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abuzd

cheruib

i miss everyone i ever met all the time

I really fucked up tonight.

dogrotpdf

me. me when a poem says something ive felt before

annori

me, when a poem says something i’m feeling at this very moment

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Woke up yesterday so depressed and I just I don't know I can't keep my head straight. Very heavily considered killing myself before work. Yesterday I just sat and did nothing and cried the whole day. Everyone at my work kept asking me if I'm okay and it was pissing me off because what do they want me to say??? That I almost killed myself instead of coming in??? I used to burn myself by heating metal on the stove but I can't do that because my girlfriend is always out there so I cut myself with a box cutter and it barely hurt so it didn't make me feel better at all. I think I have too much scarring to feel it properly.

#suicide tw #self harm tw

sacred-portal

pawgliacci

At the end of my rope and it keeps getting longer like some sort of clown handkerchief bit?

frightstricken-deactivated20260

licensed therapists when your problems aren't mild social anxiety and being sad once in a while

so-many-ocs

[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories

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frankiecorleone

So dysphoric today I tried to tape my chest down and it wasn't working properly so I had to take it off and put a bra on and my face and my side profile is so feminine and I want to cry

I want to do hrt but I want to have kids so i feel like I need to wait until after that

#i love the fog

I'm making little gnomes and I'm gonna sell them on etsy I have never been more passionate and excited about something in my life I have so many ideas

I'm going to promote them on tiktok my plan is to make lots of videos of me making the gnomes and then hopefully by the time I'm ready to sell the gnomes I'll have a some people interested in them

It's always been my dream to make art and have people like it enough to buy it

My girlfriend was trying so hard to stay awake because she didn't want me to hurt myself and I wish I could have told her that she had nothing to worry about but I just held her until she passed out

It was so gut wrenching to see her fight to stay awake I feel so guilty because I was planning on hurting myself I was googling lethal doses for meds that we have in the house and then decided that i wouldn't be able to kill myself right now because my girlfriend has no money she is dependent on me for everything and I have a lot saved enough for her to be fine for a long time without me but I can maximum transfer her only $3000 from my online banking. So in order to actually give her my money when I die I would need to go to the bank and do something? I'm not sure honestly but I think it would be very hard to do without her figuring it out

So then I settled on just waiting until she fell asleep and giving myself some really bad burns but then she did that and now I feel way too guilty to do that. I didn't tell her anything that I was thinking she just figured it out from how I was acting I guess

#suicide tw #self harm tw

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I knew that I didn't identify with being a girl from about when I was 16. I didn't get the courage to tell people that until about a year ago when I was 22 where I started going by a different name and telling my friends that I was non binary but it doesn't feel right. It never felt right. It just felt relieving to say that I wasn't a girl

I told everyone that any pronouns were fine because I didn't want to face the reality of everyone misgendering me but I desperately only wanted people to use he/him and I would get so happy on the rare occasion one of my friends actually did.

I've come to this realization but I have no idea what to do with any of it

#long post #gender

I think I'm a trans man. I wish so badly I was born as a man and I could wear goth makeup and look like a hot goth man instead of a woman.

No matter how I dress i always look like a woman to everyone. I have a buzz cut, I wear men's clothes, and I wear platform shoes everyday to make me look taller.

I have very feminine "cute" features and I'm told constantly at work how cute I am. It's starting to become really draining for me dealing with clients all day where every single one will use she/her and tell men how cute I am and I just have to smile and thank them for coming in so they will hopefully tip me.

I genuinely believe that if I started physically transitioning and socially transitioning that I would make less money at work because I get paid per service that I do +tips. Will I get the same amount of people coming to book with me or referring other people to me or tipping me if they know I'm a trans man? I don't think so.

I live in probably one of the best places to be trans but there's still so much hate around. My girlfriend is trans and she tells me she's worried about finding a new job because she worries about the environment and people not accepting her

I don't absolutely hate my body. Do I wish I had a penis? Yea definitely but I don't feel intensely dysphoric about my current body. I really feel like because I look so feminine that if I started taking testosterone I would look ugly. I feel like it wouldn't work on me properly and I would never pass so why bother

#long post #gender

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