Shy LaBeef

t*mblr is such a weird site because one post will be like “i personally believe that all of society’s problems stem from a capitalist system” and you scroll down and the next post says “i want to peg the mothman”

#except for you #since you murdered most of them

take me down to the Salt Lake City where there’s salt and lakes and the lakes are salty

dad/brian

one time my sister was working at home depot and got called down to help handle an outrageously angry man returning a lawnmower and it was our dad

The first time a girl ever took her underwear off in front of me I said, “Golly, it’s just like I seen in the pictures!” in a very 1920’s voice.  I don’t know why I thought that was a good idea.  She didn’t laugh.  I didn’t laugh.  That was probably one of the darkest days of my life.

THIS POST IS MY CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT