Of All The Seven Hells

my favorite phrase in the english language is “i shit you not”

no offence but I dont give two shits how big a carbon footprint inhalers and other medical equipment have when theyre keeping someone alive. like sorry you shouldnt feel guilty over the medical device that allows you to breathe when shell can guzzle oil directly into a birds mouth and nothing happens

Europeans here’s a reminder to go grab another glass of water if you haven’t already

why does legal weed have to come in the most psychologically torturous packaging

i get that the ziplock seal with four false openings is supposed to be child proof but it’s also idiot proof and brother i am stupid

yesterday my date made me promise to "not talk to any random russians this time" only for me to immediately become best friends with a kosovan gang member. saved on a technicality

"why did you have to promise that you won't talk to russian people in in first place" because after a certain amount of alcohol i enter a stage of inebriation my friends have dubbed "russian hour" in which the duolingo trained part of my brain takes over and i sniff out russian speaking people like a bloodhound and exitedly talk to them until i am physically dragged away.

Everyone playing Stray right now: we don't talk about the sewers

sobbing over the humanity of the robots in Stray. they listen to music. they play dungeons & dragons. they have barber shops and bars and play the guitar and write poetry. they get heart eyes when a cat purrs against their legs. there are robot children! robot grandparents! they like comfy pillows and candles and warm blankets and they grow plants in a city that has never seen sunlight! they’re human and they’re not and there’s no humans left and they’re alive. ahhhhhhh

Legit “fuck me? no, fuck YOU” energy.

oh thank god, it's genuine spider-man 3 discourse, like a gentle rain