procrastinating the revolution

just once i wanna put the blade of my sword under a pretty boy’s chin and tilt their head up so i can see both fear and arousal in their eyes is that too much to ask

there’s no words but you know exactly whats goin on

the article includes the term “manologue” which i think is one of the best terms invented this decade

someone edit a CVS receipt in there asking for a friend

put the democracy speech from Angels in America in there

This kinda seems like the perfect date for me though? Like something to drink, Uno, and Bob’s Burgers? But I don’t like people so made it’s just me.

You all really need to get rid of this notion that your partner has to take you somewhere or spend money on you to show their affection. Fast food, lowkey chill time, and staying in are all fine, and sometimes that is all you can do. Spending time together is the point. Not everything needs to be a spectacle to impress your Facebook friends or Instagram followers.

Imagine buying 2 mcchickens & sitting on the couch & calling it a date. Yea ya’ll are spending time together cool. But these are not “dates”

Imagine dismissing quality time with the person you care about as not good enough because they didn’t spend a ton of money on you and you only gauge their affection by how much they’re willing to shell out on your ass.

What the actual fuck is wrong with you people

poor people apparently can’t date, they only vaguely circle each other in misery before mating for life if they can afford a “real marriage”

Nights in are just as relationship-fostering as nights out. Sometimes they’re more so because, hey, you’re not in public, so you can get as rambunctious and affectionate as you damn well please. I love going to restaurants and the theater and such as much as the next person when I save up for it, but like hell I’m gonna devalue a night in of doing whatever I want with my significant other.

I can’t go on a visible date. People will kill me if I am not visibly passable and I can get arrested in North Carolina for using the bathroom of my birth certificate.

reblog if you’d rather have mcdonalds and running water than a single night at the ritz

one of my best ever dates involved cycling to a supermarket in the middle of the night, climbing over the fence round the back of the shop and eating raspberries out of the bin with our bare hands

why would you ask us, a Thomas the Tank Engine autofellatio blog, this

ah yes, the four main food groups: chinese takeaway, coffee, carbohydrates, and pussy

problematic fave

i just want to say that dental dam is a fucking awful term. who the fuck wants to go down on someone and think “this is like being a pussy dentist”. in iceland we call them töfrateppi which means magic carpet and is so much better. thanks for coming to my ted talk