#Hermes: he’s dead Dionysus you don’t actually have to do this #Dionysus [polishing his giant wooden dildo]: I made a PROMISE (x)

This is the also the myth of the creation of the dildo. And in some versions of the myth, Prosymnus’ soul was so overjoyed, that he was transferred to Elysium. That’s right, Dionysus rode Prosymnus’ pseudo-dick so good that he was moved to the Blessed AfterlifeTM

dionysus: can’t believe prosymnus died before I could keep my promise to let him bone me the nymphs: you don’t have to, you know dionysus, oiling up the world’s first dildo: no I’m gonna

Prosymnus’ soul literally ascended

…is that Rachael Leigh Cook, the same actress who did the original anti-drug ad when she was a teenager?

It is indeed.

She grew up, realized she’d been exploited to further a racist government agenda, and turned around to bite the hand that feeds. Awesome.

I’m so proud of her

Lol, here’s a fun one: if you had been born in the medieval era and without access to modern medicine, how long would you have lived? If I managed to survive being born (unlikely) I would have died at age 22 from appendicitis :) hbu?

The number of you absolutely convinced you would have been convicted of witchcraft and burned at the stake seems statistically unlikely.

chaotic neutral

this is what every social interaction feels like when you’re neurodivergent

there are foods here that i would eat, but i would never say “awakening” instead of “keylime pie”