Memento Mori

adult life is crazy because you can be going through the most devastating and heartbreaking things while still having to go to work and do the laundry and grocery shopping

i eat 15 apples for breakfast then drive myself to the hospital just to watch the doctors get blasted backward into the drywall bc they cant withstand my aura

cant get sentences like this anywhere else

Uh....australian here. We don’t talk like that. At all. This shits closer to how white South Africans talk lmao

Uh...white south African here. Neither do we lol

uh... white person here. i jack off to goombas from the super mario bros games

I love saying “of course” instead of “you’re welcome,” like of course I’m helping you that’s what I do, you were foolish to even consider an alternate dimension in which I’m not helping you. you idiot. you absolute buffoon.

hmmm.. suck my dick from the back?

I doubt Vodka is the answer, but it’s worth a shot