup – this was gorgeous art Steve was gifted by his mother and you ruined it.
You heard the sound of plates clattering in the sink and Steve’s footsteps getting closer.
This was it. This was when it was going to happen.
Your stomach was in knots as your hands quickly grabbed pieces of the glass. You couldn’t stop your hands from clenching around it but the fear pumping in your veins had you unable to feel the way it pierced your skin.
You could just barely see his shoes enter your vision. The sound of him calling your name was almost clouded.
“I’m – I’m so – I’m so sorry, Steve. It was an accident, I – I swear,” Your stuttering voice was all you could focus on.
Then Steve bent down and you physically braced for the impact. You didn’t really know what kind – from his hand, his shoe, his elbow – whatever he chose really.
But that didn’t happen. Of course not.
Steve gently wrapped his palms around your arms, pulling you upright until you were sitting in the chair furthest from the broken glass. Your hands still clutched the pieces tight, little specs of blood spilling from the sides.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Steve cooed, gingerly raising his palms to cup your cheeks. “Are you okay, baby? What happened?”
You don’t dare to meet his gaze. You keep your eyes locked on your trembling hands. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to break it. I’ll – I’ll fix it. I can – I can fix it,” You say frantically, tears streaming down your face in rapid succession.
Steve frowns and pulls your face upwards to face him. He says your name gently but firm. “Hey, I don’t care about the cup,”
Finally, you look up at him.
Your vision is clouded from the hot tears lining your eyes but you can see him. His face is twisted in confusion, his mouth pulled down into a frown and his eyes swirl with concern.
He looks almost relieved that you’re looking at him again.
“It’s just a cup, okay? It’s not a big deal,”
You shake your head, lip wobbling. “But it was from your mom. It was important and I – I broke it,” You sobbed.
Steve held you tighter. “Baby, breathe,” He says softly. “I promise you it’s okay. It was an accident.”
Your shoulders shake as more tears pour from you. Steve glances down at your hands and sees the way you’re clinging to the glass pieces. He mutters a curse before grabbing a wet towel and carefully forcing your fingers away from your palm.
He winces at the sight of your nicked skin and begins to clean up the skin. He keeps his eyes on his task as he begins to talk again.
“Baby, I need you to understand something,” His voice is firm but so tender. You blink through your tears and look back at him. “I will never hurt you, and I will never yell at you, especially not over a broken cup,”
Steve carefully plucks the pieces of glass out of your hold and throws them into the pile of the rest. He places the towel over your palm and uses both of his to interlace your fingers. His brown eyes meet yours.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, baby. Accidents happen and it’s okay to get scared but I want you to know that you never have to be afraid of me. You’re safe baby, I promise you that.”
By the time he finishes, a new wave of tears have washed over you but not from anxiety – from love. From the love you’re overwhelmed with for him. From the aching difference in the way he treats you than anybody else.
You want to believe him so much – you do believe him, even when it’s easy to fall back into your bad spot.
He looks up at you from where he kneels in front of you. He’s careful in his movements, hyperaware of anything they could set you off. You suck in a shaky breath and wrap your arms around his neck.
His arms wrap around you easily, caging you into him and his warmth. He whispers sweet things in your hair, lips grazing across your temple.
“I – I love you,” You whimper against the skin of his neck.
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summary: every terrible memory comes rushing back to you after you accidentally break one of steve’s plates.
warnings: mentions of past abuse, domestic abuse (not including steve), glass breaking, minor injury, ptsd, anxiety, panic attack, little angst, crying, steve is so sweet, fluff, happy ending of course
word count: 2.1k
Sometime you felt like being with Steve was too good to be true. He was unlike anybody you’ve ever known. He was loyal and kind, always affectionate and respectful beyond words. He understood you in ways you weren’t even sure you did yourself.
As achingly sweet as he was, you practically lived in anxiety. It was like you were always waiting for the other shoe to drop. You waited, shoulders tense, for his kind hearted demeanor to finally switch on a day you upset him – maybe even only inconvenienced.
But he never did.
Steve never raised his voice – never raised his hand to you – he never dished out silent treatment when he was upset. He never demanded unrealistic expectations from you. He never asked you to change yourself or try to stuff you in a box.
It should’ve felt good. Safe.
It just made you feel more on edge. Like his inevitable blow up would be worse than anything your mind could have ever conjured up.
None of this was his fault, not even a little bit. You had your disgusting ex-boyfriend to thank for it. He was the one who littered your skin with bruises and wounds. He was the one who would kick you to the ground over and over and over again for saying the wrong thing at dinner. He was the one who told you you’d never deserve anything more than what he gave you.
And even though you were years out of it, and you did most of the work to unlearn every cruel word he instilled in your brain, it was hard to let it all go.
Steve knew about your past and not once did he let it affect the way he saw you. He didn’t see you as fragile or weak – he saw you for you. Strong willed and determined.
But was it really enough?
Today was Steve’s first day as head coach for the middle school baseball team. His promotion from elementary school to middle had been something he worked the past year for.
You couldn’t have been more proud of him but words didn’t feel like enough. So while he was at practice, you spent the day fixing up your shared apartment. You paid attention to every detail as you cleaned, you hung adorable baseball decorations around the room and you put every ounce of love into the dinner you made for him.
You had three pans across the stove at any given time, your fingers raw and numb from all the chopping. Your back ached from leaning over the stove but you knew it would all be worth it to see his face when he walked in.
He spent so much time making other people happy, you wanted to do the same for him.
Dinner was just about finished, you made him his favorite dish of yours – pot roast with some mashed potatoes and veggies on the side. The last thing was to plate it and fix the table.
In the cabinet, there was a set of beautiful glass dishes you and Steve were gifted by his mom. They were old china – beautifully hand painted with blue and white. You never had the chance to use them yet, but today felt like the perfect opportunity.
You carefully pulled two plates out and perfectly placed the food across the glass. You set his side of the table and then yours and with a quick glance at the clock, you had just enough time to yank your apron off to reveal the pretty red dress Steve bought you a few weeks ago.
Only a few minutes later, Steve walked through the door. Dressed in his blue and white coaching polo, paired with his khaki pants. His brown hair was floppy atop his head, his stubborn curl leaning over his forehead.
He looked tired – undoubtedly from the warm sun, but his eyes lit up the second they saw you. He gently shut the door behind him, but paused in the doorway as he took in the sight around him. The smell of food hit him first. His eyes danced around the room – taking in the decorations, the cleanliness, the beautiful table you set with candles and flowers alongside your dinner.
Then at you.
Your ridiculously gorgeous frame standing beside the table, wearing the dress he bought you. Your hands clasped in front of you, a shy smile ghosting on your lips.
“Hi Steve,” You murmured at him and he didn’t even try to bite back his grin.
“Hey baby,” He replied, finally finding his strength to move. He tossed his keys on the dish beside him and in a few short steps, he ended up right in front of you.
His hands found their home at your waist, his thumb stroking over the fabric there. Your arms follow, wrapping around his shoulders.
“What’s all this, hm?” His voice is so gentle and full of love. You smile up at him and quickly peck his lips before pulling away from him. You easily steer him to his seat across from you. You find your own seat immediately after, a smile still coating your mouth.
“This..” You gesture towards the plate in front of him. “Is to show you how proud I am of you, Steve. You worked so hard for your promotion and you’re gonna do great,”
Steve felt his chest warm with adoration as you stared at him. He was almost at a loss for words.
You were too damn sweet.
He smiled back at you and raised his hand across the table to grab yours.
“It’s beautiful baby, just like you,” His words make your cheeks heat up and he chuckles. “I love it honey, thank you.”
Your smile widens and you gesture towards the food “Now eat, it’s gonna get cold,”
Steve nods quickly, his hand slipping from yours to dig in. The two of you ate together, talking about how his first day went and how much he loved it already.
He told you about the kids on the team and some of the parents he was able to meet. He told you what he planned to focus on first with them and you could see that twinkle in his eye every time he talked about it.
It made your heart feel like it was going to burst.
When you finished dinner, you stood to gather the dishes but he stopped you before you could.
“Nuh-uh,” He hummed, rising to his feet and easily stealing the glasses from you. “I can do this,”
You frown up at him. “But it’s your day, Steve,”
He stacks the plates over each other, holding them with both hands as he presses a sweet kiss to your temple.
“You cooked all of this. The least I could do is wash the dishes,”
You fight back a smile as he walks further into the kitchen and to the sink. He places them down before his fingers begin to unbutton the sleeves of his shirt, carefully rolling them up to his elbow.
You bite your lip to suppress the grin threatening to make it’s appearance.
“Okay, but I can still help,” You declared. Steve says something from the sink that you can’t quite catch as you grab the drinking glasses from the table.
Both of them sit in each palm as you turn to walk back to the sink. What you didn’t account for was the chair pushed closer than you thought and before you can stop it, your foot catches on the wooden leg. Your knee buckles and in an attempt to keep yourself from falling, the cup slips from your grasp and shatters across the hardwood floor.
Your ears ring.
In an instant, you’re on your knees, huddled over the broken glass. Instinctively, your hands reach out to grab the pieces of glass as if you could somehow put it all back together before Steve turned around.
Suddenly, it was like you were no longer with Steve and instead, you were back in that awful house. You could feel your body trembling as your mind echoed with nasty thoughts, all by the sound of your ex boyfriend’s voice.
Look at what you did.
You can’t do anything right.
Do you even know how much that cost?
Your eyes stung with tears and your breathing hitched. This wasn’t just a cup – this was gorgeous art Steve was gifted by his mother and you ruined it.
You heard the sound of plates clattering in the sink and Steve’s footsteps getting closer.
This was it. This was when it was going to happen.
Your stomach was in knots as your hands quickly grabbed pieces of the glass. You couldn’t stop your hands from clenching around it but the fear pumping in your veins had you unable to feel the way it pierced your skin.
You could just barely see his shoes enter your vision. The sound of him calling your name was almost clouded.
“I’m – I’m so – I’m so sorry, Steve. It was an accident, I – I swear,” Your stuttering voice was all you could focus on.
Then Steve bent down and you physically braced for the impact. You didn’t really know what kind – from his hand, his shoe, his elbow – whatever he chose really.
But that didn’t happen. Of course not.
Steve gently wrapped his palms around your arms, pulling you upright until you were sitting in the chair furthest from the broken glass. Your hands still clutched the pieces tight, little specs of blood spilling from the sides.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Steve cooed, gingerly raising his palms to cup your cheeks. “Are you okay, baby? What happened?”
You don’t dare to meet his gaze. You keep your eyes locked on your trembling hands. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to break it. I’ll – I’ll fix it. I can – I can fix it,” You say frantically, tears streaming down your face in rapid succession.
Steve frowns and pulls your face upwards to face him. He says your name gently but firm. “Hey, I don’t care about the cup,”
Finally, you look up at him.
Your vision is clouded from the hot tears lining your eyes but you can see him. His face is twisted in confusion, his mouth pulled down into a frown and his eyes swirl with concern.
He looks almost relieved that you’re looking at him again.
“It’s just a cup, okay? It’s not a big deal,”
You shake your head, lip wobbling. “But it was from your mom. It was important and I – I broke it,” You sobbed.
Steve held you tighter. “Baby, breathe,” He says softly. “I promise you it’s okay. It was an accident.”
Your shoulders shake as more tears pour from you. Steve glances down at your hands and sees the way you’re clinging to the glass pieces. He mutters a curse before grabbing a wet towel and carefully forcing your fingers away from your palm.
He winces at the sight of your nicked skin and begins to clean up the skin. He keeps his eyes on his task as he begins to talk again.
“Baby, I need you to understand something,” His voice is firm but so tender. You blink through your tears and look back at him. “I will never hurt you, and I will never yell at you, especially not over a broken cup,”
Steve carefully plucks the pieces of glass out of your hold and throws them into the pile of the rest. He places the towel over your palm and uses both of his to interlace your fingers. His brown eyes meet yours.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, baby. Accidents happen and it’s okay to get scared but I want you to know that you never have to be afraid of me. You’re safe baby, I promise you that.”
By the time he finishes, a new wave of tears have washed over you but not from anxiety – from love. From the love you’re overwhelmed with for him. From the aching difference in the way he treats you than anybody else.
You want to believe him so much – you do believe him, even when it’s easy to fall back into your bad spot.
He looks up at you from where he kneels in front of you. He’s careful in his movements, hyperaware of anything they could set you off. You suck in a shaky breath and wrap your arms around his neck.
His arms wrap around you easily, caging you into him and his warmth. He whispers sweet things in your hair, lips grazing across your temple.
“I – I love you,” You whimper against the skin of his neck.
crashing out over joe keery so bad rn it’s not even funny. i need him so bad. he’s literally the definition of boyfriend omg.
genuinely pls refrain from mentioning joe keery around me rn i actually can’t take it im CLIMBING THE WALLS RIGHT NOW. im sick to my stomach over not having him like what do you mean that’s literally my boyfriend???
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