but I knew him...

Being invited to something you weren’t sure you would be part of

That accomplished feeling of doing yard clean up on your own despite having asthma and allergies

Getting up early and going to hot yoga two days in a row

Ordering, receiving, and wearing a new leotard (it’s been 5 years since my last purchase!)

New nail polish color that doesn’t clash with your tan

Being the reason someone laughs or smiles

Baking treats for friends just because

Someone planning a group thing with you at the center of it

When your friend custom designs sunglasses for you and another friend finds what you designed already in stock

Surprising someone with an early birthday present

Sharing a moment with someone and making them truly happy in that moment

Special Moments:

Making him laugh

Being the reason he’s smiling to himself

Seeing his eyes crinkle up from being amused at/with me

When we joke around

Seeking his advice

His patience with me when discussing important things

When he admits he can’t quite read me and my realness vs sarcasm

When he shares a personal story or reveals something about himself

The trust he has in me when he unloads some of his stress

Seeing how talented he is

Don’t worry too much because she chooses you over them

You are the one she comes home to

I had always appreciated the notion of wearing another guy’s sweater and smelling his cologne or specific fabric softener or wearing his favorite baseball hat. But when it comes down to it, the act of taking clothes that are his just isn’t quite as appealing to me now that I’m older. Middle school days, I was definitely a fan of stealing my crushes hat or wearing a boy’s sweater. I’m not quite sure what’s changed my mind though. Perhaps it’s because I haven’t been in a relationship before or the fact that I’ve only took a short dip in that “somewhere in between” grey area, but I think that maybe it’s just that I prefer to delve a little bit deeper. Sure, I wouldn’t mind borrowing a cozy sweater and maybe I would feel some sense of pride to be wearing his jacket while we’re out together. But to put some kind of symbol of possession out there relative to this clothing sort of fanaticism? I don’t know. I just feel very differently about this. What he would give me of himself, of his mind, would make me secure enough in us that just the thought of him would make me feel better. Remembering his words and the look in his eyes would give me more comfort and I'd feel more connected to him than what clothes and scent memory can offer.