Clairevoire Drew Dog Food

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

The first attested cat in Japan was given to a young 9th century emperor and his diary about it includes such gems as 'I affixed a bow about its neck, but it did not remain for long.", "The color of the fur is peerless. None could find the words to describe it, although one said it was reminiscent of the deepest ink.", "When it lies down, it curls in a circle like a coin. You cannot see its feet. It’s as if it were circular Bi disk." and "I am convinced it is superior to all other cats.” Basically posting about how his void is the best little void and so good at getting really round

another reason this is the only social media site i give a fuck to actually use is because you're allowed to add links to text instead of just having to paste a url into the body of your post like some kind of caveman.

literally just add more garlic

don't infantilise yourself. you are not a child who needs an adult to make your decisions for you. you are a splendid and magnificent autocrat and you are consulting your trusted advisors. you are exercising great wisdom by inviting an expert to give their opinion before making your ruling. often the path of wisdom is to say "good morning, I'm trying to [perform task] and I have a question about [aspect], can you tell me who I should speak to for advice?" before you do it. sometimes the path of wisdom is to hire a plumber. there are times when you cannot do things for yourself but that doesn't mean you are not an adult. you don't need a grown-up. you need a specialist.

do you ever think about how sometimes it just... takes one random message? and suddenly you find yourself with a best friend or in constant conversation with someone who lives on the other side of the world but is just as much of a freak as you are or maybe you find yourself in love with someone without a last name but with so much kindness and affection in their words and presence. crazy how life and love and friendship just happen

one man's hyperfixation is another man's blocked tag

happy pride month to the fuck tree I am absolutely certain

Gomez and Morticia Addams got divorced. I woke up mortified and with a sense of inexplicable dread.

you literally don’t need any other plot and i would watch the movie

This. All of this.

Wednesday offers to help with split custody of Pugsley. her suggestion involved a big table saw

They fight over who gets to hire the expensive big-firm lawyer and who gets to hire the up-and-coming rookie divorce lawyer. It's a whole Thing.

The up and coming lawyer is Thing?

If they ever do a second season of the Among Us cartoon they 100% need to riff on how the kill animations in the source material imply that there are multiple unrelated types of impostors and play it up like it's another alien body-snatcher situation, then the actual killer turns out to be, like, a guy with a knife.