Mischief Always Wins The War

snapchat, insta, and quidditch=games that gryffindor just can’t lose. 

- They sit down to do all of their homework with the mindset that they have to get it all done to perfection in order to be better than everyone else in their classes. 

- But then they get distracted with Papa’s Sushiria, and Tumblr, and Wattpad, and Instagram, and everything else. 

- And then they realize that it’s so late that they would rather be in bed. 

- So then they decide that they can do their English homework during lunch, Calculus during Finance, skip French to do AP Human Geography… 

- But then they just decide to finish as much as they can and buckle down to work. 

- Long checklists of work to do for school and everything else so that they feel accomplished as they complete their work. 

- They’re the ones their friends always text when they need a picture of the homework, but they usually end up replying at around two in the morning when their friend has given up hope on passing their classes. 

- Slytherins either have lots of activities and homework and are completely stressed, or have none at all and end up doing bad things in their free time. 

“Tim Hortons holds 62% of the Canadian coffee market (compared to Starbucks, in the number two position, at 7%) 

“Canadians eat more doughnuts per capita and have more doughnut outlets per capita than any other nation“ 

“The company [Tim Hortons] opened twice as many Canadian outlets as McDonald's and system-wide sales also surpassed those of McDonald’s Canadian operations as of 2002”

tim horton the hockey player’s signature move was literally picking opposing players up and hugging them. the guy was like 6′5 on skates, built like a tank, would have come out on top in every hockey fight except that he absolutely refused to punch. someone would hit him and he’d just pick them up in a giant, angry bear hug. 

this one time he broke his jaw and leg in a collision and was off the ice for years, and this freaked him tf out, because dude bro do i like…….have value behind all this muscle? what if this like……happens again, bro? what if i can’t play hockey, bro? huh? bro. basically he broke his face and had an existential crisis. happens to the best of us.

so he started a donut shop because he figured he’d need something to do when the next injury rolled around, seeing as oblivion lurks around every corner and none of us have a purpose. he started it in hamilton, ontario. coffee was ten cents. 

anyways, when his face got better, he invited a police officer to come run his company so he could go play more hockey. which he did.

When I saw this I literally screamed in my head at the same time my hand flew to grab a hold of this magazine. Rejoice my fellow fanfic writers, we are valid, our writing is valid and we should be proud of being fanfic writers.