trouble don't last always, bitch

This is what it’s all about. Saturday night. At home. Switching between the same 4 apps on my phone. Getting scared.

Guy who has to one-up everything: yeah, well, I had couscouscous for dinner last night

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

my new poker strat: start tearing up after looking at my cards no matter what i got

hey, listen. I don't care about any of that, okay? I'm going to destroy you.

Both options convey that he's horny

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

EVERYOBODY GET DOWN HES TAKING A CREATIVE LIBERTY

im a fake fan of everything i like because i cant remember anything

you can access a different mode by washing your hair

the thing about heavy handed symbolism is that sometimes. it's fun.

"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane