homophobic that im not a man in 1845 but the sexy version of 1845 where im wearing a poofy cool shirt and its a stormy summer night so i run to the big abandoned mansion for shelter and as i light a candle and walk the corridors i see portraits of a dashingly handsome man who seemingly never ages and then with a clap of thunder the top of the stairs illuminate and i see him standing there wearing a cape and then he tops me for like 7 hours at least

thats right gay men like vampires too. not all of us are into warewolves some of us are intellectuals

i mean im not but statistically speaking theres gotta be at least one who is

yesterday for April Fool’s my workplace had a short training article on recognizing computer-generated faces from real ones and one of the tricks mentioned was “count the teeth” and I just wanted to say that it’s both ironic and kind of horrifying how society has unwittingly cycled right back to IF YE MEET A MAN ON THE ROAD, COUNT HIS FINGERS LEST YE DEAL UNKNOWING WITH A FAE 

Where’s that image with the self driving car that is trapped in a salt circle made of “do not cross” symbols that its software won’t let it disobey

(over the intercom) could we get a vibe check at the front register please

Whoever started the “watching horror movies lowers your vibration therefor you can’t be a spiritual person and enjoy horror movies” bullshit needs to shut up

This is like watching the very tip of an iceberg float past and being glad you can’t see how big it is under the water.

something about netflix castlevania felt really weird but oddly familiar in the way the story is medieval low fantasy and yet every character is not only speaking in a super modern way but constantly dunking on eachothers backstories, dropping f bombs with impunity, and going on 5 minute tangents on whether or not vampires really are killed by running water and I couldn’t put my finger on it until I realized they all talk like they’re players in a dnd campaign

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

PSA: never put stickers on your helmets (unless you have checked with the manufacturer) because the adhesive can weaken the structure!

Hey PSA! YOU MUST GO TO THE HOSPITAL IF YOUR HELMET LOOKS LIKE THOSE ABOVE! Helmets prevent you from dying but you could STILL BE CONCUSSED or have internal injuries! And always replace a helmet after a fall where you hit your head! Even if it doesn’t look dented, the padding inside can still be damaged enough that it’s much safer to get a new one!

Once upon a time one of my children was riding a bike on the cul de sac we lived on. And they were wearing a helmet. And one of the other kids asked me, “Why are they wearing a helmet?” And I said, “Because they like their brain and the helmet can help protect it. Remember how C fell and broke his arm? A helmet can keep you from breaking your head.” Next thing I knew, every kid on the cul de sac was wearing a helmet. Similar rules for helmets as for child car seats. If the helmet or car seat is in an accident bad enough to damage the vehicle or the people in it, it needs to be replaced. The exception with helmets is that if you do not hit your head or the helmet, and it has no visible damage, it does not need to be replaced. But even a dent on a helmet requires a replacement, as part of how it works is through the distribution of forces around the head provided by an intact arch. A dent can direct forces to the location of the dent.  (With a child car seat, if the airbags don’t go off AND no one is injured AND the only damage is mild bumper damage, and the child is not in the seat at the time of the accident, I’d feel comfortable not replacing, but if any one of those things is not true, replacement is the safest.)

i.e. why when you or someone else gets stabbed or impaled, you should leave the object in the wound until medical help arrives.

i feel like that last comment should be accompanied by a bill-wurtz-style jingle

YOUR TELLING ME THEY USED GOD AS A BASKETBALL?