Daniel Trent

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

love the phrase "but I digress." yes I temporarily got lost in the moors I wander in my mind but don't worry I'm self-aware about it

In cyclops world the teens have a trend where they play "we are young" by fun and when he says "give me a second i" they put a second eye on random celebs like cyclops shane dawson

you craft such intricate tales

Jigsaw is the villain from SAW. jigsaw. It’s not “Jingle caps” even though that’s what I just said out loud to someone.

underrated tumblr feature is being able to catch up to yourself on your dash. so there is an END POINT. and you can say “ah, I have reached where I left off, there is no more to see! I’ll take my leave now and come back later when there are new posts.” instead of being stuck forever in a bottomless algorithm pit digging deeper and deeper till you have to summon monumental strength to climb out

in my high school a few years ahead of me there was a polyamorous girl named luna who was dating a guy and a girl and the girl was named (i swear to god this is her birth name) marea. they were named moon and tide and they were lesbian lovers. i thought it was the most romantic fated thing ever as a tiny baby queer it would make me sigh in adoration. the boyfriend's name was frank

love when emails start off with “DO NOT REPLY”. like oh yeah way ahead of you brother

my hot take is that there is only one animated movie in existence that should ever be remade, and that is Hoodwinked! (2005). Do not record any new lines, don’t add or detract anything from the script, just reanimate it so it doesn’t look like a crash bandicoot cutscene for the PS1

It kind of makes me sick to think about just how many people are going to have their eyes glued to the superbowl this weekend because they’re betting on it. The likely MILLIONS of dollars that desperate people are going to lose to these fucking gambling apps on Sunday makes me want to start exploding things

Sports betting apps (and now, everything betting apps like kalshi) are like the ultra wealthy figured out a way to make a literal Instant Wealth Transfer button. Just push this button and give us the money you made at your shitty low paying job and maybeeeeee you’ll get rich :) we promise there’s a possibility! Just push the button isn’t it so shiny and fun looking? Don’t you love being a Sports Fan? Don’t you want to bet the little money you have on world politics

tumblr was down and i couldn’t even post on tumblr about it

I know we’re all like lawless nonconformists but you really can’t be texting and driving. that’s one of the ones you’ve gotta listen to for real

looked up the qualifications for working at poison control and you need to have a medical background. that makes perfect sense and if i thought about it for even one minute i could have come to that conclusion myself. but if i ask myself what i was imagining just minutes ago i have to admit that i vaguely imagined that there was a Poisons Handbooks listing all the types of poisons in the whole world and what they do to you and the Poison Control people just flipped through the handbook to see if you were gonna die or not and if so, how and how fast.

Fam, as a former truck driver, it absolutely fucking does.