small fawn

Please - if I cannot be your knight, let me be your shadow, your hound, your blade in the dark - anything but nothing.

we know you only draw dicks for clout bro. you dont really know what dicks are

in the TikTok robot lady voice

Yeah sure I'll reblog that

“Come hell or high water” no thank you just semen for me

i turn my clamification dial to 100% & the capital of the netherlands becomes clamsterdam. i turn it to 200% & it becomes clamsterclam

yeah so my university got in trouble with the Platonists for the Ethical Treatment of Abstractions. yeah, for catching eternal forms in the immaterial realm and vivisecting them to discover their hidden properties. apparently nowadays people think this is “barbaric” and “cruelty to eternal entities,” but i dunno. when I was an undergrad you couldn’t get your degree without slicing up a commutative ring or a high-dimensional polytope in the mathematics lab. it’s gross, but you develop a strong stomach real quick. the smell doesn’t leave you, though. blood mixed with pure nous. they quiver when the scalpel sinks into them. I mean they don’t feel pain so it’s fine. at least that’s what they always told us. what would they even feel it with? I’m pretty sure it’s fine. not everybody is cut out to be a mathematician. but how else are you going to make progress in the field?

Is that a hard penis in your pants or is it something different than that? Also: do you hate me?

i promise to shoot the man i accosted in the alleyway unless he gives me his wallet. he says "this is just like rokos basilisk". i say "what?", and the man says "ah so you don't already know. i know information which is dangerous to you, and may cause unquantified but large amounts of disutility to you if you know it. give me the gun or i will tell you this information". obviously i wouldn't believe him, except omega previously told me that my next victim would be right about everything he said. so im inventivzed to shoot him before he can speak, but a weighted average of all human beliefs implies murder will be punished severely in the afterlife (so the tiny probability any god is real doesn't cancel itself out across different gods). instead i lunge forward and hold a cloroform rag over his mouth, knocking him out. now i need only fear earthly reprisal, and my accomplice (who is my alibi, due to our distinct resemblance) is a perfect copy of me. since ive precommitted to kill myself if i get ratted out (as has he, since we're perfect copies) i know im secure. in a way he precommitted before he even existed, though since that idiot thinks he's the original he doesn't realize it. hey what if i could credibly predict that he would commit to other things before he existed. he could- oh goddamn it what a waste of cloroform. before i leave to begin bringing about the existence of a vindictive superintellegent ai i pull the wallet from the mans pocket- $0 dollars. just another night for me, just another night