Oh Boy!

ex:

newsflash but a lot of people who join theater are also nd! calling them clowns & weird & annoying for indulging in their interests & posting abt it (not necessarily the posts mentioned in the screenshot but even then its still people just being assholes for no reason)

its also not just theater. like ""normal"" gays will make fun of anyone whos gay and loud about their abnormal interests

also even if it were about music, your friend is probably sharing that music with you because they 1. enjoy it and want to share their happiness w u or 2. think youll enjoy it.

i used to be a shitty truscum bc i was around exclusively cis people irl and constantly felt like i had to prove myself as a trans person/a boy/etc and had literally never experienced anything else, there was a set bar i wasnt living up to, so i applied that same pressure and standards to other trans people (”you need xyz to be trans”/”if you do/think/feel xyz youre not really trans”) like i expected people to jump through hoops in order to prove they were a Real Tran bc that was my experience

but then i started attending an lgbt group and for the first time i was just taken as what i said i was. i didnt have to explain myself or back myself up or prepare to answer a bajillion questions before people thought of me as legitimate, i just said i was a trans boy and that my pronouns were he/him and people went “okay.” and even before i was at that step, when i said i thought i was a trans boy but was going by they/them for the time being people just said “okay” and took my word for it. nobody questioned me (unless they were just general questions to try and get to know me better), nobody second-guessed me, nobody tried to analyze me or explain how i was wrong about myself and my identity, everyone just accepted what i said as the truth

I had the exact opposite time as you. I was always welcomed and nobody ever asked questions to anyone or anything, even with cis people, never had any issue. Hell even now I don't have any issue, everyone has been always respectful of me, even when I was in a very fragile state. I might be the luckiest trans person alive.

I still believe what I believe, I still trust the knowledge we have about transsexualism, and I'm very much displeased about what the community has become. It took me a while to figure it out because of that unquestioning setting, where people never challenged their ideas or truly tried to find out why they believe what they believed.

It was hard to try and understand what was dysphoria, and overall what I feel, when everyone was like "you're valid whatever you are" and never engaging into what is really dysphoria. Where does it come from, is it a nature or a culture concept etc etc. I was alone trying to find out about what I was suffering from, because no one in the group, or only a tiny portion of it, was suffering from it.

The trope "you just hate yourself" has been used again and again against people like me and it's frustrating. Not saying that I don't suffer from internalized transphobia though, just that it's unrelated.

My life hasn't been shitty, I've been on the LGBT scene for a while, I still don't think the majority of the people who claim to be trans are actually voicing opinions that will help trans people on the long run. I still believe misinformation is bad, I still think we should listen to professionals who actually know their subject.

An allergy is an extreme sensitivity to something that might not bother most people.

There are common ones and rare ones

They range from mildly annoying to life threatening, depending on the degree of sensitivity.

Not everyone has them. Some people might have several.

There’s no need to include allergy warnings when your audience is small and well known and you know no one present is allergic to anything you’re bringing.

When your audience is wider or unknown, it’s courteous to include warnings for the more common ones (peanuts, milk). Because better safe than sorry.

If you find out that someone with a rarer one might be present, you should include warnings for things you usually wouldn’t (cayenne pepper, mint).

If you set off an allergic reaction, you apologize even if you didn’t know they had that allergy, you do what you can to help, and you take care not to do it again.

Teasing someone for having one is stupid.

People don’t choose to have them, and those that have them wish they didn’t.

Faking one that you don’t have is bad form.

if I said “dykes unite!” it would be seen as a rallying cry for all of us who identify as dykes, but if I say “queer folks unite!” I’m going to get countless responses about how I’m “forcing queer onto people.”

concern over it being a “slur” is half assed and hollow ringing at best when no other reclaimed slurs get treated the same way, and besides the fact, its like no one understands what the word “reclaiming” even means.

you’ve been trained to.

the reason you see someone saying “dykes unite!” and don’t assume the same thing as you would if it were “queer folks unite!” is you have observed and absorbed singular responses of people insisting “you’re forcing that on me!” with queer, and not with dyke.

this trains the reaction in you that people using queer are forcing it on others, without you criticizing that at all.

and y'all don’t observe in the slightest who is starting these chain reactions, who are conditioning you into singularly treating the word queer and people who identify with it differently than all other reclaimed slurs and people who use them.

but I’ll tell you: it’s TERFs. radfems. truscum, transmeds. racists. biphobes. literally any kind of shitty asshole you can think of that doesn’t like the term for political and bigoted reasons outside of “its a slur.”

and what do they do to turn sensible, non bigoted people against a word they don’t like? the same things the cishets do. demonize the group (“they force it on us!”) and therefore tainting the identity by association of “bad behavior.”

this turns into what you see today, ignorant LGBTQ people re-weaponizing a decades reclaimed slur at their own people, like derogatorily saying “kweer,” because they’ve been conditioned into believing their own community members are out for them.

the idea that community members are automatically forcing the term on people who don’t identify with it, when they’re just using their own comfortable language, is a flat out prejudice. and one you don’t afford other people who use reclaimed slurs in the exact same way. its an assumption aimed at your own goddamn community members, how in the hell is that not bigoted?

100% of the time when I see a queer person defending their own language (key word DEFENDING, because they got attacked for it,) the response is always “well sorry, guess I’m the bad guy for not wanting queer to be forced on me.”

yeah. you are the bad guy. because you’re playing a pathetic victim card and villifying people based on your own personal, prejudiced belief that queer people all want to force their identity on you.

i’m just tired of it, i’m tired of not being warned about this shit and im tired of having people get mad and defensive because someone dared to say something in a dumb cartoon is making them uncomfortable.

trans girls who don’t care about their chests: ✔✔✔✔✔

trans girls with short hair: ✔✔✔✔✔

trans girls with long hair: ✔✔✔✔✔

trans girls who are chubby: ✔✔✔✔✔

trans girls who are skinny: ✔✔✔✔✔

trans girls who don’t pass: ✔✔✔✔✔

trans girls who don’t wanna come out: ✔✔✔✔✔

trans girls who are lesbians: ✔✔✔✔✔

trans girls who are straight: ✔✔✔✔✔