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“i couldn’t help it, i was having a bad episode” is a justification, not an apology.

“i’m so fucking sorry, i fucked up, i don’t deserve to live, i should stop talking to anyone ever, i should die” is a second breakdown and a guilt trip. it is not an apology.

when you apologize, the focus should be on the person you hurt. “i’m sorry. i did something that was hurtful to you. even if i was having a rough time, you didn’t deserve to hear that,” is a better apology. if it was a small thing, you can leave it at that.

if you caused significant distress to the other person, this is a good time to talk about how you can minimize damage in the future. and again, even if it is tempting to say you should self-isolate and/or die, that is not a helpful suggestion. it will result in the person you’re talking to trying to talk you out of doing that, which makes your guilt the focus of the conversation instead of their hurt.

made in anticipation of pride month!

Both are trying to imply that lesbians can and should be attracted to the opposite sex.

Both send lesbians the message that there’s something wrong with them if they don’t like penis (aka being homosexual). Either they haven’t found the right one, or they’re transphobic.

We know nobody is forcing lesbians to like penis, but we also know that people are real good at making us feel guilty for not liking it, and are very determined to make us feel that way.

I keep seeing videos and posts of people saying “genital preferences aren’t real, you’re just transphobic”, “if you don’t like [X] you’re transphobic”, “you’re making trans women feel bad by not liking penis”, etc.

The most shocking of them all for me is whenever people call lesbians transphobic for “centring their lesbianism around not liking penis”, which usually means they don’t like us making jokes about not liking penis, not worrying about getting pregnant, that sort of thing. Or for not liking penis being a reason we knew we were gay.

What the hell do you want us to say? Sorry that we’re homosexual?? Sorry that you’re so insecure that lesbians not liking penis makes you feel bad?

Trans people have every right to transition, to be seen as the gender they’ve transitioned to, and to be treated with respect. But lesbians deserve respect too. And it sure as hell isn’t respectful to tell us that our sexuality—how we were born—is transphobic.

I’m tired of the disrespect that lesbians get for simply being lesbians. It’s not our fault that we cannot be attracted to something we aren’t wired to be attracted to. Please just give us the basic decency of not trying to make us feel like terrible people for how we experience our attraction.

So no, lesbians don’t like penis. We are not attracted to penis. This does not make us transphobic, it makes us homosexual.