updated murasaki ref + intro since its been awhile 😭 she is like, 9 years old now which is nuts. and also made a cynthia ref + intro now too since i haven't, and they've become my total sweetheart
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wahhh it’s finally done… it’s late BUT!! i wrote something for wolcred week!!
Pairing: Warrior of Light/Thancred
Tags: post-ARR, mutual pining/pre-relationship (like WAY pre-relationship) (they both assume their feelings are one-sided and they won’t (overtly) say how they feel until almost the end of Shadowbringers), character study, Thancred POV, asexual Warrior of Light, also they’re chronically ill which adds to the context but isn’t directly mentioned in this one
Warnings: brief/non-explicit mentions of sex, ARR spoilers, discussion of pretty common relationship insecurities for (romantic) aces
Thancred tries to make sense of mixed signals.
Two days had passed since Thancred last saw Robin. They were accounted for—other Scions had spoken to them—so there was no need to fear for their safety. What he was worried about had more to do with their last conversation.
How could you just toy with their feelings like that? Do you have any idea what that feels like?
You’re awful, Thancred.
They walked away before he had a chance to respond, leaving him surrounded by a crowd of his jilted lovers, along with a number of his fellow Scions watching the scene unfold. He looked for them after the commotion died down, but…
He knew they’d been spending nearly all of their waking hours training as of late—but he also knew that they (unlike him) never missed a meal or a full night’s sleep, and he normally would have at least seen them heading to bed. The more time passed, the more certain he was that they were avoiding him.
He knew he’d hurt them, though he was at a lose as to why this upset them so much. Not to say he wasn’t in the wrong; he had no illusions about the number of hearts he’d broken. But he would have expected them to simply tease him for getting what he deserved and move on.
The thought that they might have been jealous crossed his mind, but he quickly dismissed it as wishful thinking. He distinctly recalled their response to his lavish praise and admission that he was “quite taken with” them, when he asked them to join the Scions: an Oh, thanks! I think? with an oblivious smile. All other attempts to flirt with them had garnered the same reaction.
He also recalled the casual chatter they’d shared one evening over drinks (tea, in Robin’s case) with a few other Scions. Someone—he was too inebriated at the time to remember who—broached the subject of romantic (and… other) history.
—
“Well? What about you, Robin?”
Thancred tried to pretend he wasn’t listening with embarrassingly keen interest.
“Me?”
“Aye, I’m sure all of Eorzea’s curious about what sort of person the Warrior of Light goes to bed with.”
“Come on, don’t put them on the spot like that!”
“It’s fine, I don't care,” they spoke up with a nonchalant half-smile. “I think all of Eorzea will be pretty disappointed, though, considering that I’m about as interested in ‘going to bed with’ someone as drinking pond water from the Tangle. …Well, assuming you didn’t mean it in the literal sense.”
“Oh? So you’ve never had any lovers?”
“Aye, well, I’ve had plenty of experience being in love, but…” They trailed off for a moment, continuing when they noticed the expectant eyes on them. “Ah, I mean,” they shook their head, grinning sheepishly, “honestly, I’m no good with that stuff. I get flustered pretty easily, and from what I can tell most people would… expect things from me that I can’t give them, if I ever did have that sort of relationship. You know? It’s easier to just say nothing.”
There was a brief pause. Well, that’s a sad way to look at it.
“Oh, don’t say that! People bed people they don’t love all the time, right, Thancred?”
“R-right.” He kept his eyes fixed on his cup even as Yda elbowed him playfully.
“So I don’t see why it can’t be the other way around!”
Thancred cleared his throat. “Indeed,” he turned towards Robin, trying desperately to regain some of his usual bravado. “Robin is quite a catch. Anyone would be lucky to be the object of their affections.”
For a split second their eyes widened and their ears lay flat—before that familiar polite smile returned to their face again. “Ah, well, thank you for saying so.”
—
Taking note of others’ actions and habits, and using that knowledge to decipher their intentions was a skill he took great pride in. So it troubled him to realize that, despite their usual candor—and despite him paying even more attention to them than he cared to admit—he could not always read them.
But…
He remembered more. The way they called his name, on the verge of tears, when he finally woke up as himself after being in Lahabrea’s thrall for so long. How they ran towards him to hug him, stopping short and apologizing when they remembered how serious his injuries were. (How he hugged them anyway.) How insistent they were that what Lahabrea did wasn’t his fault, how they always always asked if he’d eaten enough and gotten enough sleep and…
Whatever the nature of their feelings, it was clear they cared a lot for him—whether or not he deserved it. He needed to talk to them.
—
Three days since he last saw Robin. He’d impulsively bought flowers from the marketplace—ones he remembered seeing Robin admiring before—and only now began to question the wisdom of giving flowers in this situation. His flirtatious tendencies were what got him into this, after all.
…No, surely they wouldn’t take it that way. He knew they had an interest in botany—this was a simple gift of something they liked, with no unintended hidden meaning.
…He wondered how familiar they were with flower language. If it would be better or worse if they knew. Or if he would even find them before the flowers wilted.
Something red moved in the corner of his vision, tearing him from his thoughts.
He’d been absentmindedly pacing around Revenant’s Toll, and he somehow wandered outside the gates. On instinct he reached for his daggers, silently cursing himself for letting his guard down, before his eyes could focus in the direction of the movement.
What he saw made him drop his guard again.
The Warrior of Light, dancing in the fields of Mor Dhona. Swift, graceful movements like a bird in flight. Ferocity he’d seen many times in the battlefield mixed with an exuberance he’d only seen brief flashes of. Red hair like fire in the sunlight.
He was so stunned that he forgot that he, too, was out in the open, clearly visible from where Robin was.
“Ack!”
They startled and lost their footing mid-turn. Idiot. Of course they weren’t expecting to be watched if they were practicing out here. He rushed over to check on them.
“Sorry, are you alright?” He knelt down beside them.
“It’s fine… Falling safely is second nature for me…”
Despite saying that, their voice sounded quite strained. They did, in fact, manage to avoid any visible injuries, so Thancred assumed they were probably just shaken from the fall.
Thancred tried to regain his composure as Robin sat up on the ground. “My apologies for scaring you—it was not my intention to watch you from the shadows, or to interrupt your practice. I suppose I was so transfixed by the beauty of your dance that I forgot myself.”
They looked away, their eyes downcast, and said nothing.
Perhaps he should just…
“Here,” he holds out the flowers to them, not quite making eye contact. “A… peace offering.”
“…Oh!” Robin throws their hands up, looking somewhat panicked. “No, no, I should be the one apologizing! I mean, it had nothing to do with me! Forget I said anything. Gods, I’m really embarrassed that I acted like that…”
Odd. He certainly hadn’t anticipated them apologizing. And—nothing to do with them?
“I… did flirt with you a few times?” he offered.
“Oh,” they smiled apologetically. “It’s fine, I knew you weren’t being serious.”
He wondered if he imagined the bitterness in their voice.
He wanted to deny it. I assure you I am always serious when it comes to love!
…Something told him that wouldn’t go over well. Besides that, they seemed eager to set the matter aside. And yet…
“…Do I really seem that insincere?” Thancred scratched his head.
Robin’s face quickly cycled between looks of disbelief, confusion, derision, and genuine concern before settling on something between a nervous smile and a pitying grimace. “Um…?”
That was a yes, then.
It shouldn’t have surprised him—they were far from the first to hear his exaggerated praise and dramatic proclamations of love and assume he didn’t mean a word of it. The fact that he’d said the exact same things to so many didn’t help his credibility, either. Nor did the fact that he was less than forthcoming about the fact that there even were others.
It was only natural. But it stung.
“Sorry…” Robin finally speaks, apparently sensing his distress.
Thancred shook his head, putting on his most reassuring smile. “Pray do not apologize for being honest. I am glad to know where I stand.”
This did not appear to reassure them, and they continue to avoid his gaze.
Thancred cleared his throat. “Listen…”
They finally looked him in the eyes, albeit apprehensively. Despite all his experience gazing lovingly into the eyes of countless others, meeting Robin’s gaze almost overwhelmed him.
“You… mean a lot to me, Robin.” Without realizing, he leaned just a bit closer. “Even if you never believe another word I say, I hope you know that.”
They hung their head slightly, looking up at him through their eyelashes. “I… I do.”
A gentle chuckle. “Glad to hear it,” he reached over and softly ruffled their hair. They blinked rapidly and averted their eyes, but hesitantly leaned into the touch.
They lingered for a moment before Thancred continued . “Then…” Robin looked back at him as he pulled his hand back and picked up the flowers again. “Will you accept these? For your performance earlier.”
“Ah,” their ears perked up, then they smiled. “Sure.” They began to reach both hands forward, then pulled their left hand back, accepting the flowers with their right hand. Did they…?
“Heehee, it’s been a while since I’ve performed for an audience.” They were cradling the flowers in both arms now.
“Oh? An accomplished dancer as well as Eorzea’s champion, and a formidable martial artist besides?”
“Well, you know,” they tilted their head slightly to one side, still grinning, “when I was little I really wanted to be an idol.”
“Really? Not an adventurer?”
“That too!”
“Does that mean you’re a singer as well? Perhaps we could sing together some time.”
“Oh, I mean,” they scratched their head. “I’m pretty out of practice with that…”
“Well, I’d love to hear it regardless! But I understand if you’d prefer not to. I know full well how daunting it can be to let your voice be heard.”
“I’d like to. Just…”
“You need more time?”
“Right…”
“Then… how about a dance? At the banquet, I mean.”
“Sure! Oh, but…” They grimace slightly. “I should probably warn you that I’m not all that good at dancing with a partner.”
“Ha! Worry not, I’ve lead my fair share of ladies with two left feet before. I assure you I can withstand having my toes stepped on.”
“Heehee, no taking that back later!” Their smile was overly sweet and more than a little ominous. Though he began to fear for the structural integrity of his toes, seeing them joking around again made his heart leap. Gods help me, it’s love, isn’t it?
- first the flower language stuff: gardenias symbolize “hidden love” and “purity of intention” in flower language; taking flowers with the right hand signifies acceptance of the message the flowers are supposed to convey, while taking them with the left hand means rejection
- decided to just have thancred refer to her as “yda” despite the fact that i’m pretty sure he was included in the “yeah we all knew you weren’t her” thing mostly for simplicity’s sake, considering how briefly she’s mentioned ^^;;
- there was going to be another scene at the end of the fic with their last conversation before getting separated at the banquet, this time from robin’s pov, but the rest of it was already taking longer than i wanted OTL parts of that are already written though so hoping to actually post that at some point!
- already mentioned it in the tags of the original post, but to elaborate a bit on the “not jealousy but a secret worse thing” bit: it’s a combination of the fact that they have feelings for him and really want him to like them back, but absolutely hate the perceived insincerity/shallowness of how he treats people he’s romantically interested in (+ the whole “i’m sex-repulsed asexual incapable of having a normal romantic relationship and he clearly IS interested in sex so it’d never work out so what’s the point :(“ thing). so they’re basically like “it’s fine!! i’ll keep my feelings to myself and just get over it :’)” and then they don’t get over it
- the reason robin is throwing themself into training lately is because they lost the blessing of light, which had been helping to keep their symptoms at bay + helping them recover from injuries faster than normal, so they’re trying to compensate for suddenly feeling as weak as they did before
- originally i was gonna have them picking up the dancer job where the starter level coincides with the story (so end of heavensward/start of stormblood), BUT this felt like a good point in the story for them to start learning it
- dancing was something they always loved but was really therapeutic (physically and mentally) for them during the years before they ran off to become an adventurer, when they were really isolated because of their illness. so given the opportunity to learn a type of dance they can use in combat they’d jump at the chance, especially at this point in the story
- also yeah they are gonna pick up bard skills eventually (at least the music related ones—their aim is actually pretty bad LOL this goes for dancer too, i imagine them using the dance skills but not so much the throwing chakrams part). not sure when that happens in the story yet though
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after i made my wooden doll, i was musing about what other unusual materials i might use for a bjd. my partner suggested paper, and also gave me access to their craft paper collection -> i made this.
she is almost entirely made of paper & cardboard. the joints are wooden beads & worbla, because i did figure out a way to make ball joints out of paper, but it really was not worth the effort. all her limbs have tubes of rolled-up cardboard in them to keep the structure sturdy, and the origami flowers are glued around those.
this is extremely different from any doll i've made before, and i had so much fun working with pretty papers & figuring out how to turn them into a poseable 3d object.
thinking once again about thancred, knowing how disastrous it was the last time solkgeim broke her glasses, having a spare pair made on the first. thinking about her and her needs like that. carrying it around for five years, because it's the closest thing he has to a memento of her- he brought nothing from the source with him, after all.
and then, when solkgeim does need the glasses, and she recognizes that he thought about it a lot to even have them made in the first place- he's so shy and embarrassed about it. it wasn't meant to be some grand gesture, he just... wanted to help. wanted to make her life easier. didn't want her to feel so useless and lost again.
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funny thing about sa2 is it means tails canonically had a phase where he was just constantly in a mech for some reason. most kids have an emo phase or something but my son is special
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