andy @cynicaltrial - Tumblr Blog

my little palace of unhealthy coping skills rants + mental health related posts . mainly depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder

#mental health #bpd #borderline personality disorder #living with borderline #borderline blog #depression disorder #depression diary #tw mental illness #tw

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my head hurts so fucking bad

#why has today been so horrible #so much has happened #so many important plans fell through #everyone around me is angry #i want to cry #why cant i cry #i need a really long shower #and some other stuff #but yk #📓lets talk #borderline blog #bpd #mental health #borderline personality disorder #depression disorder #vent blog #vent #tw #spiral

holy fucking Stress is the world cursing me for something

#faaauuuwwwck #📓lets talk #borderline blog #mental health #borderline personality disorder #bpd #depression disorder #vent blog #vent

sometimes ill be doing a task when i blank out and suddenly im doing something else and cant remember anything before. whats up with that ??

#if this headache means anything.#i think i just accidentally took double my meds #is this just disassociation #gen question #trying so hard to remember if i already took my meds and i just genuinely cant remember anything i did just five minutes ago #i walked to the kitchen and??? then there was food and i ate . and then i remembered my meds so i looked for them to no avail #hey... whos in my brain with me... /lh #📓lets talk #borderline blog #mental health #depression disorder #vent blog #mental health question #kinda

cynicaltrial

want to bleed in the bath. wanna be held as someone gently rubs away the blood on my skin. wanna be kissed and told "its okay". want support for my self harm but i cant imagine upsetting someone with actions that aren't meant to hurt them, but only myself.

cynicaltrial

ill never be able to describe my most needed comfort better than i did in this post.

#im tired #⛈️ reblogs

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somekindofstray44

need a pretty boy to bounce up and down on my strap like a sex doll while i lay back and watch woahh who said that

#⛈️ reblogs #nsft

splittingatbothends

All my relationships end like that scene in Toy Story where Andy says “I don’t want to play with you anymore” and drops Woody on the floor

#⛈️ reblogs

a cute boy who whines and cant get enough touch... i want you

#expect i just described myself so unless i grow the confidence to actually dom how i want to we're two bottoms #LOL #that moment when you're both in submissive mode so u just cry during it #i cackled sorry #📓lets talk #yes my vent blog is also nsft who would've imagined #thinking with my dick #mlm #gay #queer #mlm yearning #yearning #nsft #trans ftm #ftm switch #borderline blog #vent blog

do u actually like me or are we just playing a fun game of flirt back and forth

#help #im going insane again #tattoo..i need it now. now. i need.#📓lets talk #borderline blog #vent blog #gay yearning #yearning

i can be your boyfriend and dog if u want

#/nsx #im great at following u around and being in the way and constantly kissing you and being overbearing #woof #man i just want to be loved #even if that means i gotta be a dog #📓lets talk #borderline blog #vent blog #gay yearning #yearning

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every time i yearn ,im reminded that im mentally ill and should *not* have a relationship right now no matter how badly i want one because i would absolutely destroy myself for the other person

i need a drink

#do i like alcohol?#no #am i even allowed to drink?#am i absolutely craving a huge glass of wine rn?#yeah #fuck me bro #📓lets talk #vent blog

shoelace4-48

how do i kill these thoughts, before they kill me

#⛈️ reblogs

do u really want a boyfriend or do u just need reassurance that you're not an unlovable freak?

#things i ask myself #bpd is so trash i hate having this fuckass mentality #📓lets talk #vent post #bpd #borderline blog #borderline personality disorder #depression disorder #vent blog #mlm yearning #yearning #gay yearning #queer

at the point in my life where im ready to put my body on display just to get some affection

#i actually think its just my touch starvation mixing with my temporary addiction #but yk #i wanna make another account and just show off #i love my thighs so maybe i can get attention and love showing them #but then i remember i tried that before and flopped so hard #so #📓lets talk #vent blog #mlm #gay #queer #greyrose #yearning #mlm yearning #gay yearning #trans mlm #nsft

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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andy, u have a counseling appointment in two days. why not tell her all these feelings you're having?

no. i accidently created a better version of myself in front of her and now she can't know how disgusting my brain is.

#completely defeats the point of counseling #but yk #📓lets talk #bpd #mental health #borderline blog #borderline personality disorder #depression disorder #anxiety #vent blog

cynicaltrial

unfortunately, my life hasn't gotten worse, and therfore i have no justified reason to make myself suffer. sad times

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