My journal, my nightmare and my diary.

It’s such a short story about my stray cat named Meng.

No matter how many times I pushed her away, she just went for a while and comeback to me again and again. For food or for me, nobody knows. I started to feed her 2 years ago. I stopped for a year because my Mom hates her. But She, my cat, always waits for me, patiently. What makes my heart melt, she always loyal. I know she…

Sekilas Topik: Gangguan Kesehatan Mental. Mengupas sedikit mengenai karakter Louisa Tan dalam buku Four Pieces karya Vivian Lin.

Sekilas Topik:

Gangguan kesehatan mental. Mengupas sedikit mengenai karakter Louisa Tan dari buku Four Pieces.

-Vivian Lin

Louisa Tan bukan siapa-siapa. Dia hanya wanita muda biasa yang penampilannya juga biasa-biasa saja, bukan primadona kampus juga bukan bunga desa. Sekilas terlihat normal hampir tanpa cacat. Hidupnya santai hampir tanpa beban menurut kacamata orang luar yang, seperti…

#poem #poetry #love #blind #drugs #angst

You were everything

You were everywhere

But you’re not here

In my life

Not anymore

I used to wonder why

I used to ask God why

Now I know

It’s all my fault

That I trust the wrong person

Given the second chance

Then sold me to the devil

Put me sleep with those pills

Been tasted lot of drugs

You knew my favorite

You are toxic to me

We both are

Into each other

I know it’s not healthy

I know it’s not right

I know something is wrong

Yes, something had happened

But I am too scared to admit

That I need him even more than I think

I couldn’t let him go

We couldn’t let each other go

That’s the problem

That’s our problem

That’s my problem

Even he could leave anytime

Bu…

After met up session with a friend I went home with online transportation like usual. Then the driver has asked about my age. Btw I always wearing a face mask along way home for secure only. Not 100% safety here if you walk alone but I get used to it, been living here for years dan terpaksa memberanikan diri. NO F* choice at least I could go back to my mom's womb and rebirth. And I was confused when he asked about my age. Always like this. Then he said, "I mean based from your voice and the way you were talking you seem young. Are you a college student?"

"No. I work by the way.”

“Oh. I thought you were in college."

“Um, no."

“So it's a day off for you?"

"Yep."

Well, he was just try to be nice, I know. But, please stop questioning my age and my personal stuffs if you're stranger. That's weird af. It's not your own business anyway. I know I looked like twelve even some Guard Security service at department store sometimes asked me some stupid question like, "Dek,kok gak sekolah? Bolos yah?"----- like, what?

Everything you need to know about Four Pieces.

Well, in my spare time I want to write this to you all about Four Pieces and something more about it. Sorry, the book is with Bahasa but I use English to elaborate it because I don’t know it’s hard to express something with Bahasa, it might ruin the real meaning from what I suppose to say. Believe me if you have to handle more than two languages in your life it would be good also sucks sometimes because your brain might confused in a minute or so. Don’t be jealous, mother tongue, I can’t get used to it in daily to be honest.

Anyway, back to the main topic, Four Pieces. No, it’s not pieces of shits from all of me. You guys really smart to assume it was all about me. But thank you so much that means you have read it, kept it in your mind and it made you think that it was all about the author, Huh?

Basically it’s about mental illness as I said before. 4 mental health issues. Depression, anxiety, self harm and bipolar disorder. But I didn’t explain details in the book, it’s just go with the flow with the plots from the point of view of the main character, Louisa Tan. And No, it’s not about love story, sorry if I disappointed you. If you want another “love story” I was working on it with the next one, just saying.

So, why depression, anxiety, self harm and bipolar disorder? Where did I get all those scary things? Scary? Mental illness scared you more than all those human version of corruptors, liars and their puppets? Funny.

I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety with different years. I got depression when I was 18, one year after graduation from high school. I have few friends also been dealing with the same stuffs like anxiety, self harm and bipolar disorder and believe me they are all amazing people.

One day my best friend lost her father. I called her for the first time after been separated for years. She moved aboard and living with her husband and kid. We lost contact since I came into her wedding day 5 or 6 years ago I guess. I called her, we talked for hours and days and all drafts written in my head. I opened my laptop and started to write the first draft. In one day I finished it and the next day I just do some editing and proof reading myself till it gets done. It was perfect and amazing how she inspired me lots to continue this. She knows I love to write since we were in junior high. So when the book been published I told her about it and she was shocked and said, how can I get that book, Viv! I told her she would get one from me. I know she’s proud of me. She wrote me message and it’s beautiful.

There are lots of long articles I want to write to share to you but I have my limit here. So the next one would be great storytelling.

Thanks for reading.

Happy holiday, humans.