it's a trap!

You know when you clean your face really well and exfoliate and stuff and your face feels ten pounds lighter and clean and kind of raw, that’s how I want my heart to feel

op heard there were two different pronunciations of a famous dutch impressionist painter’s last name and never settled on which pronunciation to use but gogh gogh i guess

Me introducing myself

This cured my mental illness

I’m crying wtf

tell goobert id die for him

You Dont Have A Choice

i think I sent an accidental death threat to Fatboy slim smh i was high as shit and in my head I came up with what couldve easily been fatboy slims comeback hit but I knew i had a tendency to forget shit when I came down so I knew I had a small time window so I needed to contact fatboy slim as quickly as I could to sell him this idea but I only had 140 chars to do it so I thought the best way to tweet it was “@fatboyslim you have 6 hours”

todays mood is making out. I want a tongue in my mouth right fucking now

well have i got some news for you

make your own foot scrub

please stop making me read this

👏CHARACTER👏FLAWS👏ARE👏FUCKING👏IMPORTANT👏

me when someone tells me to stop eating mayo packets like theyre gogurt tubes

you W H A T

He stops and looks both ways?!?

the smell of garlic cooking adds three years to my life and purges me of all evils, cleansing my whole soul

the love ace lesbians found for this post warms my heart mind body and soul and spirit

reblog to make an ace lesbian feel happy

AW GREAT now I’m googling a bunch of extinct megafauna like Arctotherium, Argentavis magnificens, and Sarcosuchus imperator

If I had pictures of size comparisons between an Irish Elk and a human being I’d put those here because ho damn.