Dad Rock Deconstructor

Here’s a short video illuminating the influence Cactus’ 1970 debut record had on the Van Halen brothers, particularly on Van Halen I. 

Cactus, featuring former Vanilla Fudge members Carmine Appice and Tim Bogert, are largely ignored as any kind of influential classic rock band, but it’s very clear that their first record left quite an impression on the Van Halens.

Check out the intro to “Let Me Swim”, featuring the exact drum fills and chord progression appearing 8 years later as the intro to “Eruption”.

Additionally, the lead off track from the Cactus record, “Parchman Farm”, seems to have served as the template in vibe, groove, and energy for the VH classic “I’m The One”.

Check out this video to compare them side by side:

The Van Halen drama machine just cranked through the stratosphere these past few days.

I’ve already written a few pieces touching on this very subject matter (here and here), but felt compelled to add a few points.

1) Nobody in their right mind would ever run the risk of sabotaging their business by pissing off their fanbase, a short few weeks before a tour. Ed’s fans are the most loyal you’d ever find (who else would stick around after being pretty much shit on for 20 years?), but you have to wonder if this internet-exploding Billboard EVH feature is the last straw.

If you are trying to sell out a tour, insulting the fanbase by giving your negative and inflammatory version of the truth is a very bad business move. This is exactly why artists hire entire teams of press management and PR. But EVH is such a control freak, he can’t even bring himself to do that. Perhaps he is so bitter that his band has become the very thing he swore it never would - a nostalgia act - that he is trying to blow the whole thing up for good. 

Then again - I would love to know what percentage of tickets sold for the upcoming tour are loyal fans vs. fairweather fans. It may be that, while some angry fans are threatening to boycott the tour or sell off their tickets, most people who bought tickets are completely oblivious (or just don’t care) about any of this.

2) Amid the landslide of overwhelmingly negative reaction, it’s crazy that nobody is talking about how he completely slammed Ted Templeman -- the man who signed Van Halen - the man who produced each and every one of the 6 iconic, highly revered CVH albums! To me, that really speaks to EVH’s paranoid delusions and control issues, and overall lack of appreciation for the rock-star life he has been blessed with. 

I would go one step further and speculate that possible medical disorders (autism, asperger, bipolar perhaps?) coupled with so many years of drug and alcohol abuse (not to mention the widely speculated crystal meth use around the disastrous ’04 tour) have cooked Edward’s brain to the point of no return. 

Any sane person can plainly see that Templeman, Michael Anthony, and David Lee Roth were integral to the success of Van Halen. It’s fact! To diminish their contributions so publicly is just complete delusion and stupidity - the sure sign of a man who lives in a world other than reality.

3) The VH family has maintained radio silence since the article hit the web - except for Val, who hit twitter and instagram with a few gems. She admires Ed’s lack of a “PC edit button”, and warns us to #judgenot, as “it was his experience, not ours.” Even ‘That Metal Show’ host Eddie Trunk prefers raw, emotional transparency from his favorite bands instead of carefully scripted press releases and interviews.

That’s all well and good, but both are missing a very important point -- if you are not likable, and talk shit about those who contributed to your success (past or present), the fans are simply not going to stick around. That’s not the ideal business strategy to employ as you compete for ticket dollars in a cluttered and competitive 2015 summer touring season.

The cold hard reality is that EVH lost a lot of fans this weekend. Let’s grab some popcorn and see how (if!) this debacle spills over into the tour.

4) Sammy’s youtube response to the article was awesome. Raw emotion and loyalty (yes, loyalty - eh Eddie?!!) - you gotta love him. But the response that took the cake came from none other than Gary Cherone. Pure genius!

Certainly by now you’ve heard about the mini war of words between Van Halen vocalists David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar. 

And a key word that comes up in the back and forth between the two singers is ‘credibility’, and who has more of it when it comes to being Van Halen’s frontman.

David Lee Roth said “Well, there’s a credibility issue there. Good, bad or in the middle, you know Roth means it; the other guy doesn’t.”

The other guy, of course, is Hagar. 

But hold on a minute.

David Lee Roth wants to talk about credibility?? David Lee Roth wants to talk about meaning it?? That’s pretty funny coming from a guy who could easily sell ice to Eskimos, then get them to buy more ice they don’t really need.

If you want to talk about credibility, then go back to a 1978 festival gig in Anaheim Stadium. Fans will recall four long-haired figures who parachuted into the stadium. Meanwhile, the four members of Van Halen - largely unkown at the time, dressed in parachute outfits, and hell-bent on making a splash - were huddled in a van, and took the stage shortly thereafter.

Go ahead and check out any old Youtube live footage of Van Halen in the early days and witness Roth prancing around, getting his aerobic workout in, while appearing to be completely drunk, forgetting the words, and just looking lost when it comes to the song being played.

Bassist Michael Anthony and guitar whiz Eddie Van Halen do more actual singing in concert than Roth, who is content to prance around, scream a few “Whaaaaas” or “Ooohhhs” and hold his mic stand in the air.  Granted he does stumble through most of the verses.

But wait! Apparently the whole Roth being wasted on Jack Daniels and his now-famous “I forgot the fucking words” during concerts was all part of his shtick. It was all part of his attempt to gain – wait for it – credibility from the band's party-hardy fans. Wow. 

So wasn’t that the real David Lee Roth? So much for his credibility, then. How can he be credible when people aren’t even seeing the real Roth? Which begs the question: Who is the real Roth? 

He clearly doesn’t care about credibility. Roth finds credibility in his bank account and ripping off Van Halen fans who spend crazy amounts of money to watch him prance around and try - try - to sing on stage.  Naturally they’re not doing any Van Hagar songs on this latest tour. Roth doesn’t have the ability to sing them and doesn’t want to, which is cool.

When the internet first appeared in the mid nineties, I was so excited to finally enjoy up to the moment info, news and details from all my favorite bands. Within a few years, all the big names in rock had some sort of web presence ... an official website combined with plenty of fan sites, forums, email digests, and message boards. Keeping up with all your faves was never easier!

Fast forward to the current day climate of rock and roll. Not a week goes by without some sort of band inner-turmoil making the rounds on social media, Blabbermouth, and several other rock websites. Band business has never been more transparent. The Bill Ward and Black Sabbath reunion attempt, Geoff Tate and Queensryche’s onstage showdowns, Dave Lombardo’s firing from Slayer and The Black Crowes breakup are just a few recent examples of drama aired out in public for the rock world’s entertainment.

Back in the day, lineup changes were blamed on a member’s rampant drug or alcohol abuse - or the old standby: “creative differences”, and that was always as far as it went. Nowadays, any freshly excommunicated band member scorned is more than willing to air his grievances in a detailed Facebook post.

There is little doubt the current implosion of the music industry has put an incredible financial strain on legacy band dynamics and relationships - especially the B-level working class bands.

Many of these ex-bandmembers are going public and revealing the inner-workings of the band’s business, most likely in an attempt to sway public opinion to their side, improve their ability to go solo, and maybe even put a dent in the band’s overall revenue to hopefully improve their bargaining power.

Only one problem ... most fans don’t care!

Take the Bill Ward/Black Sabbath situation for example. Many hardcore fans (myself included) applaud Ward’s refusal to sign a contract that completely insults his contributions and value to the band. No doubt Sharon squeezed the band splits largely in Ozzy’s favor, and I’m sure Geezer and Tony are just happy to be getting something. But apparently, the like-minded hardcore fans (who believe that Black Sabbath Mark I does not sound remotely close to authentic unless Bill Ward is on the throne) don’t matter one iota to Sharon - least of all, the members of the band themselves. The Rick Rubin produced, Tom Wilk (of Rage Against The Machine) drummed, plodding and overrated reunion studio album “13” garnered the band their first Number One, and the ensuing tour was a sellout. +1000 Sharon Osbourne!

The whole debacle is strikingly similar to the current Kiss situation, with Eric Singer and Tommy Thayer sporting the SpaceAce and CatMan personas onstage. Many hardcore fans are outraged to the point of boycott, yet the band continues to do healthy business on the road (even with Paul Stanley’s insane vocal issues!!), with most (if not all) in attendance completely oblivious that original members Ace Frehley and Peter Criss are actually being impersonated.

More and more we are seeing the crucial (read: essential) figurehead personalities within each band leveraging their popularity to take complete control of the business.

Shawn Drover and Chris Broderick recently walked away from Megadeth on the eve of recording a new album. Somewhat shockingly (or not shocking at all, depending on how you look at it), Dave Mustaine was quite happy to NOT pay those guys a dime for recording the new record. No worries though - when there are plenty of young and hungry no-name musicians (who apparently still live with their parents) that would leap at the chance to fill a vacant slot in the thrash titan!

The music news sites are currently blowing up with some irresistible GnFR click bait. Turns out, “Sweet Child O’ Mine” is a rip off of Australian Crawl’s “Unpublished Critics”!!?

Welcome to the 2015 music industry! For those just joining us (or those who didn’t read my Tom Petty/Sam Smith analysis), let’s summarize:

1)  The internet has made every song ever recorded instantly accessible, enabling a high level of potential music discovery never before seen in history.

2) There is more music being written and recorded right now than at any other time in history. As a result, with every passing year, the number of recorded songs that simply exist grows dramatically.

3) There’s only a finite number of notes, chords, grooves and progressions.

4) Since there are more and more songs instantly accessible every day, the probability of discovering similar sounding songs increases with every passing year.

5) The music industry is dead, and publishing companies are scrambling to make ANY kind of buck.

1+2+3+4+5 = a meteoric rise in copyright infringement accusations and claims.

Great time to be a songwriter, huh?

I’m not talking about artists or writers that knowingly borrow and steal … I’m talking about those who have no idea they’ve just written something that sounds similar to something else - a purely coincidental similarity.

I still stand by my belief that the “Stay With Me” songwriters had no idea they were writing the same melody as Tom Petty had 25 years earlier. And it’s utterly laughable that anyone would actually believe Axl, Slash, Izzy, Duff, and Steven pulled themselves away from the strippers and Nighttrain long enough to intentionally rip off a deep album cut from some no-name Australian pub band. Not to mention, If you’re gonna rip off something, presumably you’d rip off something great, right?

Right about now, Jake E. Lee has to be wondering if the yearlong bitch-slap delivered by the cold hard reality of the present day music industry is ever going to end.

Jake E. Lee’s most distinguished claim to fame is that he was the hot-shot 80s gunslinger chosen to replace the fallen Randy Rhoads in Ozzy’s band (well, that’s not technically true, as Bernie Torme and Brad Gillis occupied the position for a brief moment, but neither ended up on a studio record). Combining ball-hugging spandex infused fretboard skills with stadium sized showmanship, Jake proved a worthy successor.  He recorded two (somewhat unremarkable) records with the Prince of Darkness (”Bark At The Moon” and “The Ultimate Sin”), before tiring of getting screwed by Sharon moving on and forming the hard hitting, bone dry, tough-as-nails blues-rock outfit Badlands.

And what a great band it was! Jake put together a rock solid rhythm section comprised of Eric Singer and Greg Chaisson, and scored by securing the soaring Ray Gillen on lead vocals.  The debut album stuck out like a sore thumb in the late 80s pop glam era, but was a favorite of mine. It featured some killer jams and performances from the boys, and cut through the Poisons and Warrants of the day with some no-bullshit 70s-influenced bluesy hard rock. Non-believers need only cue up ‘Winter’s Call’ for a serious LedZep harkening riff-fest!

Next was the criminally underated sophomore release “Voodoo Highway", which was largely ignored as it was released amid the death knell of grunge. Cue the typical band infighting and clashing egos (the predictable byproducts of soft album sales), and soon Badlands was done. Ray Gillen’s untimely death shortly thereafter made things pretty final for the band.

Then Jake disappeared.  

For 20 years.

Coaxed out of retirement a year and a half ago, Jake re-emerged with a new album called Red Dragon Cartel. Boasting a more modern-rock sound, it still contained enough of the vintage-era Jake vibe and solid production value to satisfy the hardcore fanbase - a solid effort.

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for Red Dragon Cartel - the touring entity.

It seems poor Jake has unwittingly re-written the handbook on how to royally screw up a comeback. As the notoriously drunken debut gig at the legendary Whisky A Go Go (or any youtube live clip thereafter) proved, you can’t throw together a backing band of marginally talented flunkies, barely rehearse, and expect to sustain any kind of healthy live business. Sure, the hardcore fans will come out once, but, in this day and age, you’ve got to DELIVER if you want them coming back for more.

And this band is terrible, with plenty of youtube evidence to corroborate.

To be fair, Jake sounds great. But his backup band is just horrid.

After a year on the road, RDC is onto their third lead singer and third bassist, with possibly the weakest drummer I’ve ever heard grace the drum throne in a “pro” hard rock band.

I get it - it’s not like Jake E. Lee is a household name. His comeback is only of interest to the 80s rock die-hards, so it’s not surprising that he cannot command very much dough per performance (translation - the sideman gig in Jake’s band doesn’t pay very well). So, it seems, to be able to pay himself “what he deserves”, he’s apparently skimped on his supporting musicians. This serious lack of judgement may have cost him any chance of a credible comeback.

By investing in a killer backing band, Jake could’ve come out of the gate strong, and potentially have won over the incredibly descerning present-day rock audience - dovetailing the comeback into a long term viable business (eg - Slash with Myles Kennedy and the Conspirators).

Instead, to the delight of the Blabbermouth haters, Jake chose to double down on his name and put in the minimum amount of effort, thinking things haven’t changed since the good ol’ days.

Tool meets Foo Fighters.  The drummer is killing - crank it!!

Scott Weiland has spent much of his professional career pea-cocking around like the self-proclaimed poster child of rock and roll rebellion. In his mind, the frequent public displays of chemically-enhanced bad behavior, cancelled tours, lawsuits and rehab stints surely ups his street cred.

Take this exchange from a recent Classic Rock interview:

Your autobiography is titled Not Dead And Not For Sale. What does that title mean to you? It means that I’m not dead and I’m not for sale. Obviously, but beyond that? It means what it says. I’m still here doing my thing, I’m not a sell-out and I can’t be bought.

Wow, thanks for clearing that up!

Apparently in 2015, agreeing to write and record songs with a bunch of no-name musicians, getting paid, then distancing yourself from the project in the press is just part and parcel of being one of the most dangerous rock personalities ever!

Kudos Scott Weiland!!  You’re obviously not a sell-out and you can’t be bought!!

Heavy metal music exploded in popularity during the 1980s as bands like AC/DC, Metallica, Iron Maiden and Guns N’ Roses became household names thanks to MTV, radio airplay and constant touring. Many of these bands are among the biggest rock acts in the world, and their influence on on other bands and the music industry as a whole is certainly immense. So here are our top 10 most important and influential albums of the 1980s – note this is not a list of what we consider the “best” albums, but certainly the most pivotal.

10. Operation: Mindcrime - Queensryche, 1988

Queensryche’s seminal concept album, released in May 1988, is their third record and the one that put the Seattle art rockers on the metal map in big way. A timeless testament that’s aggressive and melodic, hard hitting and intelligent, Operation: Mindcrime continues to remain relevant musically and even politically.  "Progressive Metal” may not even exist today had it not been for Tate and DeGarmo putting their balls on the line and birthing the first heavy metal concept record. Bands like Dream Theater, Fates Warning and Power of Omens were all influenced by Mindcrime.

9. The Real Thing - Faith No More, 1989

Faith No More’s third album burst onto the scene in June, 1989, spearheaded by the breakout hit single ‘Epic’. One part funk, one part rap and two parts heavy metal, Mike Patton’s first record with this Bay Area outfit is a positively infectious salvo of killer heavy rock, worlds away from the chart-topping pop metal sounds of the Sunset Strip. With crunchy guitars and stellar production from Matt Wallace, The Real Thing influenced Nu Metal bands like Limp Bizkit and Korn. Nirvana, Metallica, Slipknot and Guns N’ Roses were also impacted by this stellar record.

8. Nothing’s Shocking – Jane’s Addiction, 1988

While all other Sunset Strip bands were busy spraying too much Aqua-Net onto their scalps, Jane’s Addiction crafted a major label debut that is both beautifully trippy and hypnotically epic. It’s the only album from the era that washes over you like the Pacific Ocean lapping the shores of Venice Beach. Produced by the legendary Dave Jerden and lead vocalist Perry Ferrell, Nothing’s Shocking combines uber heavy guitar with the swirls and trippy echoes of Ferrell’s soaring vocals. Cross Pink Floyd with Metallica and you get Nothing’s Shocking, a record that has more than stood the test of time and influenced the likes of Rage Against The Machine, while helping spawn the Alt Metal genre.

7.  . . . And Justice For All – Metallica, 1988

It is utterly unpredictable and insane that this collection of sprawling progressive-metal epics (complete with one of the worst mixes in history) made such an impact.  Make no mistake, this album marks the EXACT moment heavy metal went mainstream.  The album shipped platinum, and with the subsequent release of the “One” video, Metallica became a household name, setting the stage for their impending world domination. Justice marks the end of Metallica’s “early days” as they would go on to record the Black Album, and eventually become the biggest band in modern rock and roll. While dozens of bands drew inspiration from Justice, fans are still waiting for an official remix with the bass turned up.

6. Back in Black – AC/DC, 1980

Some will argue the Aussie rockers’ tour de force doesn’t belong on this list; however, Back in Black was the blueprint for a host of bands like Jackyl, Airborne, and pretty much every three-chord rock band to follow. Masterfully produced by Mutt Lange, who recommended Brian Johnson as a replacement for the late, great  Bon Scott, this album sounds as good today as it did when it was released on July 21, 1980. Demolishing all odds with a new singer, the record is rock solid and a career defining piece of work for AC/DC.

5. Reign in Blood – Slayer, 1986

Slayer’s ageless major-label debut is one of the best albums of the 1980s and one of the most influential with a host of bands. With the guidance of producer Rick Rubin, Reign in Blood is a 10-song, 28-minute manifesto of thrash metal that’s both brutal and uncompromising. Cannibal Corpse, Slipknot, Lamb of God, Pantera and bands like System of a Down, all were influenced by the thrash mastery of Reign in Blood. Suffice it to say Tom Araya, Kerry King, Jeff Hanneman and Dave Lombardo, with help from Rubin, created the ultimate thrash album that stands as the definitive piece of work from the genre.

4. Iron Maiden – Iron Maiden, 1980

Maiden’s raw self-titled debut, released in April 1980, cross-pollenated punk aggression with metallic riffs, resulting in a record that would hold sway with bands like Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth and Anthrax. At the forefront of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal, Iron Maiden literally explodes out of the speakers with its twin guitar harmonies, complex 70s-prog inspired arrangements, and plenty of punk attitude.  There are more than a few classic albums in Maiden’s discography, but this is the one that started it all – the beginning of the modern heavy metal and thrash movement.

3. Pyromania – Def Leppard, 1983

Some might question its inclusion here, but this 10-million selling record paved the way for pretty much every 80s hair band that ever got on the radio. Pyromania is so much more than your typical album from that period. Built for radio, brick by brick, by producer Mutt Lange, with razor sharp guitars, space age drums, and killer hooks, Pyromania planted modern hard rock firmly into heavy radio rotation and on MTV and MuchMusic. “Photograph”, “Rock of Ages” and “Foolin” all enjoyed plenty of airtime.

2. Kill ‘Em All – Metallica, 1983

Our No. 2 album won’t surprise anyone, as Kill ‘ Em All is the record that put American thrash metal on the map. Taking inspiration from the New Wave of British Heavy Metal and the like of Motorhead and the Misfits, Metallica’s debut is a furious assault that showcases tight riffs, bombastic bass, and fast tempos. So many thrash metal bands were directly influenced by Kill ‘Em All, which is also the foundation for many thrash sub-genres that followed. We all know James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammett and the late Cliff Burton certainly knew what they were doing as they crafted an album for the ages.

1. Appetite For Destruction – Guns N’ Roses, 1987

Our consensus pick at No. 1, Appetite For Destruction is pure snarling Sunset-Strip street rock, loaded with timeless songs that single handedly swat away the sugary-pop poofters and wanna-be bad boys of the mid-80s. It's the explosive sound of five misfits coming together in Hollywood, fusing the swagger of Aerosmith with punk-rock’s “who gives a fuck” attitude.  Appetite marked a turning point in the hard rock world as hair metal died shortly thereafter and grunge lumbered its way onto the mainstream music scene in the late 80s and early 1990s. You could say Appetite For Destruction is the very embodiment of hard rock/heavy metal in the 1980s .

With summer quickly approaching, 2015’s mega-tour circuit is starting to heat up. The Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney, Queen, Metallica, The Who, Fleetwood Mac, Def Leppard/Styx, Motley Crue/Alice Cooper, Van Halen, Bob Seger, and U2 will all take mammoth productions on the road this year.

That’s an impressive list of legacy bands - hitting the boards and sheds yet again - making their personal bankers “fans” (with enough disposable income) very happy.

But one rock icon still refuses to play ball - Robert Plant.

After a critically acclaimed Led Zeppelin reunion show at London’s O2 Arena in 2008, Robert Plant did the unthinkable. He left money - unbelievably large sums of it - on the table, and walked away, leaving Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones high, dry, and probably pretty pissed.

"You're going back to the same old shit," he says. "A tour would have been an absolute menagerie of vested interests and the very essence of everything that's shitty about big-time stadium rock. We were surrounded by a circus of people that would have had our souls on the fire. I'm not part of a jukebox!"

What a concept. Staying true to yourself. Making the music you want to make, instead of being a slave to the past, to nostalgia, to your bank accounts, to your managers, booking agents, and corporate sponsors. Everybody is screaming for one last Zeppelin tour, and Robert Plant continues to give them the middle finger. Robert Plant would rather play the second stage at Bonnaroo or a bowling alley in Brooklyn. Robert Plant would rather jump onstage with Jack White to sing “The Lemon Song.” Robert Plant would rather try to move forward, instead of filling his pockets by squeezing every last drop out of the Legend of Zep.

In short - Robert Plant is my hero.

You could fill an entire book with every bad decision Van Halen has made the last 20 years. No other rock band in history is as good at single-handedly screwing up its own legacy.

I’m biased. I can still hear that opening riff of “Aint Talkin’ Bout Love” as a 12 year old like it was yesterday. I was floored. I immediately wanted to play the guitar, and now, decades later, playing guitar is exactly how I make my living. Thank you Eddie!

I loved the Roth and Hagar eras equally. Different sounding lineups, admittedly, but both rocked. Great songs, and killer performances. All the way through to 1996’s “Humans Being”- the group's dark, snarling, and epic contribution to the "Twister" soundtrack.

"Humans Being" would become Van Hagar's swan song. Unfortunately for us, Sammy's exit marks the moment the wheels really came off...

The band never recovered.  Debacle after debacle - the fireworks with Roth at the 1996 MTV Awards, Ray Danniels' stint as manager, Mike Post 'producing' "Van Halen 3" with Gary Cherone on vocals, Eddie's off-the-wagon antics on the 2004 tour, the remasters and greatest-hits packages, and, of course, the ousting of Michael Anthony, allowing Ed & Val's uber-spawn Wolfgang to claim the bass slot - just to name a few.

There were encouraging nuggets along the way. I still love the brand new tracks included on both greatest-hits records, and 2012’s "A Different Kind Of Truth" is an absolutely killer disc -- the band is on fire, the tunes are blazing, and its overall high quality earns a rightful spot alongside the first six albums.

I think that’s what stings the most. These guys are still completely capable of jaw-dropping brilliance. But for some insane reason, they just can’t seem to get it together.

Case in point - rumors of a "secret project" began to surface a few months ago, fueled by VH sightings at various studios around Los Angeles. The VH message boards lit up with rampant speculation ... could there be an album of brand new music in the works? How exciting!

A few weeks ago, that conjecture was put to rest with a press release announcing a new cd package ... Van Halen - “Tokyo Dome Live In Concert” - culled from a 2013 live performance, to be released at the end of March.

Say what??? A live album?

Dude!  It's 2015 ... any smartphone-equipped lackey can record and upload a rock show for the world to see and hear within seconds. The entire Tokyo show from 2013 was available for instant streaming on Youtube 2 years ago!!!  

OK, but maybe they’re going to release a DVD/BluRay version with high quality video of the show. Ummmm ... nope!

OK, but maybe they’re going to go in and fix the mistakes and clean up the vocals (after all, DLR's well-worn pipes are now 60 years old). Ummmm ... nope!

So what exactly is the point of this release? Do the VH brothers actually believe the fans are salivating for something like this?? Do the VH brothers actually believe they’ll sell even 10K copies of this package? Do the VH brothers even believe they are going to make money releasing this?

Clueless!

Eddie and Alex, please allow me to spell out exactly what your fans want:

1) New albums, regularly, and on-par with the quality of "ADKOT" (a cleaner production/mix wouldn’t hurt). It's true that Michael Anthony's absence leaves a hole in the sound, but Wolf still rips. We’ll take it either way!

2) Unlock the 5150 archives ... prep it all for official release ... outtakes, demos, instrumentals, vintage live shows, old videos, dvd/blu-ray ... all of it! The die-hards will eat this stuff up!!  

Wouldn't it be great to see the Van Halen brothers put their fans before themselves for a change? Release some goodies from the VH Vaults? Set aside their fragile egos, get Roth up to 5150, and make some new music? You know ... reward the fan base for their decades of loyalty?

Instead, the once-mighty Van Halen will hit the road again later this year, probably playing "Van Halen I" or "1984" in its entirety, guaranteeing maximum well-aged butts in the seats and a fresh pile of coin in their respective bank accounts.

I was blasting down the 405 in the California sunshine, when an absolute gem of a cut came blazing across my rental car’s XM Hair Nation dial.

I hadn’t heard Helix’s “Rock You” in many moons. Instantly, it transported me back to 1984, a particuarly fertile year in hard rock history. There I was, back in Canada, in the tv room I grew up in - just another suburban teenage ‘banger, unable to escape the video’s heavy rotation on MuchMusic (thanks CanCon!).

You gotta love XM for serving up these long lost hair-farming nuggets decades after-the-fact.

What immediately leaped out at me? Brian Vollmer’s lead vocal. It’s on 10 for, like, the ENTIRE SONG!!! Forget 10 - this one goes straight to 11, and it does not let up for a second. Vollmer absolutely killed it in the vocal booth. I mean, he didn’t just sing, he barked like a raving-mad pit bull - “COME ON GET UP AND MOOOOOVE!!!!!!”

Was he blitzed out of his mind on chemicals? Was he over-emphasizing every phrase because he convinced himself this was a worldwide smash? Was the producer a slave driver?

Who cares?!! Crank it up!!

Earlier this week, news broke that Tom Petty and Jeff Lynne hijacked were awarded 25% songwriting credit for Sam Smith’s massive hit “Stay With Me”. No litigation was required.

It is not uncommon for any chart-topper to encounter multiple copyright infringement claims. Whenever there is a windfall, there are vultures poised to pounce for any remote possibility of a piece of the action.

One might ask - Petty and Lynne have had phenomenally successful careers, so what the heck do they need the money for? The answer is that they most likely had nothing to do with it.

But their publishers sure did.

As the music industry continues to implode, plummeting revenues are leaving publishing companies scrambling to salvage their shrinking bottom lines.

So it’s not hard to imagine an entire floor of the Sony Music Publishing building on Music Row, stocked with wide-eyed freshly-graduated interns, scouring the darkest depths of the Sony catalog for any hint of a vocal melody that could potentially spur an infringement claim against some current Top 5 hit. Let’s call it : the “marginally reminiscient of a held copyright cash-machine” division.

Regarding “Stay With Me” and “I Won’t Back Down”, I believe the Smith camp - any similarities are entirely coincidental.

We are somewhere in the 6th(?) decade of rock and pop music. Today’s songwriters can’t help but feel the immense weight of the history of recorded music (accessible instantly online) on their shoulders. Factor in the 8 notes (usually less) of a major scale used to construct a melody, not to mention the small handful of chord progressions deemed “radio friendly”, and you start to understand the slim pickin’s left for those who ride the double-edged sword of conjuring up new and fresh jamz, while still maintaining “commercial viability”.

As the historical wading pool of revenue-generating hit-songs gets deeper and deeper every year, the probability of these coincidental similarities will most likely continue to rise, spurring an increase in copyright infringement litigation, or in the very least, more frequent backroom deals made by mealy-mouthed publishers, armed with a battery of lawyers, chomping at the bit for their slice of the pie.