mace

this might be kind of a reach but is there a way for printers to connect to devices so that documents can be printed from them

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

i can be trusted around the box of ice cream sandwiches in your freezer

a car you used to drive can also be a kind of dead wife

trust that garlic and i are well acquainted

adult backpack wearers of the world unite

not a caller not a texter but a secret third thing

im going to fix my entire life

When?

Like Um. later

Still can’t get over Johnny calling his definitely-not-a-shadowhunter- son “Christopher Jonathan” like sir. You may as well have named him Shadow McHunter at that point

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

im not the same person i was when I pulled that meat out of the freezer this morning. I've changed. i don't have that in me anymore. ive moved on

I think we as people who have periods should be able to expel it rapidly all at once like peeing. There's a whole untapped potential out there. I'd let it all go in the back of a police cruiser