Something Funny

^^^the artist is @axureneas 

It’s 7am and my brain hurts looking at this

And she has to lug a shield around just so, like, fucking muskets can’t kill her. Like if someone shoots an arrow at her, she needs to block that, or she’ll die, apparently.

So just off-screen there, picture Superman just casually strolling by. “Hey, you, uh, you need some help there? Wanna stand behind me? I have this cape, it blocks bullets too.”

“No, I’m fine!”

10.

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me: hey lana there’s some roadkill by the side of the road let’s see what it is

lana, already used to my scavenging habits: *sighs* ok, beth. *lights a blunt*

me, going closer to the roadkill: wait holy shit….. this is lorde (ella maria lani yellich-o’connor)…. lorde are you okay?????

lorde (ella maria lani yellich-o’connor): yea i was just method acting for my new album, what are you doing out here

me: i’m with lana we’re getting drugs

lorde: ok it would really help if you just carried me around like roadkill for my album lana wouldn’t even notice really

me, weirded out but will do anything for lorde because i feel like she is my friend: um ok *carries lorde (ella maria lani yellich-o’connor) back to the van* hey lana……. just have this roadkill here im going to put it in the back

lana: *nostrils flare* is that…… ella maria lani yellich-o’connor i smell…

me: *laughs nervously* oh hohoh of course not miss grant you must surely be mistakening the smell of ella maria lani yellich-o’connor for this large non-decomposable bird i picked up

lana: …. that would be a good lyric…. thank you for providing me with inspiration. i agree with you, spiritually. *hands me the blunt*

lorde, arising through the back: im so glad we’re all blood sisters