CylinderSaint

people are like you just need to apply to 10 jobs a day meanwhile each of the jobs want you to write them 1500 words of uniquely tailored sycophancy & then manually input your cv into their custom application form 3 different times

this is the first time in my life i thought oh i hope there’s music

the “sexy lamp test” but for disabled folks: if you can replace your disabled character with a beloved pet dog that needs an expensive surgery to survive then you have to throw out your manuscript 

scientists are experimenting on cross-breeding a crab and a cheetah; things could go sideways real fast

posting this again cause now its actually true

easy to forget but book jon snow is great actually. he gets so drunk he cries in his first chapter. he's 16 years old and laser focused on loan negotiation. he keeps getting promoted against his will. he's the chosen fantasy protagonist with the worst genre awareness ever. he implements pro immigration social reforms. he has a giant albino pet wolf. he cuts a guy's head off. he thinks he invented cunnilingus. he's been dead for 15 years.

the second 'o' in "zoologist" is putting in heavy duty work. girl is working two jobs

*holds you in my mouth perfectly safe between my sharp teeth bc i love you*

Safe in the jaws of mama

I know we are all like "people in caveman times would drill holes in their head to relieve headaches" andwe go oh that's so stupid that's so dumb but like. then I get a headache and I'm like.ooooh I get it I get it. Grug prepare the drill.