I Play Warframe And Reblog Stuff

When a mommy hates a daddy very much, mommy will conspire with daddy’s coworkers to discreetly steal his genetic material during a night of passion between daddy and his two coworkers who hate each other almost as much as they hate daddy, so that mommy can use daddy’s genetic material to create a living bomb that she will detonate to breach a locked tomb that only opens for daddy or a close blood relative, like a living bomb made out of one half of daddy’s stolen dna, that contains the death of daddy and his evil empire, and sometimes mommy will fail because one person in her ill advised polyclue, who is actually two people in one body but only one of them knows this and who are both daddy’s coworkers but not the ones who stole his dna, will push mommy with her living bomb out of an airlock during which she will die and fall down onto a decrepit planet that guards the locked tomb with her still alive and undetonated bomb. And that’s how babies are made!

Also John: "Oh gosh Harrow, you also totally didn't actually break into the tomb. You probably did SOMETHING (you poor girl) but not that, because I'm too smart for a lock I designed ten thousand years ago to ever be broken".

fuck i think i left my arcane talisman of +2 jumping in one of the village’s many random large breakable pots

FUUUCK when you told me to hide the Golden Idol of Divine Resilience I put it on a ledge only accessible with a boosted jump....

dude we are fucking screwed

YES OMG ITS PERFECT THANK YOU <3

Maid cleaning a massive chateau surely belonging to the richest people you’ve ever seen, and as she’s walking from room to room you notice that every single portrait is of her