Make a Profile or be Blocked, Livestock!

you guys gotta stop deactivating your blogs cause you're making it harder for me to go back in a reblog chain to remove the annoying additions

ok google how do i propose deeper friendship and intimacy to my mutuals without feeling like a pervert predator

hey. can we DM? do you want a voice message? do you want to see a picture of my face? do you wanna call? do you wanna get off on call with me? do you wanna consider us friends? do you wanna share secrets? do you wanna hint vaguely at where we both live to gauge how far we are from each other? do you wanna meet? do you wanna hang out? do you wanna fuck? do you wanna hold hands and kiss? does this make me creepy? is this too far? do you wanna kill me. i'm really sorry

so what you're gonna do is you're gonna trim the top off a bulb of garlic, using the knife's edge to take off the tip of every individual clove, that's important. you're gonna place the garlic face-up in a square of tinfoil, drizzle with olive oil, wrap completely in foil, place in baking tray, repeat with a copious amount of garlic bulbs. you're gonna put that baking tray in an oven set to 375-400°F, for 30-50 minutes, until soft and browned. you're gonna toast some good bread, slather generously with butter and honey, maybe a tiny lil bit o' salt. and then. you're gonna SQUEEZE. OUT. THAT. ROASTED GARLIC. onto the butter honey toast. and you're gonna eat it. food stolen directly from the plate of the gods. that's what you're gonna do.

Not enough people know about wireless-fireless

My faceblindness is JUST enough that I'm not certain if this is Hugh Laurie or just a scruffy white guy with blue eyes but he's DEFINITELY doing the Hugh Laurie mouth thing so I'm about 70% certain it is

No that's definitely Hugh Laurie.

The first rule of cable management is "out of sight, out of mind"

The second rule of cable management is that all true art is provocative. If zero people want to kill you over it, it's not good art.

a boyfriend is a type of parasite that lives in a beautiful woman’s house and drains her life force

Swing state gothic

okay I still have to lock in and write 2k today. no problem

first rule of parasite infection is to have fun and be yourself

second rule is to start being something else

boobs should have a toggle on/off feature

Also cock and balls