fawn :p

I don't know how I'm supposed to explain to ostensibly trans-friendly feminists that "women are beautiful soft things made of glass, men are obsessed with violence and sex" is exactly what the patriarchy wants you to believe. Patriarchy wants you to believe that being a woman and/or having a vagina (patriarchy generally believes those two things are synonymous) makes one shatter on impact with reality. It makes you easier to control if you are scared shitless of the other half of the population, and it makes you more compliant with your lot in life if you believe it is in the nature of the other half of the population to rape and kill rather than realise those were choices those individual rapists and murderers made. There is no way to make gender essentialism progressive and feminist, because it is one of patriarchy's tools of subjugation. Stop trying to make it progressive.

TERFs have tricked you into thinking your ally is your enemy and your enemy is your ally.

Hot take but rigid divisions between queer identities and heavily-policed labels that are treated like diagnoses are really, really bad.

“Only women can—” nope. “But all men—” nah. “The divine femininity of—” gonna stop you right there. “Everyone born ama—” if you finish that sentence I’ll kill you. “Men don’t experience—” you’re wrong. “Gender isn’t real but sex is imm—” *loud incorrect buzzer*

#wild to me because I keep seeing people like “oh I should be nice and friendly to someone who's actively trying to kill me then?”#like no there is in fact a middle ground between. checking my notes.#being mean to struggling people. and being personally responsible for struggling people to your own detriment#there are in fact a whole spectrum of middle grounds#“ignoring someone” is in fact an option#but the same people who are like “what do you want me to be personally responsible for a man's transformation?”#will then use bullying tactics and claim the shame will help the men in a transformation?#it sounds like you're still using energy to get involved but you just get mad when people ask you to do it in ways that are effective praxis#you can't have it both ways. either get involved in an effective and humane way or. like. don't get involved LOL!

people who are sinking a lot of time, effort, and ego into Being Mean To People For Good Reasons get incredibly fucking mad when you tell them that being Nice To People For The Same Reasons accomplishes their stated goals way more effectively.

Can we also acknowledge that men aren't inherently monsters, they're people? I have as much reason to be afraid of men as anyone, I still get panic attacks around men when they are angry. But I also know a lot of men who are compassionate and caring, who I trust with my life. And you know what makes that difference? They were raised around people who were kind to them, who gave them the tools to deconstruct their internalized toxic masculinity.