serve me the sky with a big slice of lemon

a few years ago I started posting less on socials with some attitude of “oh I don’t need to tell the world things happened to prove they did or share my opinion on everything” or whatever and at some point that evolved into failing to even open apps to lurk for weeks at a time as I worked on stuff in my brain and like, started grieving the decades I spent in the anguish of undiagnosed autism, and then I continued using the momentum from the height of Covid to withdraw a little more physically when more and more my efforts to stay in touch with people or catch up were increasingly postponed/cut short/ignored and not for lack of effort to the contrary I’ve ended up in what for all intents and purposes is a little relationship bubble even though I’ve been so careful not to let it consume me and even though I love him dearly and he’s almost sickeningly supportive and patient I wish I hadn’t lost a lot of the other things I used to have going on