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having roommates will introduce you to people whose standards of living should be considered a human rights violation

I FORGOT ABOUT THE GOAT

You need to start moisturizing before it's too late. I'm not talking about wrinkles or any of that nonsense. Winter is fucking coming you need to grease up or you are going to dry out like a raisin. It's too late for me but you can still save yourself. Please don't end up like me

Guys it's actually so dire please for the love of God start moisturizing right fucking now. I just put on lotion and my skin sucked it up before I could even rub it in we are in fucking crisis mode

Every part of that sign is GOLD. Fucking Orc-ass name. The sword as their logo, and the Gs make it look good! Their slogan is just one part of an awesome whole

I love that people just screenshot tiktoks. Fuck videos

You are 60% water and every lake, river, pond, swamp, creek, and ocean you encounter wants to reclaim it desperately. Be careful out there.

I have a confession to make... I thought the idea of wireless headphones like air pods were so so stupid when they first came out. But having owned wireless headphone pods with a case I have to admit that I do enjoy them quite a lot. But we should still eat the spleen of every person who lobbied to phase out the headphone jack in electronics

I’m a social vampire u gotta invite me into ur conversation or I cannot enter

Girls will be like “you just had to be there” about an event they watched occur through their computer screen