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All 4 Pearls together, by popular demand!

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“Needless to say, stories and descriptions such as these are significant for the history of lesbianism, not least because they have few equivalents in medieval European literature. Arab lesbians were both named and visible in medieval Arabic literature. Moreover, and in contrast to their status in the medieval West in the same period, for example, Arab lesbians were not considered guilty of a “silent sin,” and there is no clear evidence that their “crime” was punished by death. In fact, lesbianism in the medieval Islamicate literary world was a topic deemed worthy of discussion and a lifestyle worthy of emulation.”
—
Sahar Amer, Medieval Arab Lesbians and Lesbian-Like Women (2009)
Thanks sqbr–this article is EXCELLENT. It’s also not safe for work (textually). Here is a sweet bit–
As a matter of fact, the origin of lesbianism, according to popular anecdotes in the Arabic literary tradition, is regularly traced back forty years before the emergence of male homosexuality to an intercultural, interfaith love affair between an Arab woman and a Christian woman in pre-Islamic Iraq. The earliest extant erotic treatise in Arabic, Jawami` al-ladhdha (Encyclopedia of Pleasure), dates to about the end of the tenth century and was written by a certain Abul Hasan Ali ibn Nasr al-Katib.7 It tells us the story of the first lesbian couple, the enduring love between Hind Bint al-Nu`man, the Christian daughter of the last Lakhmid king of Hira in the seventh century, and Hind Bint al-Khuss al-Iyadiyyah from Yamama in Arabia, known as al-Zarqa’ and reportedly the first lesbian in Arab history: “She [Hind] was so loyal to al-Zarqa’ that when the latter died, she cropped her hair, wore black clothes, rejected worldly pleasures, vowed to God that she would lead an ascetic life until she passed away and, as a result, she built a monastery which was named after her, on the outskirts of Kufa. When she died, she was buried at the monastery gate. Her loyalty was then an example for poets to write about. There are also other women who continued to shed tears on their beloved ones’ graves until they passed away.”
that link doesn’t work anymore but here’s one that does: https://web.archive.org/web/20120324174140id_/http://facultypages.morris.umn.edu/~deanej/3704/Assignments/Article%20Choices/Same%20Sex/Medieval%20Arab%20Lesbians.pdf
thank you for re-finding this article you tremendous hero
'people need to interrogate their kinks' okay sure fine. CNC is such a prevalent kink because we are all swimming in the soup of a culture with really fucked up attitudes about power, submission, and consent, and it makes sense that a lot of people process that through stylized play. loads of kinks work like that. the forbidden, the taboo, the social roles people are pressured to fill, all of these can be a breeding ground for kinks and fetishes and as long as everyone involved is consenting this is not actually a problem that needs to be solved. it's something to be aware of, and thoughtful about, when you're playing with other people, that's all.
(and yeah, the scene is not a predator-free utopia and in fact has a lot of the same problems as a lot of other relatively insular groups - namely, that it reflexively protects its own and this reflex strongly follows the various axes of privilege. this is a problem! it's not a problem unique to the kink scene though)
you know what i think maybe needs to be interrogated more than people's kinky fantasies, though? the shit that no one thinks is kinky. the stuff that's just, like, so normal that you don't even have to think about it. of course it works like that. that's not kinky, that's romantic and wholesome. we don't need to talk about consent - that's for weird stuff, and this is normal! and if you suggest that this is maybe something that we should talk about, you're the one making it weird, actually.
the abnormal, the stuff that falls outside of the script, that already is subject to scrutiny just by nature of being what it is. what maybe needs a little more scrutiny is all of the stuff that we culturally consider normal, healthy, and wholesome.
i don't even particularly like genre romance, but it's always so weird to see people (usually, though not always, men) going 'you know REAL LIFE men don't act like the men in romance novels, right???' as if it's a gotcha.
like, yeah. obviously. real life women don't act like the women in romance novels either. it's a genre with extremely stylized and predictable character beats that exist to serve the romantic arc rather than to deeply explore or accurately reproduce human behavior. this complaint makes about as much sense as superciliously sneering that small english towns don't ACTUALLY have a murder every other week for the local eccentric to investigate.
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My piece for @ikesorenzine ! It’s such an enjoyable experience! Thanks so much 💕💕The leftover sales are coming soon!🐈
Re-release: [-The Celestial Totems-] Dress and Cape
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been stewing on an analytical approach to fiction which I call "is this book afraid of me?" and in order to answer this question you determine how hard the book is trying to make sure you don't come after the writer on twitter
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Please keep making art. Please make it for yourself. Please don’t let everything become even more of the same flat general appeal nonsense that doesn’t seem to have anything to say
You need to kill the lawyer in your brain that keeps insisting that your blorbo has to be an Ethical Dom Top™. You need to stop your knee jerk desire to pathologize and explain away a character's sexual desire to dominate as a symptom of their mental illness or abusive childhood. You need to stop thinking of a desire to dominate as inherently less intimate than other sex acts. You need to stop framing dominance as something to be fixed or that will eventually change with the right partner. You need to stop twisting a Dom's role in the bedroom into one that is secretly subservient because they're 'actually' beholden to their sub's desires - "My Dom doesn't WANT to dominate, he just wants to fulfill his sub's desire to BE dominated. When you look at it that way, they're actually the submissive one!!" - STOP!!! STOP DOING THAT!!!!
How do you write healthy parent-child relationships?
this might be more response than you want, but interesting (and kinda depressing when you think about it) fact: there’ve been a bunch of research studies where parents have been asked what they think makes a healthy parent-child relationship, and they tend to like…not answer the actual question because they think they’re being asked what good parenting is, which is not the same. so they talk about things like helping kids with homework and making sure they eat well. children, on the other hand, usually respond to the same question with stuff that’s literally just the definition of healthy relationships generally. affection, honesty, respect, spending time together, sharing interests. and the real kicker is, objectively, we know that’s the kind of stuff that actually has a much better impact not only on whether or not the relationship is strong and positive but also the kid’s overall happiness and psychological health.
so, if you want to write a character who’s really intent on being a Good Parent you’d have them putting massive effort into making their kid Grow Up Right, worrying about shit like if they have The Right Friends and they’re spending Enough Time Outside. but if you want to write a good relationship, just make parent and kid laugh together and respect boundaries and be emotionally supportive, like you would when writing a solid pair of friends or romantic couple.
No that was actually really helpful and I’m glad you took the time to give a serious response

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i think one of the worst things the left wing internet ever did was push the idea that oppression is basically a virtue, and being oppressed is a sign of your morality. it has made it like…impossible for some of you to hold the idea that most people are privileged in some ways and oppressed in others. AND a lot of you seem to have it in your mind that terrible people cannot be oppressed, and that oppressed people cannot do terrible things, which is a dangerous rhetoric to hold imo.
Not only is it important so you don't get taken advantage of by terrible people wielding their oppressions as weapons, but also your convictions against oppression should not be contingent on the morality of the people suffering. Shitty people don't deserve to be oppressed either. Human rights are one of those things you only really understand and believe in if you see them as universal, not conditional.
A study of The Young Martyr by Paul Delaroche but with Alucard instead 💫
stop saying "gen z brought back bush-era purity politics" i grew up in the bush era and even then people weren't saying that you're a sex addict for having boring marital sexual congress in the same house as your children. this is just plain unhinged
Literally almost every millennial I know has a memory of accidentally walking in on their parents or hearing their parents having sex. It's fucking normal. Human beings have sex. Your parents fuck. Get over it. Being weird about it isn't healthy.
I really loved Robert Evans’s response to this
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Scanned from Retail and Restaurant Spaces by Kristen Richards (1999)

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if your animal is lying on the floor, furniture etc, it’s important to take a picture of them. then, if they move or shift in any way, it’s important to take another picture. with this technique, you can take many pictures of your animal
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