t( ' u ' t)

your 20s are about elves, your 30s are about continued meditations on the elf

once you hit your 40s it's time to find an elf

Fuck I hate elves god damm it

you've got 2 years left of that but then you have to make some changes

I need my weird alone time or I will explode

im not "blackmailing you" okay i am casually reminding you of information that i have about you that i could hypothetically give to another person to negatively impact your life as a way of getting you to do what i want you to do. thats not blackmail ok we're just having a conversation. im just talking

posts funnier with timestamps on

mwah is a very important word

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this