Welcome to the Deboracracy

Just like on any other Tuesday, Tina walked into her office and found her boss reclining in his chair with coffee and a box of food. Today it was a mug of PJ’s cold brew, because it was never too cold for iced coffee in New Orleans, and a half dozen heavily frosted cupcakes.

“Good morning, Tina,” Christian Moynahan said, gesturing toward the box. “Breakfast?”

“No, thank you. I’m on a diet,” Tina answered, settling into a chair. “What’s new today?”

“You’re on a diet?” Christian asked. “Does that mean my AI is having body image issues? Should I be worried?”

“A health-food diet. I understand if the concept is foreign to you,” Tina replied, eyeing the cupcakes. “I see you sent me the daily upload, but I’m having trouble accessing it. Is there a problem with the wifi?”

Christian took a sip of coffee. “Are you using our intranet or an outside network?”

Tina paused while she checked her connection. “Oh, I have it now. I was on an external LTE network.”

“That would explain it,” Christian said. “Moynacorp hasn’t paid the ransoms this month, so the ISPs are throttling our services.”

“Oh,” Tina said. “Wait, what about Hortical? They said they wouldn’t force small businesses to pay ransoms for faster data speeds.”

“Oh, they don’t,” Christian said breezily. “They throttle us because I made a comment in support of gay marriage a couple of weeks ago.”

“Hmm.” Tina thought for a moment. “What about AB&C? They said they support net neutrality and wouldn’t throttle any services.”

“They did say that,” Christian said. “But that doesn’t stop them from speeding up websites that they like and leaving the rest of us on suboptimal performance. Which isn’t exactly neutral, but hey, money is power, right?”

“Ugh.” Tina folded her arms. Then she sat up again, buoyed by inspiration. “Wait, what about Claira? They’re a small startup, just like us. They wouldn’t make us pay a ransom or throttle our traffic due to politics or anything else, right?”

There was a bit of wistfulness to Christian’s smile. “They wouldn’t if they didn’t have to. But their competitors, like AB&C and Hortical, charge them their own ransom just to keep from being shut out of the telecom industry. But Claira is too small to absorb the ransom, so they pass it on to us and their other customers in the form of higher fees. In turn, Moynacorp couldn’t absorb their higher rates, so we use a different ISP.”

“Then how does anyone expect Claira to survive?” Tina asked, aghast.

“No one in telecom cares because they’re just a small-fry competitor. No one in government cares because they don’t have lobbying power and can’t grease palms.” Christian shrugged behind his coffee.

“And how is any of that okay?” Tina demanded.

“I didn’t say it was,” Christian answered patiently. “But until more folks start speaking up, this is the new normal.”

Tina slouched. “That’s kinda depressing, Christian.”

“I know it. Welcome to life in the slow lane.” Christian nudged the box of baked goods across the desk. “How are you feeling about these cupcakes now?”

“No wonder you’re stuffing yourself to an early grave,” Tina remarked, snatching up a cupcake.

There's a saying about not looking back lest you get lost in your past. Over the years, I've found that to be true. Yet it's wise to make exceptions sometimes, as the past is what made me who I am.

Yesterday, I held a printed copy of my novel for the first time. I saw my own words printed professionally on high-quality paper. And I sent a photo of the moment (those of you who know me know how much I hate selfies) to my twin, who was quick to point out that I sent the photo at 11:12 AM. November 12 is the day my mother, a lifelong English teacher, passed from this world.

She was my first supporter, although like everyone else she felt writing should be a side job due to the pay. (To that I always respond that I'm also a marketer. And a distributor. And an editor.) Indeed, as the process of publishing this novel has unfolded, I've had occasion to learn who my true friends and supporters are and who was just false.

The idea for Sovereign began in 2010, when I decided to write a novel featuring one of my newest characters, Jael. She was a fallen angel, and that gave me an occasion to explore themes relating to good and evil, faith, and what makes a villain. (Everyone knows I specialize in villainy.) It began with a very different plot, which I had to change as angels became popular around that time, both in novels and in television, and the popular show Supernatural chose a plotline similar to mine. But I finally came up with a story I was happy with and finished it in 2013.

I shopped Sovereign around to agents and publishers large and small, and got zero response. Needless to say, I was unhappy with the process. As a Freeman business undergraduate, I had developed a strong respect for the business industry and how it relates to customers - marketing. And not responding to a potential customer (which an author is to an agent or publisher, albeit more in a B2B way) was more than disrespectful to me. It was a sorry way to manage a business, and an entire industry.

By then I had befriended two like-minded writers, Sephula and Tasha, and I pitched to them the idea of creating a publishing company that would approach its industry and its customers both on a personal level and using the new tools technology had provided, such as social media and content sharing. They agreed, and we established our company in New Orleans in November 2013.

A problem arose almost immediately. I was blocked from developing the company beyond myself by my employer at the time, who claimed that my company was a competitor (it wasn't and still isn't). We could not publish any author but me - even Seph and Tasha were excluded - and we could not sell books anywhere but on our own website. You can imagine how difficult it was for a brand-new company to direct traffic to a barely-established website. We started using the d/b/a "Shalamar" around August 2015, and planned to change it the next year - which happened anyway; as we were making nearly no money thanks to my employer’s no-compete, the state of Louisiana shut us down in December 2015. We re-established ourselves as Shalamar Media LLP in early 2016.

Meanwhile, we were testing the market, establishing a presence, and making connections. We also needed funding, but everywhere we tried, we were turned away. It became clear that we were on our own. I decided we had waited long enough and that it was time to release Sovereign as our first full entry into the market. For this, we held a fundraiser and put Sovereign up for pre-order. Aware of the risks involved, I took on most of the work myself (especially considering it was my book). Having left the restrictive employer in March 2016, we were able to market more widely, submit my past works as well as the novel to sites like Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, and AUTHORSdb. I opened pre-orders on June 24.

Today is July 14, a day before the expected release date. In pre-orders and stock requests alone I have already sold about forty percent of my stock, the fundraiser garnered hundreds of dollars (most of which was donated in person), and I have two book tours planned, with others potentially happening in the future as well. Sales of Sovereign cover the globe, and early readers have given the novel enthusiastic reviews.

We have been operating openly since April. Since then, the amount of revenue we have raised in contrast to our costs qualifies us as profitable. Not merely making sales or raising funds - profitable.

Note that we did it all by ourselves.

Part of that is due to our ridiculously low overhead. The rest is due to our readiness to take risks and the appreciation our personal community had for both my novel and Shalamar's mission. When the investment engine and the startup accelerators failed us, we generated support among the people who truly understood what we were working toward: authors, readers, and our friends. (My own unfortunate friends have been subject to my publishing rants more than once.) And in that, we prospered.

We don't give up. That should be made obvious by our very existence. Each of Shalamar's three founders has surmounted incredible challenges in life, and we all continue to do so. Why wouldn't we do the same in business?

You should see what Shalamar has planned for the near future. I think you should stay tuned. This will be your last chance to get in on the ground floor. In a little while we'll be too high for you to reach.

Thanksgiving 2010. The campus was deserted, just as my dorm was. My friends had all gone home to spend the holiday with their families. I was from out of the country and could hardly afford a round-trip ticket for only three days. No one had invited me to travel with them, and I had nothing to cook.

I ventured out to a Rite-Aid. It might have been a Walgreens. Some details slip my mind while others stick. Wherever I was, I was there for three things: Cup Noodles, sugar-free Powerade, and cranberry sauce. That would be my Thanksgiving dinner.

There wasn't much to be thankful for. Aside from being alone, plus the other stresses I was under at the time, my best friend had abandoned me. The story is one I never share and I'm not going to do so now. Suffice it to say I was left with a broken heart. But it was the first time I had been love and the first time I had been rejected, so I still had some little spark of hope left in me, even while I was undergoing CBT and taking four types of antidepressants.

That spark lit up in me as I passed the general aisle. It had little Christmas trinkets and things, but also some plastic plates and other table-setters, not all holiday themed. I liked the idea of having my own place settings that were not porcelain (bad memories from breaking plates as a child). And there was a set that was white with flower and leaf designs in orange and purple and blue. Somehow it was very pretty. And there were two of them in everything. The price didn't put me out too much either, so I bought two sets. Two glasses, two plates, two bowls.

I remember imagining being in a relationship with someone better than the one who had just hurt me, putting those two glasses and plates and bowls to good use in a small apartment, our first home together, just us. That was why I bought two, instead of just one of each for myself. I could see that future and it cheered me a little. I thought someone out there must eventually see something special in me, the way I thought I was special; and the second set was for that person.

Since then, I've moved twice, but kept using those sets. (The second set sometimes got used for guests, particularly in the short time my sister lived with me.) And I don't suppose I should have expected plateware from Rite-Aid to last very long. But a year ago, one of the glasses sprung a leak. A few months ago, one of the plates started to fracture. And today, the bottom broke off from one of the bowls. I've now realized that it's symbolic.

Nearly six years since that Thanksgiving, I'm on rejection number two, and any spark that was left in my heart is gone. I regard the sets with disdain. I think about that 2010 version of me and how stupid she was. She spent extra money to buy a table set for someone who doesn't exist; or, more specifically, is not willing to exist. But it's much easier for me to ridicule my past self than it is for me to deal with the constant pain of what I thought would be that image, that person who would see my worth and raise me higher for it, as I did for him.

A cheap set of plastic tableware taught me the most basic, unassailable truth in this world: Love doesn't exist.

Many updates have been posted to the Shalamar website, on the blog. I’ll address the Deboracracy ones briefly:

-Illuminated Book Five, “Paradox,” should be ready by early- or mid-May. The trouble this time is that I have another project due first week of May; I’m hoping to get that one out of the way by the end of this weekend so I can focus on “Paradox.” I know where it’s going and how to get there now; I just have to write it. (Remind me to invent a thing that can take thoughts directly out of your mind and put them on paper or in a document.)

-Illuminated Book Six is “Heavens Fall,” and in case you didn’t guess from the title, Anyone Can Die. And a major character will.

-Illuminated Book Seven, “Prodigal,” will be the last in Series I. There will be massive changes to the status quo, which will lead directly into the events in my debut novel, Sovereign. (Actually, Sovereign’s timeline converges with Illuminated’s around “Primetime,” but in different universes. It’ll make more sense after “Prodigal.” Just trust me for now.)

-Sovereign will be released in mid-July, whether “Prodigal” is finished or not. You can read the first seven chapters of Sovereign on Wattpad.

-There will be a Sovereign release party, obviously in New Orleans.

-The sequel to Sovereign, Ascendant, has a release date of “next winter.”

-There will be an Illuminated Series II. Several other stories/novels have to happen first, though, so it probably won’t appear until mid-late 2017.

-Illuminated Series I and its associated short stories will be gathered into a print collection, most likely of three books. I haven’t decided whether the three-part collection will also be available in electronic form, but probably not.

-You can trope Illuminated now. Join in here.

-I’m not sure what other books I’m going to release this year. Candidates include Ephemera (which stars Crystalline Fosterman), Don’t Look Down (this is Reynardo Morales’ book), and Beckhardt’s (a book I wrote many years ago, but haven’t introduced into the Deboracracy). There will definitely be a series of short stories centered around psychiatrist Marshall Quatrevaux and the patients he handles, which is an all-star list of Deboracracy characters. It’ll be me trying my hand at humor.

We’re now past the halfway mark in Illuminated Series I.

To anyone who has been following the schedule I posted a few months ago on the official site blog, it will be obvious that I am extremely far off schedule. Unfortunately, that isn’t going to change.

There have been a few changes in my life recently, which all demanded my attention around the time that Book Four: Primetime was released. I have only started preliminary work on Book Five (working title Paradox), so I am quite certain a March release is not in the cards.

The good news is that now that I’m past the halfway point in the series, I can technically release Sovereign at any time. The setup for what happens in Sovereign is mostly revealed in Primetime, and technically Illuminated and Sovereign are happening at the exact same time (early December*). This will become more obvious in the three remaining Illuminated books, and it should all come together nicely.

Meanwhile, I am going to start marketing (more) for Sovereign. You’ll be hearing from Jael more often, and there are snippets to read. Did I mention I have a Wattpad? Wattpad makes you create an account, but you can read the first few chapters of Sovereign there, as well as a few exclusive short stories, giving you a taste of what’s to come in the Deboracracy; and you can follow me and be the first to know as I add more stuff!

As for Book Five, I have an outline that needs fleshing out. My past readers and RP friends will especially like this one because it will have loads and loads of cameos, including:

-Eileen Grier and Astaire Kenton, pre-Life of a Raindrop; -Christian Moynahan, from Eclipse (and Before the Mast); -Dianne and Adrien Lefévre, from Before the Mast and Skysails; -Jaime Rennick, from Deadlight; and possibly: -Reynardo Morales, from Deadlight; -René Renaud, from Rewritten City; -Marshall Quatrevaux, from Eclipse; -and if not a cameo, at least a mention of Rowan Bloodworth, from Before the Mast and Skysails. -“Kee Kee” from Book Four will also reappear. If you (like Blair) didn’t figure out who she was then, you will in Book Five!

So keep an eye out for Sovereign and the rest of the Illuminated series, starting with Book Five. It’ll be a roller coaster for sure. And also watch for upcoming Deboracracy projects and anouncements. I’ve got at least two more novels coming your way this year!

Shalamar has its own announcements to make, but I’ll save that for another day. But as a preview, expect to hear about more than just my projects…!

So it's been a long time, a more extensive editing process than I had expected. Once I figured out what the problem with “Inside Job” was, I started figuring out ways around it. In the end I chose to change the setup of the book, without having to rewrite it.

Book Three is now named "Triptych." So named because it runs three story arcs at once - one past, one present, and one entirely false. The arrangement allows Roscoe to explore her own psyche and her relationship with Blair as much as she wants, as freely as she wants, but within the context of my damn narrative.

The holdups are these: 1) my day job, 2) personal troubles, and 3) aligning the three stories in the necessary order. For this, of course, I made an outline (you all know by now I love to outline). As a result, two of the story arcs happen out of order; the present-day one is in order, but surrounded as it is by random memmories and daydreams, it is difficult to tell exactly what is present-day until things get closer to the climax. Or at least, that's my intention.

The epilogue does deliberately show which events were present-day. There's nothing really to show what was real and what was imagined beyond that, though, so you guys can have fun with that.

There are three or four new scenes I need to write, but mostly I'm just copying over from "Inside Job" at this point. According to my outline, I have five chapters and 7,000 words to go. This book might be longer than the past two, but there's a good reason for that; you'll see why.

So, aside from the long work week I have coming up, it shouldn't be much longer. I'm not ready to set a release date yet, though. I am also working on the book cover. It's a little more involved than the past two (kinda keeps with the name of the book).

Let’s not bother with the pretense: I think 2015 was a terrible year for music. The amount of mediocrity that ruled the charts is staggeringly frightening. And then, it seems, just about every album I was looking forward to (hello there Mumford & Sons, Florence + the Machine, MS MR) fell far short of expectations.

Fortunately, I was able to find some relief elsewhere, in lesser-known corners of the industry. Here I’ve listed ten albums released in 2015 that impressed me. The score is a ratio of “five-star” songs to total number of songs on the album, as keeping the listener invested is the most important part of putting together an album. (I did not include EPs, however, due to the shorter length. They have their own list.)

The albums come from many genres. What they have in common is that they innovated and propelled music forward, something which cannot be said of most Top 40 hits of late.

At the top of the list:

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10 Years, From Birth to Burial Hard Rock | 100%

On one hand, I should note that 10 Years has been my favorite band, hands down, for a long time. On the other, my first listen to From Birth To Burial resulted in a score closer to 50%. However, several listens later, I came to appreciate what the band was doing: experimenting, expanding their sound. This is their second release on their independent Palehorse label, and they are clearly making good use of their freedom. The band does not let up, from their hardest-driving tracks to the more thought-provoking cuts, and the entirety is a masterpiece to behold.

Notable Tracks: “Survivors?,” “Miscellanea,” “Selling Skeletons,” “Crimson Kiss”

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Purity Ring, another eternity Dance & DJ | 90%

This surprisingly satisfying release really has only one track that failed to impress me; unfortunately it’s the last one. But the rest of the album bubbles with creativity and fresh ideas, a definite departure from 2012’s Shrines. The album starts out on the lighter side, and takes a slow, tantalizing turn into darkness; this is what MS MR attempted and missed. Purity Ring takes the imagination and toys with it, without betraying their origins; if we’re all very lucky, they’ll take that growth and turn it into something incredible come next album.

Notable Tracks: “dust hymn,” stranger than earth,” “repetition,” “sea castle”

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AWOLNATION, Run Alternative | 71%

Based on simple enjoyment, Run is my favorite album of 2015. It paces itself well, while still managing to be gloriously schizoid. Compared to Megalithic Symphony, Run is just as experimental (albeit lacking rappers), but pulled tight and refined in a way that denotes tremendous growth. Every track is different, and many reward you with something truly unexpected if you are paying attention or that will make you scrub back to hear it again if you weren’t.

Notable Tracks: “Run,” “Kookseverywhere!!!,” “Dreamers,” “Windows”

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Chelsea Wolfe, Abyss Alternative | 64%

This release continues the journey of dark-alternative that has been growing in character in Wolfe’s albums. The tracks make a solid whole, while a few also stand out on their own. It’s nothing altogether unexpected, but it does offer some progression in its choices of musical stylings (no surprising Mood Whiplash tracks here). Altogether, it’s a strong showing.

Notable Tracks: “Carrion Flowers,” “Grey Days,” “Survive,” “After the Fall”

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Imagine Dragons, Smoke + Mirrors (Deluxe) Alternative Rock | 60%

The decision to release a deluxe version of a perfectly balanced album months after the initial drop still baffles me. Why not offer the six extra tracks as an EP? Like just about every other deluxe album, the tail-end additions feel more like random adds than cohesive pieces of a whole. Overall, the listening experience is excellent, though; the songs take a journey through life and its tribulations, hesitating here and there to reminisce, to be joyful, to express regret. It’s a beautiful trip.

Notable Tracks: “I’m So Sorry,” “Friction,” “Dream,” “Battle Cry”

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Hillsong UNITED, Empires Christian & Gospel | 58%

You might wonder, given the above entries, how a Christian release ended up on the list, but when this album continues to inspire me, a lapsed Christian, I feel the need to include it. Christian rock by design is meant to be simple and relatable, focused mostly on praise and community, so for Hillsong to have managed that while still being innovative and different is a tremendous feat. Empires delivers on every track, and never second-guesses itself. It transcends its genre, and can only be treated as such.

Notable Tracks: “Even When It Hurts (Praise Song),” “Here Now (Madness),” “Heart Like Heaven,” “Closer Than You Know”

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Angèle Dubeau & La Pietà, Ludovico Einaudi: Portrait (Deluxe) Classical | 56%

While we’re on the subject of underappreciated genres, let’s discuss this treatment of the composer Ludovico Einaudi’s works by my favorite violinist and her ensemble. The selected Einaudi pieces are from separate periods, but come together well, and of course are executed flawlessly. In classical music, it can be difficult to stand out among the repertoire, but needless to say this album does. There’s even a very tasteful remix included as the deluxe edition’s closing track.

Notable Tracks: “Life,” “Experience,” “Run,” “Time Lapse (feat. DJ Champion)”

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Chris Cornell, Higher Truth Rock | 50%

Here begins a three-way tie, with the three artists listed in alphabetical order.

I don’t know whether I was supposed to be aware that Chris Cornell had an album coming in 2015, much less an acoustic one, but it was very much a pleasant surprise. While a few of the songs start running together at the end, it is mostly very powerful and heartfelt, just as you would expect from Cornell. Even acoustic, the music manages to go hard at times, but more importantly, it makes you think, and it makes you wonder.

Notable Tracks: “Through the Window,” “Nearly Forgot My Broken Heart,” “Murderer of Blue Skies,” “Let Your Eyes Wander”

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EarlyRise, “Colors” Rock | 50%

After several years and countless unrelated singles, we finally get the full-length Colors - and it was worth the wait. Half of the album sounds no different than What If, but when the band does break away into a new sound, it is nothing short of amazing. EarlyRise have clearly grown in sound and style, and there is clear promise in that development. Let’s hope they keep growing - as brilliant as Colors is, their future work could break ground in a genre that desperately needs innovation.

Notable Tracks: “Someday,” “Peace,” “Colors,” “Sober”

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Lana Del Rey, Honeymoon Alternative | 50%

This is the Lana Del Rey album I have been waiting for ever since iTunes overhyped her debut with Born To Die. It is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it is built on the artistry Del Rey was supposed to have been known for from the beginning. This release, finally, does not sound like something I could find on half of Sirius XM. Del Rey sounds jaded, moody, even cynical - and it is in that which she finally finds her own. Perhaps breaking away from her industry’s expectations is just what she needed all along.

Notable Tracks: “Music To Watch Boys To,” “High By the Beach,” “Salvatore,” “Swan Song”

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There were many albums I reviewed that did not score at or above 50%; these ten just happened to do so. Other recommendations include:

-Breaking Benjamin - Dark Before Dawn -Cage the Elephant - Tell Me I’m Pretty (I’m wondering whether these guys will ever make an album of the calibre of Thank You Happy Birthday again) -Disturbed - Immortalized (Deluxe) -Halestorm - Into the Wild Life -Phoenix Chorale, Kansas City Chorale - Rachmaninoff’s All-Night Vigil (did you expect me to not include some sort of Rachmaninoff here?) -Shinedown - Threat to Survival -Silversun Pickups - Better Nature -Susanne Sundfør - Ten Love Songs -Three Days Grace - Human -X Ambassadors - VHS

(There is no hip-hop or R&B because the embarrassments released this year by those artists make me want to swear off them forever. As for jazz and reggae, I did not catch wind of anyone doing anything innovative in those genres this year. Maybe next.)

And some excellent EPs I did not include on the main list:

-4Minute - Crazy (K-Pop) -Alina Baraz & Galimatias - Urban Flora (Electronic) -Janine and the Mixtape - XXEP (R&B/Soul)

Finally, a couple of singles from not-quite-new artists to watch in 2016:

-CL, “Hello Bitches” - Anyone familiar with CL’s work with Korean girl group 2NE1 knows that this single is not at all representative of what CL can do. I’ve included it because it is a bit of a herald of what’s to come as CL enters the American market, which is in desperate need of creative and strong female rappers (I can count the number we currently have on one finger). Let’s hope no one tries to get in her way.

-CODEC, “Etiolate” - I’ve used the word “innovative” a few times already, which is fine because that does not even begin to describe this band’s sound and technique. Straddling hard rock and experimental electronic and melding them into fine art, these gentlemen have built impressive anticipation for a follow-up to 2012’s Horizontime. Fans expected that follow-up in 2015, but it was not to be; however, this track does help to soothe the disappointment. And whet the appetite. Excellent marketing there, fellas.

In which Blair gets the Christmas gift he never always wanted.

No one does Christmas like New Orleans. The entire city was decked out. There was music everywhere, although not so much as in the French Quarter; you couldn't turn a corner without hearing some carol or another. Everyone was pleasant, as well, unless you happened to be doing late holiday shopping. Or if you were driving, but here that's year-round.

"There's ice skating downtown!" Roscoe bounced up and down as she told me. She had found out from some friend and was telling me as I walked into the house. She had on a shirt but had already removed her bra for the evening; understandably my attention was briefly divided. "Yes, so I've heard. I take it you want to go." She was adorable when she was that excited.

She rolled her eyes. "Well, yeah."

"You do realize I could take you ice skating in New York City, or in Moscow, or on the rings of Saturn?"

She smirked. "Always the showoff, Blair."

"What's the point of power if I can't flaunt it?" I shrugged. "Of course we can go downtown."

"Good." She put on a smug look. "I've already done the rings of Saturn anyway. They aren't the best ice for skating, as you should know, Dr. Winters."

"True." I tilted my head. "What's that?"

Roscoe set the box aside. "Just a thing I got you."

"You know I don't celebrate Christmas."

"Then just accept it as a gift, Blair." Now she shrugged. "I don't celebrate it either. It's the wrong day."

"It's the twenty-fifth to match a 'pagan' holiday. The Christians were trying to convert them. I worked damn hard in lobbying for that."

She eyed me. "How true is that?"

"Depends on how many people are still alive to contradict me." I smirked.

"You're impossible."

"Thank you. What's in the box?"

"Something that you’ll unwrap," Roscoe replied, "on Christmas morning."

I folded my arms. "Now, Roscoe-"

"Well," she mused, "in the spirit of celebration, I suppose you could unwrap it on Christmas Eve."

That was tonight. Somewhat better. "What is it, then?"

"Oh, Blair." The noise she made was somewhere between a giggle and a snicker. "How you hate not knowing."

"Indeed."

"Take me skating."

"Yes, ma’am."

If you want to know how our skating trip went, imagine taking a small child skating, and you have your answer. Roscoe was completely giddy the entire time. And then she decided she wanted a slice of cheesecake. We did not have dinner reservations. Fortunately, I had connections that got us near enough to the front of the line at a certain popular cheesecake-bakery-slash-restaurant. (As apologies for cutting the line I bought the bar for the evening. That shut up most of the angry patrons.)

After that, we had to walk along the river and admire the full moon, and then listen to music along Canal Street. By the time we returned to our house, the neighborhood was shutting down, with parents putting their children to bed so they could slip gifts under fake trees and eat cookies left for Santa. I, however, had barely removed my coat when Roscoe reappeared with the box in her hands.

I looked at her. She said, “You have definitely earned this tonight.”

I suspect I will unravel all the mysteries of Creation before I figure out how Roscoe’s mind works. I took the box from her and started to peel off its wrapping, but she folded her arms and smirked. “No. I want you to try and guess what it is first.”

It was a perfectly square box, clearly cardboard underneath the wrapping foil. A small shake told me there was gift tissue inside. Otherwise it made no sound and did not move. “Well, it didn’t bark, so I have to say I’m glad you did not get yourself a puppy.”

She chuckled. “It’s definitely not a puppy.”

I peeled off the foil. Roscoe pouted. “Guess.”

Instead, I tossed the foil and then the top of the box aside. The gift was tucked under a few layers of tissue paper. I held it up and inspected it. “Roscoe….”

“Oh,” she said. “Don’t thank me yet.”

I turned it over in my hands. “You’re clearly getting to know me too well.”

“That’s just the beginning.” She stepped up to me. “I want to see what you’re going to do with it.”

I peered at her over the box. “There are many things I could do with this, Roscoe Williams.”

Again she smirked. “Then you should get started.”

“You’re saying I can play with this now?”

“By all means.” She set the now-empty box aside. “Please do.”

It's time I explained things.

"Bloodlines" was released on 30 October. As usual, I took a small break from writing and then started on the third book, "Inside Job," a few days later. But then my mother was rushed to the hospital, and I became swept up in trying to help her from abroad.

Despite the efforts of a few (and by "a few," I mean myself and Seph), my mother passed away on 12 November, half an hour after seeing my sister for the last time.

"Devastated" doesn't quite cover it. But I'd have to go into a long story of my family history to fully explain it, which I'm not inclined to do in honesty, so we'll have to stick with "devastated."

As I also lost my father in 2013, the only real family I have left is my twin sister. Add to that my anger over the situation and the way it was handled, plus a couple of other disturbing things that have happened in the meantime.

All this to say that the third book in Illuminated Series I, "Inside Job," is late. In fact the entire schedule is thrown off. As I expect "Inside Job" and the next book, "Primetime," to both be short, it is possible that I may catch up; but with my day job in retail and the holiday season gearing up, I dare not make any promises.

I have also slipped in my duties as an admin at Eclipse, a pilot at Before the Mast, and simply as a writer at Deadlight. I apologize also to those three communities, as well as a couple of others. I also apologize to Shalamar's followers as well as the Literary Whiskey community, for not providing the NaNoWriMo support I promised. I myself have not written for my NaNo novel since Day 1.

I'm working as quickly as I can on "Inside Job," considering that I am sick most of the time; and I will try to get back into gear for those writing/RP communities. But please bear with me.

I mean, you would think it would be simple. My name, where I'm from, that kind of stuff. But... well, for starters, I don't have a name. Not really. Not something you would consider a name. The people around me call me Roscoe. That's just part of an identity I made up for myself. See, I'm not really supposed to be here.

There's no place I'm particularly from, either. I've lived pretty much everywhere at some point. And as for being born... that gets complicated. I could explain it all, but there's so much of it that some of it's bound to be over-share. More than you need to know, more than it's safe for you to know.

Plus I'm really trying not to start immediately where Blair comes in. I can't define myself in terms of a man, no matter who he might actually be. Besides, some of the stuff from before him might actually be relevant. I don't know yet.

The church was filled with Johessmans doing what they did best: being grave. Not everyone wore black, but the atmosphere felt like we had.

It was an unfortunate reunion. Everyone was there - from us to Sheena to Jay and Jen to Jackie to Cyerra to Aunt Lilia to Uncle George - everyone who had some relation to Grandma Johessman. She had been the matriarch, the pulse, the life-force of the family. She was always right. She gave authorization on every move the family made. For some reason, the Johessmans needed that, needed that leadership, guidance, and it needed to be replaced, needed to fall to the strongest of them. It had to fall to the one with those qualities. It fell to the only one of them who had been strong enough to rise as a leader.

It fell to Shawn.

It wasn't by choice. It was natural selection. Maybe the Johessman gene pool has an "on switch" that determines who the clan's leader will be. A do-or-die mechanism that forces someone to, well, be better than the rest of them. That skipped a generation and appeared in my husband, the crack baby, Grandma Johessman's least favorite relative.

As you may have guessed, Shawn didn't need Grandma Johessman's "authorization" to do anything. She hated that he and Jay entered the music industry so young, hated that he married me, hated that we were having children. She didn't want to be a great-grandmother to our triplets.

I guess she lucked up.

The ceremony was nice, but not my style at all. It was too melancholy. See, when the Brown family has a funeral, we celebrate the departed person's life. When Johessmans have funerals, they mourn the person's loss.

(I guess I should've used the pronoun "we" in reference to both families, since I'm in love with the latter clan's alpha male and sign my name Rayleigh Johessman. But there are some qualities of my new family that I just don't like.)

We sat in the front row. A choir sang, a preacher preached, and Jay gave the eulogy. The funeral was short but thick. Afterward, everyone present touched my stomach.

Listen/purchase: Maladaptive - EP by Deborah Iyann