Feelings...More

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-BISON

Dying of poison is classy, but platypus venom is a freakish substance that isn’t lethal but WILL drive you mad with excruciating, long-lasting agony that cannot be dampened with painkillers. Which is, frankly, cool as hell—if you’re the first person to die from platypus venom, you’ll be new to science, which is itself an honorable thing. HOWEVER, you can only be envenomated by a male platypus during mating season, so you’d really have to be at the end of a long series of dishonorable mistakes to be stabbed by one in the first place.

If a mouse kills you, that is incredibly honorable, but not to you. To the mouse. If a mouse kills you that mouse gets the deed to your car and your husband and becomes a constellation and a parable and a feature film. It’s not really dishonorable to be killed by a mouse because it does sort of cast you in the role of a dragon slain by a humble and unlikely hero, which is probably more respect than you deserve if you’re the guy who got killed by a mouse.

national holiday

she had to do it to us

Jonathan Harker: This is my fiancée Mina, and Minas girlfriend Lucy, and Lucy’s Fiancé Arthur, and Arthur’s Boyfriend John Seward, and Seward’s boyfriend Quincey, and

hes the dad

"surely you'd notice the date being the same every single loop though?" you overestimate how much i pay attention to my surroundings. if you asked me the date and time right now i couldn't even tell you which month it is. i barely remember which year we're in, man.

-this 24 hour day thing is a lot longer than i remember

this is true. thank you dracula daily for, among other things, protecting me from time loops.

🍲火鍋底料 hot pot base

dracula comic

evolved w friendship btw

Pokemon arceus spoiler with absolutely 0 context

I love how unhinged this game is