Cat Person

For Sale, Baby Shoes, Lightly Worn, Three or Four Times. Baby Did Die Though

charlie kirk getting shot in the neck reminds me of how i failed to shoot my shot at giving you neck

i spot a plus size honey across the bar and start to chat her up until her bisexual boyfriend with a magic the gathering tattoo comes over and starts yelling at me so i turn him sideways so he can't make another action until his next turn

You ever think about how we call toddlers that because they can't walk right. They toddle about. Fuckin idiots. Fuckin idiot steppers can't walk properly. Call 'em wobblers. This is my son Jeffrey he's at the age where I mock him for walking like a fucking scrub. "Skill issue" ass name.

I just realized it's literally just the fucking humors again. We've arrived back at the starting line.

Bro stop it this a poem

the purpose of friends is to have people who unconditionally hate your shitty exes & relatives. like maybe YOU have a complex relationship with your father but i sure don't. i'm outside his house with a gun. he's not the unforgivable asshole who raised me he's just an unforgivable asshole

no i dont think women starving themselves and reconstructing their entire faces with makeup and plastic surgery is feminism and female empowerment

ON THE SHOW "SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS," THE KRABBY PATTIES THE TITULAR SPONGEBOB MAKES PROFESSIONALLY ARE, PER THE SERIES CREATOR, VEGETARIAN. THIS IS BECAUSE NICKELODEON HAD RULES FOR THE SPONGEBOB PRODUCTION TEAM AGAINST DEPICTING FISH AS FOOD FOR OTHER FISH. SOMETIMES THEY BROKE THIS RULE

Absolutely fucking dying over the name of this painting. We've had cats figured out since day fucking one

wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.

i think they should allow everyone in the world to vote in american elections

i think they should allow everyone in the world to vote in american elections