a bottle marked poison

colouring your art is so funny. noooooo i cant put blue there im too scared. what if it looks bad and all the other colours unionise to beat me to death and hang my flayed corpse in the town square for all to point and laugh at.

im fighting for my life against abstract concepts and its serious. to me.

must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason

cant find my TV remote. it better not be where i think it is.

Did you know that instead of doing the list of things you need to do that you can have orgasms alone in your room?

I love seeing my mutuals in my notes because it confirms they’re not mad at me. yet

there's a special place in my heart for people who made an effort to be my friend regardless of how quiet or distant i can get at times

forget everything anyone has ever told you on the matter the truest marker of adulthood is starting to hear the siren call of high quality kitchenware

to be clear you SHOULD buy that cast iron pan and you SHOULD buy that knife set and you SHOULD buy that fancy rice cooker and you SHOULD buy that novelty mug. high quality kitchenware is always worth it you’re literally gonna be using that almost every day

God sometimes I'm writing smut and I'll like, delete a sentence because I'm like, no, I can't write that. It's too indulgent. And then it's like. Girl, what the fuck are you even going to the candy store for if you're just going to buy raisins. Get real.

"what the fuck are you even going to the candy store for if you're just going to buy raisins" is honestly the thing I needed to hear today

YES. YES YES YES THANK YOU