Obviously John Rich is a pure soul who WOULD NEVER
Katrina Harlow swung her feet off the arm of Tyler's couch and planted them firmly on the ground in front of her.
"Tyler," she hissed. "You should send this to John Rich, or better yet, buy him one and send it to his house. Maybe he'll get the message."
She shoved her phone down into Tyler's face. He had situated himself at the coffee table with his laptop and notebook. He was actually working on content right now for "The Big Picture" and felt very behind. But he froze and his jaw dropped when his eyes found Katrina's phone.
"How did you even find this?"
On her screen was an orange, black, and sassy eyed dildo looking back at him.
"There's apparently quite a few..." she snatched her phone back and scrolled to another page. "See?"
Now, in practice, Tyler Hughes did not find anything sexy about Garfeild. He was a cartoon cat, and not even one like Kovu from the Lion King 2. But listening to the most interesting man in the world talk about his favorite grumpy lasagna loving cat... that was a whole other story.
But that wasn't really the question was it. Did John Rich think Garfeild was sexy?
"hello? Earth to Tyler." Katrina was scrolling through more explicit Garfeild memioribilia, and Tyler suddenly realized this might be sacriligeous.
He shoved the phone away. "No! John Rich's interest in Garfield is pure, even if it is obsessive. He'd probably find it offensive..." But the more Tyler thought, the more he went into a spiral.
"But it's Garfeild, maybe he'd want it for the novelty? Would he use it? Would he just think it's crass?" Who displays a themed dildo next to their collectible plushies?
If anyone would it would be John Rich.
"Do I know him at all?" Tyler threw himself down on the floor and draped an arm over his face. Maybe he didn't deserve to be with John Rich. Didn;t even deserve to be his friend. He didn't even know what John would like!
Katrina laid down on the couch above him and lifted his arm.
"You're overthinking this. Just send it to him and see what his reaction is."
The idea made Tyler's heart stop. "NO! He'll think I'm some sort of werdo! I bet he already thinks so!" Tyler hadn't even thought that far ahead with John Rich, he was still stuck on being enamored by him and his pure love of Garfeild. That's right. Pure. John Rich was a pure soul who would never defile Garfeild that way.
Months later, after Tyler figured out how to date the John Rich, he showed John the dildo.
"I need at least two of them," he said snatching Tyler's phone.
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