-delirium of the damn-

I want something bad to happen to me so I can end up in the hospital

Trying to break bpd patterns, trying to overcome the terror of being alone. Getting ready for a really long and fucking hard road.

I can not focus on anything other than him, he won’t talk to me, he doesn’t want to fix anything, he pretends nothing is happening. This is fucking killing me.

BPD took over and it’s destroying everything I worked for. Fucking help me before it’s the end of me. I can’t fucking do this anymore, I can’t deal with the eternal loneliness and fuck ups. I push away everyone around me, I fucking hate myself. I can’t do this.

Want to smash my head against the wall, over, and over, and over, and over , and over, and over, until I can see little splatters of my brain and blood making abstract art.

I don’t want to live anymore, I’m tired.

Wishing well hear my prayer, let me fall ill, break my body, take me away wrapped in numbness. My mind is a burning prison, my heart exhausted. Oh wishing well take me away, I fear I have no courage to end it all.

If I overdose by accident I would be ok with it