Like the crab??

you may not see it yet, but everything is quietly aligning in your favor.

girl unhinge ur jaw

UNCLENCH. I MEANT UNCLENCH

Mitch McConnell has been sent to a nice farm out in the country where there's lots of open space to run around and lots of other senators for him to play with

can we send him to the glue factory instead

notice how everyones 30 now

why are you as an adult open-mouth coughing all over the place

i think the angriest ive ever made someone on reddit was when they used an emoji while arguing and i said "What is this tiny yellow picture"

(Comes back from the evil sorceress’s tower covered in suspiciously placed bruises and poorly hidden hickeys) Uh Yeah Uhm she was torturing me Haha don’t worry abt it. By the way have you guys ever considered joining Her Dark Army

bro, go to Jimmy John's and ask for the Fetty Wop meal. The looks on their faces won't change and they'll give you a buffalo chicken wrap and buffalo chicken flavored chips with a drink of your choice.

just learned from my friend who works at Jimmy John's that the parentheses in the meal name caused a nationwide software glitch for 24 hours that made it so the order was free. Her store had to cancel hundreds of orders that day.

Fetty Wap infinite meal glitch at Jimmy John's

reblog if you make occasional posts

Sometimes I still hear my voice