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@cyprinella
in the interest of causing as much confusion as humanly possible

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Nationals Park, Washington, D.C., USA
Have you been here?
I have been here
I have not been here
i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.
well damn . egg on my face
THE PLOT THICKENS @averagejoey2000 explain yourself
I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I got a scam forklift cert.
I took the cargo ops class at school but my teacher explained that it doesn't give a certification and I'd only be okay for ship's crane and the school forklifts. she said I could take an online exam and get my cert. I paid 60 bucks.
I'm googling and I'm seeing a lot of resources saying that the online programs cover the classroom part of the exam but not the in person practical aspect.
29 CFR 1910.178 (l)(2)(ii)
but I did the in person practical shit at school.
the back of the card even had fancy numbers on it. I couldn't have known that this isn't the one. this website sounded more official than certifyme.net, and there wasn't one with a .gov address.
so, I emailed OSHA, and they said that so long as I live and work in California, there's no such thing as forklift certification. I have to be told how to do it every time I get the job.
Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.
This is a staunchly pro-bug zone. I may have contentious relationships with the ones that enjoy eating me or my food but that's life baby. The great web...

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I was gifted bathtub bulgestarion for my bday what should I do with him. Good and bad ideas please
Update I am putting this cactus in it I am dying how did they have a cactus So Perfect
ITS DONE
HIGHLY IMPORTANT UPDATE HE IS IN BLOOM
if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is
@inbabylontheywept
What.
who said that
tumblr waiting for news on mitch mcconnell (image source)
Entendible…

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Mitch McConnell will die two weeks from today (8/31/23)
there is no need to charge or cast i just be Knowing
Like i said dont ever fucking doubt me again
Still thinking about this mobile game ad I got. You will f**k increasingly large creatures.
Screenshots I took to traumatize my husband when I got this ad
It is HILARIOUS that they're censoring fuck. Let's not offend any delicate sensibilities by dropping a complete f-bomb in the middle of explaining the rules of the monster fucking 💦💦💦 game.
This is going to enter my vocabulary
i get so freaked out by like. pictures of really big rope
I’d like to say that’s normal but I’m a frayed knot
i’m so fucking annoyed at this, just for that you don’t get photos of the rope
i changed my mind, this is just too horrifying not to share
it’s called a Hawser and is the thick cable or rope used for towing/mooring a ship
in conclusion, i have nightmares beyond description
NO it would NOT be cool
well i fucken disagree
@scumrunner do you have any cursed facts about hawsers to share ?
As a fiber nerd, i am personally very enthusiastic about them….
Ohhohohoho DO I EVER. Meet the “snapback zone,” not an area with cool hats, but instead the unintuitive range at which a hawser can kill you if it breaks under tension.
What if we kissed in the snap-back zone? 😳 😳 😳
I don’t think you guys understand how much force this is, a tow rope used to move a 20 foot boat snaps under tension with enough force to dent metal, shatter glass and seriously injure anyone in its way. A Hawser on the other hand… Well I’ve seen a concrete pier with a chuck the size of a sedan ripped out of it by a line failure, and anecdotally, I’ve heard of a 2 ton heavy cargo forklift being skidded sideways, then knocked over. These lines snap with enough force to noticably dent the hull armor of navy ships.
This is a line designed to hold in place a moving object that can be easily in excess of 10000 tons. AND THEY CAN BREAK FROM THAT TENSION ALONE.
THESE THINGS ARE TERRIFYING RUBBER BANDS FROM HELL.
Nope Rope
NOPE ROPE
I’m once again reminded of its much smaller cousin, the haywire.
You’ve heard of the term, “Going haywire,” right? Ever spared a thought to why that term exists?
See, time was there was a prototype automatic hay-baler. But this was in that magic period juuust before we really got into standardized sizes. So calibration of the machine was handled manually - a mix of guessing and learning from the results of guessing. If you’ve read Raising Steam by Sir Terry Pratchett you know that many people don’t get to learn from the results of their own guesses, due to being dead.
A poorly calibrated hay-baler had the mechanical strength to smush the hay into a tight bundle, wrap the wire around it, and tie that wire off to maintain the bale’s form. But the pressure of the over-packed hay was a constant outward force. Each bale made by an over-tight baler was potential energy in physical form. We have a word for “potential energy in physical form” and that word is “bomb.”
So sometimes, a man would toss a hay bale and it would land with a twang and the man who’d been reaching down to pick it up where it landed was dead.
And that is what “haywire” means.
oh nice. i knew hay bales occasionally spontaneously combust, didn’t know they used to have an explosion factor too
I am learning multiple things today
Normally I’d expect wet plant matter to be less likely to go up in flames, but not hay bales! Those pesky bacteria really like to party in damp conditions. And by party I mean “create heat.”
Beautifully scary facts.
But I’m still giggling over this.
Stained glass smoker window on a purple obs

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You just teleported to the last movie you watched! how is it going?
good
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great
awful
FUCK YOU I'M IN THE BACKROOMS NOW
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Black is the Color of My True Love's Hair (complete, 10 chapters/98k)
Fandom: Due South Characters: Ray Vecchio (PoV), Benton Fraser, Stella Kowalski, Ray Kowalski Relationships: Benton Fraser/Ray Vecchio/Stella Kowalski/Ray Kowalski, Benton Fraser & Stella Kowalski, Ray Kowalski & Ray Vecchio, other permutations thereof Summary: When Benton Fraser meets his soulmate, Ray Vecchio is determined to make sure his friend gets the happily ever after he deserves - despite such minor roadbumps as her upset current husband and Ray’s own complicated feelings about his best friend. After all, there’s one thing everybody agrees on: when you meet your soulmate, that’s true love.
Everybody, however, doesn’t include Benton Fraser.
The Worst Soulmates/Soulmates Are Compulsory Heteronormativity AU is now complete, if you were waiting for that. It is about, broadly speaking: the intersection of amatonormativity and heteronormativity, big life experiences that society lies to you about, the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, and how you get to a happy ending when socially approved happy endings are not an available option. (Despite all of this I think Ray Vecchio technically has a nicer time than he does for the first half of Quartetto, since among other things it's a no-Vegas AU.)