From the Twisted Mind of a Kripke Worshipper

Don't even worry about all that

#well why did he even buy a scrying mirror if he didn’t expect his familiar to scry

cat understood the assignment

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

My mom kept complaining that all of a sudden the Beatles are back and they're fucking everywhere and they're so obnoxious and were practically having an orgy in her garden under a cucumber leaf and that's when I realized she meant spotted cucumber beetles and not Paul McCartney

U reckon if tony had IT problems at work he just fixes it himself

Imagine you're an intern at SI, your Laptop breaks so you put in an IT Ticket and half an hour later the old CEO strolls in with dark circles and greasy jeans, demanding to see your Laptop.

Two hours later your laptop informs you you have made two errors and would you like it to order you a coffee.

They make an error and just get a pop-up that says 'No.'

happy anniversary 

reblog if ur mom is smart and beautiful

This is one of my favorite sites on here because everyone who reblogged it truly believes it because their moms won’t actually see it