I finally did it. I posted the fanfic about my dark HC for #feralweave ! I’ve literally never written a fan fic before so please bare with me 😅 hope you enjoy.
You can also read it in AO3 if preferred: As long as we have eachother by artsyrissa - Baldur's Gate (Video Games) archiveofourown.org/works/53208853 via @ao3org
It was a bright sunny day on the streets of Baldur’s gate. Suspiria and her crew had just taken down a devil, rescued the grand duke from a tyrannical dickhead, and saved their companion from a dagger happy psycho. Suspiria felt invincible, the feeling of excitement swelling in her belly with each step down the cobble stone streets…. Or maybe it was nausea? It was definitely nausea… she darted away from the group to the nearest alley, retching aggressively on the tattered wall. A few passer-bys gasped in disgust as Gale ran past them to comfort her, a little taken aback.
“My love, are you alright?” He asked placing a soothing hand on her shoulder.
“Yeah, I think it must’ve just been some bad fish. I’m…..” she hurled again. She wiped the vomit from her chin and smiled, then continued her sentence. “Fine.”
She was not fine, Suspiria wasn’t one to get sick easily and her weak attempt at a reassuring smile was out of character to say the least. Something was wrong and Gale knew it.
“How about we go back to camp for a while and get some rest? You’re in no condition…” She cut him off mid sentence with a snarky bite to her voice “I’m fine, we have much to do, there’s no time for rest, I can handle an upset stomach!” She crossed her arms and glared up at the wizard, waiting for his response.
“Suspiria…” he gave her a look and she knew he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. She rolled her eyes and insisted she was fine once more.
“Wellllll… looks like you lost your breakfast, not so sure you’re fine…” Karlach interjected.
“It’s not a good look, darling. Disgusting really...” Astarion gagged a little at the sight of her vomit on the wall.
“I told you not to eat that fish.” Shadowheart chimed in.
Just the word “fish” made Suspiria feel queezy. The group continued to bicker as she hurled again. This time she fell to her knees from pain welling in her stomach.
“Ok… time to get you to a bedroll.” Gale scooped her up putting her arm around his shoulder to guide her back to camp.
“I don’t need your help.” She protested, stumbling away from Gale. She put her hands on her knees to catch herself from falling, she was exhausted. Gale ignored her tantrum, coming over to help her once more. She finally gave in, leaning into him as he walked her back to camp.
“Gale, they need you… they’re… idiots. I love them, but they’re idiots.”
“You love them huh? That’s unusual for you to admit. You must be really sick.” He chuckled.
“Shut up” she weakly elbowed him.
“How about this, you take a nap and I’ll catch up to them after you’re settled at camp? I’ll come back to check on you later. Wyll is there, so he can keep an eye on you.” Suspiria grunted, clearly not happy with the bargain, she didn’t like feeling weak and she especially didn’t like Wyll, but she agreed nonetheless.
Wyll and his father were back at camp prepping battle plans and organizing supplies. Everyone else was out, getting ready for the fight of their lives.
“Hey, what are you two doing back so soon? Everything ok? Oh Suspiria!” He paused, shocked to see her so feeble, “…you don’t look so good.”
“She not feeling well, the fish she ate this morning didn’t agree with her.” Gale helped Suspiria into his tent and started tucked her into his bedroll, before gently cupping her forehead to check for a fever.
“You’re tucking me in… like a child?” She complained.
“Would you like me to stop?” He removed his hand from her face, happy her temperature wasn’t above the norm.
“No…” she gently grabbed his wrist in protest. “…don’t.” She looked at him with that look he loved. The look she only gave him. He smiled and kissed her forehead.
“I’ll be back later, my love. Rest up.” He started to exit the tent when Suspiria feebishly groaned “Gale…”
He smiled and let out a faint chuckle “I love you more.”
Normally Suspiria would’ve made fun of mushy moments such as this, but things were different with Gale. She rolled over as he closed the tent behind him. Her lids felt heavy, and after a few moments she couldn’t help but to close her eyes and drift off.
Suspiria must’ve been asleep, for hours, flitting between dreams and nightmares. Eventually, Wyll heard whimpering from the tent and opened it to check on her.” She was sweating profusely, her face twitching in terror.
“Suspiria” he gently shook her. She bolted up gasping for air.
“Gods Wyll! Don’t scare me like that, unless you plan on losing your other eye”
Suspiria didn’t like Wyll, and he knew it. It didn’t bother him all that much, or so he claimed, but he found a hard time respecting her boundaries, mostly because he wasn’t exactly sure what they were. “Sorry to disturb you, it’s just… you sounded scared, I was just checking on you” she didn’t respond. “I made you some of that tea you had made for me when I had that concussion, I’m not sure if it helps with food poisoning, but it made me feel a million times better, whatever it is.” He smiled awkwardly setting the tea next to her bedroll.
“Oh um, you remembered that? That’s really nice Wyll… thanks.” She took a sip, pleasantly surprised that he had gotten the recipe right.
“Sure thing, let me know if you need anything. I’ll uh, just be out here…sooo yup.” Wyll felt so uncomfortable around her, he wasn’t used to people just not liking him. He wanted to be friends with everyone, but he just couldn’t find a way in with her.
“Ok.” She rolled away from him. He paused for a moment, then shut the tent, feeling slightly defeated.
Gale and the others returned right as the sun began to set. Gale had stopped at the market to get some ingredients for his famous chicken noodle soup. They had some extra coin from helping out some of the locals, so he figured this was a good time to splurge a little.
“Hello my love!” He said crawling into the tent beside her. “How are you feeling?”
“Much better.” She smiled at him, her grin wide, but her eyes looked sad, scared even. He knew something was bothering her, but she looked better, the color had returned to her face and the dark circles under her eyes had lightened. Pushing for her feelings had never worked before, so as much as he wanted to, he resisted the urge to pry, he knew she’d come to him when she was ready. He kissed her cheek and told her about the special soup that he was going to make her. Her eyes lit up ever so slightly. She loved when he got excited over little things like making her a warm meal when she wasn’t feeling well. She also loves his soup!
The evening went on as usual, Gale served everyone their meal and they all chatted and laughed by the fire before getting ready for bed.
Everyone went to bed after dinner, they were all exhausted from the days prior. Gale held Suspiria tight as they dozed off.
Suspiria woke up in the middle of the night sweating and gasping for air. This usually would’ve woke Gale, but he had barley gotten a few hours of sleep in the last couple days, he was still snoring quietly next to her. She smiled down at him and kissed his forehead before crawling over him to get some fresh air outside. She looked around the camp, it was silent except the faint chirping of crickets and the low hum of snoring coming from the tents. Everyone must be asleep.
“Good” she thought, a moment to herself to think. She climbed on the roof of the abandoned barn in their campsite, settling back on her elbows to gaze at the stars. It was beautiful, the sky was clear and the stars were bright. She breathed in shakily, trying to soothe her own thoughts, but it wasn’t working. She felt the hot tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn’t take it anymore… next thing she knew, she was sobbing uncontrollably, she only stopped when she heard a noise coming from below her. She snuck over to the edge of the barn, and drew her bow silently edging the building to see who might be below. They’d already been ambushed by vampires and shapeshifters, she wasn’t taking any chances. She was ready to send her arrow when she realized who it was.
“For fucks sake, Wyll! What’d I tell you about sneaking up on me. One of these days you’re going to get an arrow to the face!”
“Shit, Suspiria, I’m sorry it’s just I heard you crying and I was worried.”
She wiped the tears from her cheeks. “What are you even doing up?”
Suspira let out an annoyed sigh, “Couldn’t sleep.”
He climbed up onto the roof sitting next to her.
They both stared off in the distance in silence until Wyll asked “Suspiria’s, what’s really wrong?”
“I know we aren’t very close, but you’ve been acting strange. I don’t know much about medicine, but I don’t think you had food poisoning, no one else got sick and we all had the same breakfast. Are you stressed or…”
She started to cry quietly. He sat there waiting for her to speak. She sniffled and grunted under her breath. “I think I’m pregnant.”
“What?” He asked. He genuinely couldn’t hear her.
“I’m fucking pregnant! Fuck!” She blurted out.
This was the first time Wyll had ever seen her cry, but more shockingly, it was the first time he’d ever seen her scared… really scared. He started to put a hand on her shoulder, but drew back.
“I don’t know… I haven’t bled in 4 ten-day or more and now I’m throwing up. Im so scared Wyll, what am I going to do!” More of a statement than a question.
She hunched over, weak with fear. He stared at her with a look of concern, biting his tongue, he knew she didn’t want empty reassurances, but he wasn’t sure what to say. This was the first real conversation they’ve ever really had.
“You can’t tell Gale. You can’t tell anyone.” She demanded, staring so intensely, her eyes could’ve burned right threw him “If he knew he’d… he wouldn’t let me fight and he… he would…” she stumbled over her words choking through tears. He knew what she wanted to say.
She stared blankly in front of her. Wyll could see the fear in her eyes and hear the worry in her voice. “I won’t tell anyone, you have my word.”
She nodded weakly and jokingly mumbled “Good, contrary to what you may think, I’d prefer not to have to kill you.”
He laughed and she smiled, a very small pathetic smile, but a smile all the same. Wyll finally felt like he was starting to understand Suspiria. Her whole tough-guy act was merely a facade, deep down, she was terrified.
“So… should I congratulate you? If we were under better circumstances, would you be excited?”
“I don’t know. I never imagined myself as a mother… but I think… maybe I could be when I’m with Gale.” Her voice was shaky, lacking her normal confidence. “…and that terrifies me.”
Wyll smiled to himself. He respected Suspiria, but he never understood what Gale saw in her, to be frank, he thought his wizardly friend deserved better, but seeing her vulnerable like this, Wyll could tell how much she really loved Gale. She loved him so much it terrified her, more than she’d ever loved anyone. Honestly, Wyll was pretty sure that Suspira had never really loved anyone at all before Gale.
They sat there for a bit, not saying anything, until Wyll broke the uncomfortable silence with and even more uncomfortable question. “Not to be rude, but are you sure it’s Gale’s?”
“Excuse me! That’s very rude!”
“Shit… I’m sorry, it’s just I know you were with Astarion before and we haven’t been traveling that long and maybe you’d feel less scared if ummm… uh. I’m just going to stop talking now.” It’s like he forgot how to speak when he was around her, he was never this ineloquent. Even seeing her in such a vulnerable state, her presence was still so intimidating.
“This… this is why I don’t like you, Wyll!”
He winced at the sting of her words, feeling stupid for asking such an outrageous question.
After a minute, She sighed deeply. “It’s Gale’s, I only slept with Astarion twice, and the last time it was during my time of blood, so it can’t be his.”
“Oh…. Oh! Wait, does Astarion… you know what I don’t think I want to know the answer to the question…”
“Gods Wyll, you really are the connoisseur of putting your foot in your mouth, aren’t you?” She palmed her face shaking her head.
“I’m sorry…” he truly was, he knew he was being ridiculous, but he couldn’t help it, she made him so nervous, the kind of nervous you feel when you have to give a speech on a subject you know nothing about to a crowd of judgmental strangers.
“It’s ok.” She made an irritated grunt. After a few moments she cleared her throat. “…hey um…” she struggled to finish her sentence. “thanks for listening.” She couldn’t make eye contact with him, but her words were sincere.
He smiled widely, excited to hear the rare heartfelt thank you from the stone cold woman.
“But if you tell anyone about this, I will feed you to my wolf.” She glared at him with the intensity of all the gods rolled into one.
“Got it!” He held his hands up as if to surrender. She nodded at him, as if it were her strange way of thanking him again, and climbed down the roof, heading back to Gale’s tent.
It had been a few days since the nether brain fell, maybe a tenday, Suspiria couldn’t be sure, she was still exhausted from the battle.
She couldn’t stop thinking about
Karlach and Wyll. She never knew she’d have so much respect for a man she once could not stand. Karlach almost lost herself to her engine, but Suspiria convinced her to return to Avernus, she promised to go with her, to help her defeat Zariel and find a way to get her heart back, but Wyll stepped in to take her place. After the secret she’d shared with him, he insisted she remain at Gale’s side, the hells were no place for a mother to be, besides Wyll had an affinity towards killing demons. And yet, after all this, all that they’d been through, Suspiria still didn’t know how to tell Gale. It would’ve been easier if she had just left, like she’s always done before, but she couldn’t, not this time, not now that she had a friend, if you could call it that, to encourage her to say.
Her and Gale had spent the days following the fight laying in bed, enjoying each others company and resting, trying to recover their tired bodies from their injuries and to relax their frazzled minds, it was finally over.
Suspira lay on Gale’s chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.
“Gale, can you read to me?” She said quietly nuzzling his chest with her ear.
“Of course.” He picked up the book on the nightstand, the one he’d given her so long ago, the one she had carried with her for 20 years, “Whispers from the moon”, Gale’s childhood favorite about a boy, Jax, who ran away from home to live with wolves.
He cleared his throat starting the passage where they left off “Wolf mother Kalia bared her teeth at the boy, she wasn’t eager to trust a human, but the boy was but a lost pup.” He began to turn the page when Suspiria interrupted.
“What do you think of that name? Kalia? I quite like it.”
“It’s beautiful.. why do you ask?”
“I don’t know… just wondering.”
“You mean like… for a baby’s name?”
She looked at him through one lidded eye before returning to cuddle his chest. She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t have to. He knew that’s what she meant. He smiled eagerly. He had something he’d been meaning to bring up, now seemed as good of time as ever.
Suspiria felt Gale shift and get up out of bed, she turned to him wondering where he was going. She started to protest his absence but he just smiled wide at her and said “I can’t remember the last time I woke up without fear, without stress, without a sense of impending doom.” He leaned over to push a strand of hair behind her ear. He looked away bashfully. “You know, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you…”
Supiria looked at him, puzzled.
He continued “I think I’m going to drop this whole ‘Gale of Waterdeep’ nonsense, you’re now in the presence of plain old Gale Dekarios.”
“Good. You always sounded like a total ass when you introduced yourself like that.” She chuckled and gave him that sly smile he so loved.
He laughed “Well, at least I came to my senses eventually, thanks to you.” He nodded in her direction happily. “You make me a better man, a man I’m proud to be. I know you’re not one for this kind of sappy praise but I… well what I’m trying to say…” he swallowed hard, pushing through the nerves.
“Yes?” Suspiria tilted her head with a cocky smile.
“I love you, more than I’ve ever loved anyone and I’ve never felt so loved in return. You are everything to me. So… I was wondering if you would do me the honor of…. Um…” Suspiria stared in anticipation “…Joining the Dekarios Clan?” He choked on his words.
“Gale Dekarios, are you asking me to marry you?” She said playfully.
He giggled awkwardly “yeah… uh, I guess I am.” He shifted nervously awaiting her answer.
“Well, I never really saw myself as someone’s wife.” She teased. Gale winced a little at the response, but before he could recoil, she said “but for you… I can make an exception.”
“Wait… so is that a yes?”
“Of course I’ll marry you, you idiot! I love you, I want nothing more than to be with you.” She smiled. He grabbed her and kissed her deeply.
“There’s much to be done! We’ll need to prepare the invitations, the Dekarios clan is far and wide and I’m sure you’ll have guests you’d like to invite and…” she interrupted his rambling with another kiss, pulling him back in the bed.
“Hush wizard” she rolled on top of him, putting a finger over his lips as if to shh him. His tan skin flushing to a rosey pink. She planted kisses down his neck to his clavicle, stopping to pay extra attention to the scar where the orb lay dormant.
“Why don’t we celebrate with a hot bath….” She mumbled into his chest, his hair pricking her nose. She got up and looked over her shoulder back at him “I’ll get the warm water started” she smiled and sauntered off to the bathroom. His eyes widened at the proposition.
Suspiria new a few incantations being of mesatsophloes decent, so she cast one to warm the tub she had just filled with water. Her body was still aching from the battle days before. She couldn’t wait to hop in the warm water, she hoped it would soothe her sore muscles and the pain in her stomach, which had been bothering her for a while now, but as she was waiting for the water to boil she felt an intense cramping in her lower abdomen. She keeled over grunting from the pain. When she looked down she saw blood between her legs, so much blood, soaking through her trousers. With a gasp she removed her bottoms, frantically checking to see where the blood was coming from, even though she already knew what had happened.
“No…. No no no!” she collapsed to the wooden floor below, making a thud as she landed on her knees. She began sobbing and gasping for air, pure panic exuding her body, heartbreak consuming her. She had miscarried.
Gale ran over to the bathroom door. “Suspiria? What’s going on, are you ok?” No response… All he heard were the choked sobs of his now fiancé. He pushed open the door horrified at the scene before him. “What?! Suspiria. Where is all this blood coming from? What’s going on? Are you ok?” He rushed down to the floor beside her, grabbing her shoulders frantically but gently. He tried to work out the confusion, but the look in her eyes broke him. She collapsed into him, shaking and crying as he held her.
“I’m sorry. I’m … so sorry.” Her speech was barley comprehensible, more croaks than words.
He stroked her hair and whispered reassuring kind words into her ear. Her crying slowed enough for her to acknowledge him after a few minutes. She looked up at him, her face still hot and swollen with tears. Gale held her face in his palms, wiping a tear away with his thumb.
“What happened?” He asked with sincerity, even though he was pretty sure he already knew, as much as he wished he was wrong. She looked down, unable to speak. He pulled her into another embrace kissing the top of her head.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He whispered, pushing back tears of his own.
“I couldn’t… you would’ve…” she choked on the viscus saliva filling her mouth, tears spilling from her dark eyes, which had seemingly lost their fiery glow. She felt him nod gently above her. She was right, he would’ve done anything to protect her if he knew, even if it meant sacrificing himself.
Gale’s words blurted from him in a fit of despair “I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so so sorry that I put you in that situation. It wasn’t fair to you, you should’ve been able to tell me, but you’re right, I would’ve acted rashly.” He did his best to conceal the sorrow in his voice.
“I couldn’t lose you.” She cried.
“I know. And I’m so glad you didn’t have to.” He pulled back from her and kissed her gently on the forehead. After a few moments of sitting there, holding her tight, he found the strength to speak.
“We can try again, if that’s what you want?”
She wiped the remnants of the tears staining her face. “I’m… I’m not sure.”
“No matter, we have all the time in the world to figure that out. I’m just happy you’re here, with me, safe. We can get through anything, as long as we’re together.” He stroked her cheek with the tips of his fingers, soft and sincere, before guiding her lips to meet his. She smiled weakly into his lips as he kissed her tenderly.
“Are you still up for that bath?” He asked, gently wiping away the blood from her skin with a warm cloth.
She nodded and looked him in the eyes “I love you.”
“I love you more.” He smiled and helped her into the bath, following behind her. He gently cleaned her up. She sank back into him resting her head in the nape of his neck. He kissed her lips, wrapping his arms around her tight. Even in this time of heartbreak, their hearts were so full, they knew it would be ok, as long as they had each other.
janainaart
kaledo-art
prguitarman
titsay
jacobvanloon
areudirty
turnnoffyourmind
