Welcome, I've been expecting you.

i love the phrase "cruel and unusual." not only is what you're doing mean but it's also quite frankly fucking bizarre

wtf is “you’re cute”?? i want to bewitch someone body and soul.

fish want me women divorce me

Fish want women to divorce me

fish are sabotaging my romantic relationships

sorry i have to go stare at images of that guy. yeah it’s gonna be all day.

i’m just tryna have a nice time despite knowing facts and information

Periods should come with some kind of psychic attack so I can like knock the phones out of hands of people who listen to loud videos in public and pop the tires of people with evil bumper stickers. I feel I'm owed that for the horrors

I was meant to be a character in a low budget horror movie in 2005 wearing a short sleeved shirt over a long sleeved shirt to signify to the audience that I am an enjoyer of music