It really annoys me that the same people who love mentally ill people in the media (when they are shown in βpositiveβ light) are the same ones that will hate me. Like I have more than one personality disorders. Like Girl Interrupted, the characters are adored. Itβs just we are kind of quirky in that. It isnβt like itβs completely inaccurate but thereβs something about it. Like I experience all of the symptoms that they do, I can have an unstable identity and when I do that, Iβm just confusing and manipulative. They watch how characters have FPs and then stress out when I react about my FP. Because I am real and theyβre just quirky and lovely. Iβm only disgusting and manipulative. When I feel a fear of abandonment, itβs just me being unreasonable and weird but if characters do it, itβs relatable. When people in the media have impulsive behaviour, itβs fun and when itβs self-destructive, you feel sorry for them. What about when I do it? When I self-destruct, people leave and they just think about how Iβm doing it all to myself and think Iβm a monster. My extreme mood swings are too much for people around me but if I was a fictional character then Iβd be fine, Iβd be fun and I would have sympathy from everyone. When they feel anger, maybe they get to recover themselves and rehabilitate their anger. When they have unstable relationships, they can be understood and they can be comforted or they would be if they were real. There is so much more that is excused from characters with BPD but not from real people. I donβt ask to be like this, Iβm ill. It doesnβt excuse my own behaviour and I still need to be held accountable but I am ill. I canβt feel the way you do and I have to understand all the weird things people without personality disorders do but people canβt just think about how things may affect me. Itβs often like people are purposely trying to hurt me and Iβm pretty sure they are. Another example is when people say about psychopaths or sociopaths, how they are attractive and how fictional murderers are cute and psychopathic. I understand murder is not okay, thatβs just an extreme example. When I have no empathy or display symptoms from ASPD, Iβm horrible, manipulative and I donβt deserve to live. Narcissism is used in the media to mean selfish and self-centred. Sometimes Narcissists can be the nicest people you will ever meet. Some HPD symptoms can be loved, such as hyper sexuality and over expressive emotions. But when theyβre real, itβs horrible. Weβre horrible people when we display these symptoms. Weβre promiscuous, we use our body to get what we want. Itβs not alright when actual people do it.
