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Official Michael

As much as I think it would be fun to have emotive anthropomorphic ears, I also recognize I can barely control my facial expressions. Like hell can I keep from Angry Ears-ing during meetings

if you set off a rube goldberg type death trap to kill someone, if it's a long enough machine, it ceases to become your fault if somebody dies at the end. that's how I've gotten away with it all these years, and why I'm still going to heaven.

How is it that you can a music library of like 1,200+ absolute bangers but as soon as you put it on shuffle in a group setting it's like. anime opening you added in 2010. homestuck parody song. musical artist who was cancelled last year for kidnapping and eating children in his basement. Hamilton

I can't believe some people are actually reblogging this like "Tch. Omg, so embarrassing OP, I can't believe you would ever admit to liking Hamilton 😏 " like ok, first of all congratulations for hatching as a fully formed adult in 2022 from the pure white egg of a virgin swan i guess. Raised in a cave on a diet consisting solely of nuts and berries and leftist twitter clapbacks. "ooooooh, I've never had a complicated relationship with a piece of art that was phenomenally well-received at the time but aged like milk as later reflection revealed the fundamental flaws in its premise that were in fact present from its inception but which I didn't notice because I was 17 and hadn't heard of neoliberalism yet" Should we throw a party? Should we invite Anthony Fantano? Anyway second of all. you draw the line at Lin Manuel Miranda but you're fine with basement guy?

aliens are real btw but i don’t really know what their deal is

Maybe you would if you let them finish their sentences before you zap them with cursed lightning

don’t wanna

After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.

this is the correct way around and every other social media site is wrong

I’m not gonna lie very little has been going according to keikaku these days

Why must I die and see those around me die? Is this fair while the whole world lives in peace? Why must I fight just to stay alive? Why must my father struggle with his illness alone? I don't want to lose my father or anyone I love here. Please donate to me and my family and save us from this injustice. Please donate now.

I can't do this alone, but I'm doing my best. Please don't let my efforts go to waste. Donate, please donate! Anything helps, but please do your utmost and donate. I don't know how to say this, but truly, these donations are our lifeline, and without them, we will perish and never survive. Please do your utmost to help us.

If you can't donate, please share this post widely. Help us find someone who can and will donate. Share with your family, your friends, everyone who can. Please contribute whatever you can; our lives are in danger.

This family is in desperate need of help. Anything you can give will help immensely!

more than anything i want a world where a trans girl realizing she is a trans girl faces zero fear from that realization and subsequent coming out. Where she can say "Oh sweet, I can just be a girl? Sign me up!", no worrying if shes girl enough, no worrying if society will accept her, no worrying if she'll be an attractive girl as she transitions, no worrying at all in any way shape or form.