Expressive

I quit gambling before I lost all my money tonight

So I know something is wrong

Tonight

I

Watched a movie where two people fall in love but they can’t speak the same language it’s called

Bottle Rocket

Sometimes I feel like that.

I haven’t finished the movie yet so I don’t know how it ends

I can hear something dying in the woods outside tonight as I

Smoke my cigarette

It’s something wild maybe a possum or a raccoon or a cat

I could walk out into the woods and look for it

But my cats outside with me on the balcony

and

It’s so humid

You have to try it a few times.

Eventually it’ll

flicker…

That’s it.

All it takes too.

Be engulfed by the heatwave of humanity:

The downtrodden convinced otherwise.

Seek nothing and

Be inspired.

As if it wasn’t possible

As if not writing poetry means

Not writing poetry

Means

Writing poetry

Or at least I’ve convinced myself.

That seems to be all it takes too.

What if that was it

If that was it

What if

Drinking wasn’t a problem

I guess I wouldn’t know

Professional, functional, suit and tie junctional

Hello world it’s me Mr. Punctual

Every hour

On the hour

Hours

And

Hours

Desolve.

And the flowers keep blooming

, But I don’t notice

I don’t know

If anyone does

Notice

It’s winter.

The flowers aren’t here

Somewhere but not here

So I got a promotion in January

That’s means more money for:

Jewelry, alcohol,

flowers

I bought some flowers in January

I put them in my living room

A promotion

Soon below my picture of the ocean

I’ll sit

And I’ll realize

Here we are

I signed up for it

I guess.

Goddamn footsteps

Hey boss.

Prince,

What does that make me?

I’d prefer the Jester

If I get any say

There’s a guy

On the smoke deck

He get’s all

The say

Because nobody wants it

Out there

Meandering luggable lungs

It almost makes you think

As the drunks do

Puffing on my cigarette

Lingering over my vodka

And I began to contemplate

How every window has two views

How there’s no reason

And left to our own devices....

My neighbors burst into their yard

Yelling

It’s too early

So I lose it

I lost it

There were thoughts I never thought

But now there’s chaos

Lost

As everyone else is

Dusty things made of

Leather bound novels

Unfinished atop shelves Unfinished

Begging for a nail, a mark

Especially this time of year

I reach in looking

For..

..

And it’s summer all over again

As long as I am by the fire of this woman

It’s summer

All over

Little me, little mixed up, in a big ol' bag of wheaties-

Munched on by a horse with the appetite of a moth.

Pickled Moonlight Bug

, you know,

Lightning bugs the fuck out of me

Lighting bugs

The fuck

Out of me

Inside my own outstretched veins which branch off indiscreetly

It's like these bugs have hearts and I feel their pulses in me

The chirping in my ears mixes voluminously in tow

As I'm pulled apart from bed, an I descend deep into glow

The sewery veins

The sparks

Echo louder

As I go

Seperents separate secrets based on weight instead of volume

In artery caverns clouds form

so solemn

As sirens call them

and they echo

and they echo

and the echo

It's the faucet

It's the steam

Billowing out like smoke stacks the words of Shakespeare:

Hovering through the fog and filthy air:

Lightning bugs looking for love:

Flickering.

As I too, flicker

I like how cigarette smoke sticks together with an exhale

Sure it disperses but high enough

There are clouds

Uncouth and diffuse

You can see for miles

Even when you can't you know

It's still there:

Broken by mountains turned into rain

Paralleing insanity are those who stay sane

Me and my sweet drops of lonely nicotine pain

A drought's but a month

A desert's not a plain

I await as a cactus in this death valley so vain

Eager for the return of my maiden mistress

The temptress of sirens; the muse of the greats

Echoing inside me; cavernously are her veins

Stretching beyond time

Longing beyond wait

I puff on this cigarette with no haste or debate

Surrounded by flowers this early yet bloom

Poetry helps

Cigarettes too

But

Not always

It's dusk

There's candlelight flickering out of a window

My unequal strides mixed with heavy and soft breaths sometimes little steps

Paint my silhouette on the sidewalk.

The first block I'm a lion

The second block a gazelle

The third block I embodied lots of things most notably a dog chasing it's tail

Suprisigly I never fell, not even once

Not even when I picked up flowers I only stumbled over my words once or twice

When I did catch my breath it was scented

daisy river bend cave cool

I tried some to permeate permanence in bones

Carving initials between trees that felt more like home than home

Creaking and cawing the sky and me yawning over cigarette smoke clouds

All day long

It was winter but felt like summer

So that's how I know

That this candlelight flicker will become bonfire blue

Engulfing hue after hue of me and her too

Jaded glass into lockets meant for forever pockets

We are Emerald and Peridot

Yet so unobtainable if seeked to be bought

Me and you a lit candle no store carries

Only wind

From tree to tree to help the songbirds sing