Whats Up, Queers?

When I am king, we will valorize sanitation workers the way we currently valorize the military

never take for granted the moments when you’re not nauseous

no one is coming to save you its true its true someone might be coming to hang outttttttttt though. someday

ive never been able to take "climb him like a tree" as a sexual innuendo seriously because i picture climbing a tree in my mind and then i picture a tall man in my mind and when i put those two things together im not seeing anything sexual. im seeing like. circus tricks.

ban men's sports i have seen enough

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

i think once u successfully win a debate there should be a period where they let you get out all the ad hominems you were holding back

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

genuinely one of my favourite details about Bram Stokers Dracula that isn't really transferred to the pop culture is that vampires have irridescent eyes, they appear brown at a glance, however when light is reflected on them they seem to go red!

also like the cowboy part can we please stop omitting the fact that there is a real ass cowboy in Bram Stokers Dracula and hes from real ass Texas and he has a fucking gun and he tries to fucking shoot Dracula