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@dc-nuts
have we talked about this yet? please tell me weāve talked about this already

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ā¦ļøLike if usingā¦ļø
Dick is extra T H I C C
the butts match
this is all I could think of with that friggingĀ batman conspiracy post memes ruin lives bruce.
WE JUST TOOK THIS MEME TO THE NEXT LEVEL HOLY GOD IāM DYING LOL.
In retrospect this continuation seems obvious.
Y'all don't understand. I love this man.

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how is it not canon that when Alfredās pissed at Bruce, he serves everyone else handmade rigatoni with a secret sauce recipe and just when the batkids are all sitting down to dinner, he opens a cold ass can of spaghettios āmeatball delightsā and plops it down in front of Bruce radiating donāt like it? then starve energy
and Bruce just sighs and eats it
Then starve.
dark knights of steel #1 variant cover by dan mora
I love how all of the Batman villains are like āah heās not at the manor, itās defenseless! and then alfred just racks an AK-47 and is like pull up bitch
Batmanās Villains: The butler will be easy prey!
Heās just an old manā¦he doesnāt have any of the Batmanās gadgets or training or fighting skills!
Alfred: Oh my youāre right
Thereās something else of Master Bruceās I donāt have as well
(Cocks a shotgun) A CODE AGAINST KILLING
Batmanās Villains: Wayne isnāt here to save you old man!
Alfred:
Alfred is the originalĀ āCall an ambulance ā but not for meā
@dragonpuppies I spent way too long on this
Bruce: I have a code.
Alfred: And I have a gun.
Bruce: time to remove the guns.
Alfred: good fucking luck.
Iāve peer reviewed @ebonyheartnetās addition and found that it deserves a reblog.
We donāt appreciate the fact that Bruce Wayne is a Kardasian level celebrity enough. Everyone knows him. I want more one shots and crack fic moments where the League (Pre identity reveals) just openly talk about Bruce Wayne in front of Batman.
Just imagine them playing fuck, marry, kill with famous actors and such and throwing Bruce into the mix. And Batman just sits there, silently suffering as he listens to the reasons why Flash and Lantern would marry, fuck, or kill him. He prays they choose kill. They donāt.
Barry: Eat the rich!
Bruce: Oh thank Go-
Clark: Oh, I intend to š„“š„µ
Itās Batmanās turn. Bruce needs to decide whether to marry himself for the money or throw himself off the cliff.
Okay but can you imagine what kind of identity reveal situation that would be?
āI would fuck ā-, I would marry ā-, and then I would commit suicide.ā
āBatman, thatās not how the game is played. You have to choose for Bruce Wayne.ā
āI did.ā
āā¦WHAT?!ā
Omg this is the content I live for šš

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not a single braincell between them, as it should be š
Batman: Wayne Family Adventures #2 - āThe Last Cookieā (2021)
written by CRC Payne art by Starbite, Maria Li, Lan Ma, & Jean Kim
Gotta keep a straight face u guys
based on this post
Man at first in the last panel I thought Alfred was checking his own pockets for money to pay the fee for Jason.
pls spare some brain cells for them. thank u
BONUS:

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*Hnggrr* āHeās⦠not ānotā my bestfriendā¦ā