I’m still trying to figure out how everything went wrong so fast.

I would never intentionally want to hurt someone’s feelings.

Those who are heartless once cared too much.

The first time I tried to kill myself it was because I was angry and thought I could never be loved. The second time was because I had tasted love but it decided I wasn’t good enough.

Don’t fall in love with the boy’s who hold your hair back when you’ve drank too much, Or the ones who take your hand while you’re crying and pray circles into your palms. Maybe don’t kiss the boy’s who go for midnight walks with you and stay up till 5 am to help you with that final paper due at 8. Don’t go for the ones that know your worth even when you don’t, Even when you call them to pick you up because some fuck boy left you with only a few hickeys and no ride home. Please don’t pay attention to the boy’s who take your self hate and say “you really don’t see yourself the way others see you, do you?” Oh god. Just don’t fall in love with them. Please, just don’t. Because it’s the ones that kiss your eyelids and stretch marks that fuck you over. It’s the ones that tell you the truth that bring you to your knees. It’s the good ones that leave you curled up in a ball for months begging for the bleeding in your gut to stop. And it’s all because they’re the unforgettable ones. The boy’s who leave so many marks of love on you that no one can compare. God knows they’re it. Fuck. You are it.

Do not text him. You don’t really want to talk to him about the weather or how he is or if he failed that quiz. Do not text him. All you want to say is “I miss you. Please love me again.” But instead you text him “Hey.” and wait heart in throat for him to respond. Do not text him. You don’t really want to text him about how your song came on the radio and it made you think of him. Do not text him. All you want is for him to text you. “I miss you. I love you. Can I come back?” Do not text him. That will never be his response.

Let me refresh your memory alright? I was the one who took your bullshit. I was the one who actually cared about you. I was the one who stuck around even when everyone told me to leave. I was the one who loved you even when you gave me every reason not to. Lastly, I was the one who was there for you when no one else was. I hope you can sleep on that.