andy

my little palace of unhealthy coping skills rants + mental health related posts . mainly depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder

now sounds like a good time to die

unfortunately, my life hasn't gotten worse, and therfore i have no justified reason to make myself suffer. sad times

is it bad to be excited for the possibility to get worse for a while?

nightmare. i wonder if everyone would abandon me if they found out i had such terrible coping skills

what if all my friends secreltly hated me? man that would be crazy haha. (im going to think about this for an eternity and make myself suffer)

im a terrible friend who cant be happy for those who get what i want before me

slowly slipping away from my friends as i stop texting first.

i hate bpd. im having a wonderful day but then im reminded the people around me are struggling and i cant help. now i feel anxious . i need to die . need to hurt need to hurt ohhhg.

want to bleed in the bath. wanna be held as someone gently rubs away the blood on my skin. wanna be kissed and told "its okay". want support for my self harm but i cant imagine upsetting someone with actions that aren't meant to hurt them, but only myself.

me telling my friends not to die while knowing i am actively trying to die: betrayal at its finest

i need to bleed more i need to bleed more i need to get worse i need someone to encourage me getting worse i need to rip my skin off