Puns 'n Roses

What… Was… the… Plan…

shoutout to the time my mom was hammered and i heard her trying to tell my dad that she murdered her first husband years ago and my dad very patiently said “i saw glenn in an elevator last week”

me too simone

I named him chicken nugget

Aaaa he’s turning a duller color… I hope he’s alright

So apparently chicken nugget is a spicebush swallowtail and they turn yellow before they pupate. He was making little silk things everywhere Bruh this caterpie is going to evolve to metapod today my boy isn’t messing around

False alarm he moved a bit This guy

hes been in cocoon for 10 days now 🎉🐛🎉

we believe in you, chicken nugget

When has a child of the first family ever???????

Michelle was like “So you think you just gone lay around in my house all summer? Sasha: But we the first family… Michelle: No I’M THE FIRST FAMILY. You ain’t paying no bills. You got First family money?

seriously go sasha 

i can’t believe i leveled up enough to unlock cake pillow guy’s backstory

I can’t believe the “sweet dreams” joke didn’t occur to me

chill it’s cos your rare

homie ur about to be cooked medium rare and sacrificed

Omg

It got better

if you look closely you can see that one of chris evans’ eyes blink .375 seconds faster than the other and it’s the funniest fucking thing

if you step on a person’s foot they open their mouths, just like trash cans.

LMAO WHY AM I STILL LAUGHING AT THIS