Diet Care Bear

i hate fatigueee its so stupid. ohh when im home i'll do this or that Nope. replacing all of your bones with pure titanium now. Goodbye

“do you know where you’ll be headed in 5 years?” no. but i do know about themes and motifs. and friendship. and putting garlic on everything

SNIFFS YOU

when is everyone going to read omniscient readers viewpoint. When are you going to start hanging out with Kim dokja, the worst man alive or dead. You could love him like a brother. I promise.

it really is insane how waking up early will grant you access to some of the most beautiful sights and sensations in the world that will make you want to live forever, but only if you overcome the gauntlet of a thousand razors that is getting out of bed early. truly one of life's little saw traps.

incredible how much housework you can get done if you take a chance and believe in yourself and also have fifteen other much more pressing responsibilities

if you aren't best friends with your lover and a little bit in love with all your friends than what's the fucking point

Before i can do this small task i have to drink a coffee then play on my phone for an hour then jerk off then drink a soda then play on my phone then eat a snack then play on my phone then take a nap then play on my phone then go to bed

objectifying men in armor will literally never get old. like, work it shiny boy. hit ‘em with that old razzle dazzle you fuckin trash can. hottie! (tucks $5 into your cuirass) 

Throws in some gold coins at the neck opening and hear it rattling all the way down.

for some of my mutuals this is the only type of direct interaction we've ever had in like. 8+ years of following each other

Every night at eleven I have to choose between enjoying the sweet embrace of slumber or staying up late to do something enriching and fun that I wouldn’t otherwise have the opportunity to do. And every night at eleven I take the secret third option of “doing nothing on my phone until one in the morning.”

I need to [remembers I shouldn't make suicide jokes] join a whaling crew

They should add a feature to this website where you can browse someone’s blog by inputting a short phrase and then a search algorithm would retrieve all the posts containing it

its funny to me when a cartoon or something has a vague Evil Organization because a lot of fans will instantly decide that there's a whole workplace comedy happening there. those guys can't just be vaguely standing around acting evil all day they've gotta have like an evil break room or something